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10. Duncan.
It is perhaps ironic that Duncan is my favorite of the Narrow Gauge engines, because he’s probably the nastiest of the lot. He is basically the polar opposite of Rusty: a rough riding tank engine who tends to “rock-’n’-roll” along the line, he is selfish, bad-tempered, and in his own words, “a plain, blunt engine.” Duncan is one of those people who “loves having a grievance;” someone who likes to complain and mock people. He’s basically a railroading troll. Like most “trolls,” however, Duncan’s attitude comes from a somewhat insecure place. He does WANT to be useful (most of the time), and when he makes a mistake, he does LEARN from it...it’s just a sure-fire bet that he’ll make another mistake in no time at all. Being the polar opposite of Rusty, he and the little diesel have a rather...strained relationship. They are essentially “frienemies;” two characters who constantly disagree, but at the end of the day, they still care about each other. Rusty is always there to help Duncan out when he gets into trouble, and Duncan is always thankful when he does...but even so, it’s more than likely they’ll be having another argument within minutes. (In Rusty’s defense, Duncan always starts it.) I think I like watching Duncan because of that softer side of his character: seeing this angry, argumentative nutcase constantly eat crow and show his true colors is a classic set-up, and he does still have a good heart underneath it all.

9. Donald & Douglas the Scottish Twin Engines.
If you slapped Bill & Ben and Edward together and put them in a blender...you’d find that physically impossible and dangerous, since they are steam trains, but you’d also probably end up with Donald & Douglas. Like Bill & Ben, these twins tend to be a bit mischievous and have a strong sibling rivalry…but unlike Bill & Ben, these two rarely cause trouble with their hijinks. Actually, most of their jokes and pranks are the result of trying to show people up who DO cause trouble. They are also some of the strongest engines on the island, and they know it. In a famous scene from the books (sadly not found in the television show), the twins heard Gordon & Henry making fun of their deep-toned whistles, and sidled up alongside them. With very few words, and no physical contact at all, they put the two engines in their place. These two are AWESOME. Sometimes their strength is their downfall, however, as they sometimes forget just how strong they are...and when they lose control in some way, that can cause a lot of problems. They are always contrite, and always ready to help, but they like to have fun and never take things TOO seriously. (Duncan could probably learn a fair amount from these two.)

8. Henry the Green Engine.
Henry is a member of what I like to call “The Big Engine Trio” on the North Western Railway. And this trio takes up my eighth, seventh, and sixth places, so we’ll talk about each one individually, one at a time. Henry, like the other “big engines,” can be vain and a little spoiled from time to time. He’s very proud of his lovely green paint with red stripes, and is also a sort of “thoroughbred” engine. His pomposity is frequently punctured, and, of all three big engines, he’s probably the least egotistical of the lot. (Heck, on many occasions, he’s showed the other two up for their own egotism!) He’s also a lover of nature, as he likes to take scenic routes through the forest. This is perhaps ironic, because Henry, being a thoroughbred engine, is constantly sickly. He is incredibly strong on his best days, able to pull all sorts of loads and long trains with great ease, from the Flying Kipper to the Express, but he has a lot of mechanical issues that can foul him up at exactly the wrong moment, causing all sorts of issues. (As someone with perhaps the worst allergies this side of the globe, I sympathize deeply.) Still, he’s never an annoying character, and even on his worst days, he tries his hardest; indeed, the pride he DOES have, one could argue, comes from an understandable place when you put his strength and his frailty together, even if he does on occasion get too big for his britches. Besides, he’s nothing compared to the other two…

7. Gordon the Big Engine.
It was hard to choose between Gordon and James (more on him later), because, in a way, both are rather similar. Gordon, like James, is immensely egotistical; he’s proud of his speed, his strength, his size, his paint job, the kind of work he can do, and he flaunts it constantly. He’s constantly trying to act like he knows what’s best, and can be more than a little stubborn and condescending. However, I think it comes from a different place, compared to James. James gets angry when he fails somebody, and boastful when he pleases them. Gordon doesn’t seem to care who he pleases or fails, since he has deliberately caused trouble on more than one occasion. I think in Gordon’s case, it comes out of a different world: a feeling of responsibility. He constantly tries to take a leadership position; if engine’s had chests to puff out, his would always be held high, even when he fails. Even though he can be arrogant and even a little cold, he’s got a jolly sort of sense of humor, and while James tries to help others through actions, Gordon tries to do so through words. Even if he is frequently misguided, he’s constantly trying to advise the other engines and give them tips on how to be even better. The only problem? His definition of “better” is pretty self-centered. Still, he’s not serious one hundred percent of the time, it all does come from a well-meaning place, and he is once again a classic case of an engine too big for their buffers, who ends up eating the proverbial crow, and has to learn from their mistakes...and in Gordon’s case, the old saying does apply: “the bigger they are, the harder they fall.” Wise yet foolish, strong yet bungling, fast yet careless, Gordon is a powerhouse in every sense of the word, and I will always love him, no matter how badly he messes up.

6. James the Red Engine.
Vanity, thy name is James. Originally, I placed Gordon higher, but on reflection, I felt I really preferred James. The junior member of the “Big Engine Trio,” this bright red mixed traffic engine is probably the MOST egotistical of the three, in contrast to Henry. James is extremely proud of his splendid red coat, and of his skills as an engine. This isn’t a bad thing, but, Good Lord, he can’t stop talking about how bloody amazing he is! The slightest congratulation will have James soaring over the moon, boasting left and right about how he’s the best there ever was. He loves to brag and tell fantastic stories about himself, and tends to sneer and scoff at smaller engines for being useless and annoying, and at the bigger engines for being dumb lugs. (Both of which are obviously not true.) In a way, James is a sort of unlikeable character. Yet, even today, I think he’s one of the most popular characters in the franchise. So, why do I love James? Why do we all love James? I think it’s because James is one of those classic selfish twerps whose sense of self-righteousness comes from a very vulnerable place. He’s not evil, he’s basically just a big, attention-seeking child who loves to play the hero! He’s not trying to be nasty or cruel, he just doesn’t like having the spotlight stolen, and he genuinely likes making people happy! Much of his anger, in many cases, is self-incriminating: he’s mad because he’s disappointed the Fat Controller, or somebody else, not so much because no one said they liked him. It’s just that when he does get praise, he gets so excited about it that he can’t bloody shut his mouth! And I think everyone can relate to that: loving the limelight and the feeling that comes when you please somebody. So, even if he is a constant pain, we can find James funny and likeable no matter how often he tries to play king of the rails...and the fact he has to eat crow just about every time he gets too tough for his tender probably helps too. Ha Ha.

5. The Troublesome Trucks.
So this isn’t one character, or a pair of characters, so much as a large group of characters. The freight wagons all over Sodor are frequently depicted as...well...the series calls them “foolish,” and “troublesome,” and “silly,” but I, personally, like to think of them as [BLEEP]ING INSANE! Seriously! Am I the only one who thinks these bloody trucks are completely barking mad?! Do they have truck-shaped straitjackets on Sodor?! Are their railway psychiatrists who can see what’s going on in these self-destructive, giggling demons of CHAOS?! I sincerely hope not, because if there are, WHY HASN’T THE FAT CONTROLLER CALLED SOMEONE IN TO LOOK THEM OVER?! These trucks are friggin’ NUTS! Considering the fact that these wagons are supposed to be the means by which supplies are shipped out all over the place, they cause more problems than they are worth! They push trains down hills, knock them off the rails, break off and become runaways, stall and hold them back at the worst possible moments, and they LOVE doing it! They don’t just love causing trouble, they love causing LITERAL TRAIN WRECKS, laughing like little railroad Renfields all the while! Sometimes they do it because they were provoked, but most of the time they just do it for the heck of it! It’s a good thing that the humans in this world are quick to react, because otherwise, I don’t know how many innocent lives would be lost to these blood-hungry maniacs-on-wheels! In fact, the only time they seem to regret their actions is immediately before THEY ARE SMASHED TO SMITHEREENS! They’re like railway lemmings jumping off cliffs of foolery! When I said this show had a dangerous edge, THESE cackling lunatics were the primary reason why. This isn’t just harmless mischief, or even funny stupidity, this is some sort of weird mental issue, I’m sure of it! Then again, it’s that same craziness that makes me like the Troublesome Trucks. Annoying and dangerous to the engines of the island, and a LOT of fun to watch for their general wackiness and bleeped-up mental cases, the Troublesome Trucks are an often underrated group on the Island of Sodor. And no matter how badly they ALL need to see a doctor, I will always enjoy the thrills and chills they provide through their deranged shenanigans.

4. Devious Diesel.
Also simply called “Diesel.” (How inventive.) This guy was the first diesel engine the North Western Railway ever encountered, and he pretty much set the stage for all the evil diesels that would follow him. In his initial appearance in the book “Duck & the Diesel Engine” (and the television adaption of the stories therein), Diesel was basically your typical moustache-twirling villain. (But without a moustache...or the ability to twirl it.) With a voice described as “oily” and “purring,” he was a sophisticated and manipulative villain, filled with spite, who enjoyed stirring up trouble for anybody who caused him the slightest grief. Unforgiving, never forgetting, he wanted to prove that diesel power was better than steam power, and would stop at nothing to become the superior engine. He ultimately was found out and sent packing...but it wouldn’t be the last time his devious smirk would slither into Sodor. He would make reappearances once or twice in the books, and has made MANY reappearances in the television show, to the point where he is now considered a series regular. With each new appearance, his personality has become a little less wicked, and more anti-heroic: he’s another character who really does want to be useful, but he’s so caught up in his pride that he constantly fails. But unlike Gordon, James, Duncan, and other such characters, Diesel tends to be a bit more nasty and cruel, and INTENDS to be. He’s been involved in things that really are outright evil, and caused a lot of misery. He’s cunning, slimy, and manipulative; a sort of railway-running snake in the grass. He can be vicious and despicable; he earns the title of “Devious Diesel” very well. A classic villain for a classic kids’ show, but with a little more complexity than most, Diesel will always be my favorite baddy from this franchise.

3. Toby the Tram Engine.
Toby is an old-fashioned, chocolate-colored steam tram engine, with a little golden bell on the top of his cab, who used to run on an old tramway near Arlesdale End. He was really the only engine working there, aided by his beloved old coach, Henrietta. Tragically, much like with Duke, as time went on, the line lost business. Before it closed, Toby encountered a “stout gentleman” who seemed to have a passion for railroads and train engines, and the two became fond of each other. Just as Toby’s line was about to close, and Toby was to be shut away, possibly never seen again, the stout gentleman - who was, of course, the Fat Controller - turned out to need a tram engine to help on Thomas’ Branch Line, and bought Toby, saving him from destruction and/or obscurity. Toby is a bit of a paradox. In some ways, like Edward or the aforementioned Duke, he’s a sort of wise and sagely character...but while his engine TYPE is certainly old-fashioned, Toby never really acts like either of these two. He’s actually fairly young, in terms of his personality! He’s got a fairly mischievous spark in his soul, and likes to have fun. Unlike Edward, who tends to take things in his stride, he can get cross, and even act a little petulantly. However, unlike Duke, he’s never scolding or even a bit stuck-up...he rarely seems to act like a mentor, either. He gets along very well with Thomas & Percy, but never treats anyone on Sodor like they’re his superiors or inferiors (except, of course, Sir Topham Hatt): he seems to feel everyone is equal, and he’s just “one of the family,” nothing more nor less. And, perhaps surprisingly, it’s that mild-mannered nature that makes Toby so interesting. He’s simply not as old as he seems, but neither is he as young as he acts. It’s the dichotomy of Toby that makes him so much fun to watch, because even though he’s an old engine, he’s also a young engine, and that’s an oxymoron that’s always interesting to play with. It also makes him one of the most versatile engines, in terms of story options, since his experience can come in handy, but his age can also be something he has to overcome. Whichever way you look at him, Toby is a timeless character who once again proves the old saying, “oldy but goldy.”

2. Percy the Small Engine.
Arguably Thomas’ best friend, Percy is a round little saddle-tank engine with green, red-striped paint (not unlike Henry). After Thomas earned his famous branch line, Henry, Gordon, and James started causing trouble due to their need to fetch their own coaches and trucks. Edward tried to help out, but it was still a lot of work, and the teasing from the three big engines didn’t help. So, the Fat Controller bought Percy to help out, first on the main line, then on Thomas’ Branch Line. Percy is a virtual ball of energy; he’s naive and filled with enthusiasm. He can be a bit of a prankster at times, but he can also be a regular nervous nancy - very panicky and practically afraid of his own shadow. He’s incredibly superstitious, and a little bit on the gullible side. He can take things very literally, and generally acts like a little kid. He seems to be the absolute youngest of all the engines on the North Western Railway, and that youth comes with all its flaws and its virtues. He’s caring and sweet, but also likes getting attention and having fun. Percy also, in my opinion, probably tries harder than ANY other engine on the island. He has to! The other engines tend to pile work up on Percy, so he’s constantly running all over the place. And while it would be a lie to say he never complains, he usually tries to have fun while he’s working. His favorite job, and essentially his signature train, is pulling the Night Mail, and the mail train scenes in the television series are often some of the most beautifully atmospheric nighttime scenes put to the small screen. He’s clever, yet a little slow; a hard worker, yet a fun-loving child...he is, simply put, one of the funniest characters on the show, and always lends himself to amusing scenarios and stories.

But there is one Really Useful Engine I like more than all the rest.

1. Thomas the Tank Engine.
Yep. The blue boy himself. It’s probably a cliche to put Thomas as the number one on this list; he’s a major character in the Railway Series, and arguably the main character (and certainly the title character) in the television show. He gets more attention than perhaps any other character in the franchise; there are even some cases in the T.V. series where a story that didn’t have Thomas included him, anyway, because he was so popular! So, being more or less the mascot for the entire franchise, he definitely has some strong points. He’s got a strong personality, too: he’s childish, yet he can have mature moments; he’s got a bit of an ego, but not as much as the Big Engines or Diesel. Sometimes he’s the hero saving the day, other times he’s the troublemaker who needs to be taught a lesson, and sometimes he’s neither. He’s just a friendly face to help pull things through. All of these are good things, but I think it’s personal nostalgia that puts Thomas at number one for me. As much as I love all these characters, even as a kid, I was always the happiest when Thomas popped up. Even as a kid, it was Thomas I wanted first when I went searching for toys. Even as a kid, it was Thomas I thought of when I saw a train, no matter what KIND of train it was. And even as a kid, it was Thomas I turned to when I felt sad or scared. Not big, strong Gordon; not wise and sagely Edward; certainly not those psychos the Troublesome Trucks. It was Thomas. Thomas the Tank Engine was always there when I needed a friend, and no one else was around. And I will love and thank him forever for that. It’s a no-brainer that puts this Really Useful Engine right at the top of this list.

Honorable Mentions Include…
Salty the Dockyard Diesel.
Another character original to the television series. Salty made his first appearance when I was nearing the end of my childhood-long love affair with Thomas, so there isn’t quite as much of a “nostalgia factor” for him as there is for a lot of other characters on this list. Still, as far as the original characters for the show go, he’s a lot of fun! This friendly diesel engine loves the sea, and essentially acts like your stereotypical sailor. He likes to sing old sea shanties, tell stories about his adventures on the docks, and speaks with that ol’ Cockney sailor’s dialect, complete with exclamations of “Arrrr!” When he first came to Sodor, Salty was actually assigned to work at a quarry alongside Bill, Ben, & another diesel named Mavis. Even though he would much rather have been by the sea, and constantly longed to be back at the docks, he faithfully did the work, and even tried to teach Bill & Ben how to handle the trucks, who surprisingly not only listened to Salty, but really LIKED the new diesel! This was because Salty loves to sing and play games, and as nutty as the trucks are, those are things they like too! He didn’t try to shove them around or force them, he simply roped them in with music and fun, and they followed him merrily! And for his skill with the Troublesome Trucks, he was finally allowed to go work at Brendam Docks, where he truly yearned to be...and in my book, any engine who can handle the Troublesome Trucks definitely deserves notice.

Lord Harry.
All right, since I’ve already given two mentions to characters original to the T.V. canon (one being Salty, the other being Diesel 10), it is only fair I give mention to a character original to the Railway Series books. Lord Harry is one of the main protagonists of “Mountain Engines,” one of the last books written by the Reverend W. Awdry, and also one of my personal favorites. It’s always bugged me that this story never got adapted for T.V. (Hopefully, that will someday change.) Lord Harry was a mountain engine for the Culdee Fell railway. He was reckless; a conceited thrill-seeker who liked to go too fast and rode too roughly. He never considered the dangers of travelling on the slopes of a mountain. At the summit, on some points near the station, he came off the rails, and blocked off both tracks. Accidents on a Mountain Railway are arguably especially dangerous, so, as punishment, his name was taken away, and he was ordered to be in charge of a train simply called “The Truck,” which brought supplies and workmen around. Lord Harry got a chance to prove himself when a climbing accident meant he had to climb the steepest slope of the railway, “Devil’s Back,” in the middle of a freezing, fearsome windstorm. He survived the gale, saved the climbers, and for his efforts, was given a new name, “Patrick.” This was an interesting character: someone who went from taking risks just because he wanted to, to someone who had to take risks to save others. It’s a neat little character arc, and it made Lord Harry/Patrick one of my favorite characters from the books. Here’s hoping he and the rest of the Mountain Engines get to make an appearance on T.V. in the near future.

Other Honorable Mentions Include…
Emily.
Caroline.
George the Steamroller.
Terence the Tractor.
Bulgy the Double-Decker Bus.
Elizabeth the Vintage Steam Lorry.

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10. Duncan.
It is perhaps ironic that Duncan is my favorite of the Narrow Gauge engines, because he’s probably the nastiest of the lot. He is basically the polar opposite of Rusty: a rough riding tank engine who tends to “rock-’n’-roll” along the line, he is selfish, bad-tempered, and in his own words, “a plain, blunt engine.” Duncan is one of those people who “loves having a grievance;” someone who likes to complain and mock people. He’s basically a railroading troll. Like most “trolls,” however, Duncan’s attitude comes from a somewhat insecure place. He does WANT to be useful (most of the time), and when he makes a mistake, he does LEARN from it...it’s just a sure-fire bet that he’ll make another mistake in no time at all. Being the polar opposite of Rusty, he and the little diesel have a rather...strained relationship. They are essentially “frienemies;” two characters who constantly disagree, but at the end of the day, they still care about each other. Rusty is always there to help Duncan out when he gets into trouble, and Duncan is always thankful when he does...but even so, it’s more than likely they’ll be having another argument within minutes. (In Rusty’s defense, Duncan always starts it.) I think I like watching Duncan because of that softer side of his character: seeing this angry, argumentative nutcase constantly eat crow and show his true colors is a classic set-up, and he does still have a good heart underneath it all.

9. Donald & Douglas the Scottish Twin Engines.
If you slapped Bill & Ben and Edward together and put them in a blender...you’d find that physically impossible and dangerous, since they are steam trains, but you’d also probably end up with Donald & Douglas. Like Bill & Ben, these twins tend to be a bit mischievous and have a strong sibling rivalry…but unlike Bill & Ben, these two rarely cause trouble with their hijinks. Actually, most of their jokes and pranks are the result of trying to show people up who DO cause trouble. They are also some of the strongest engines on the island, and they know it. In a famous scene from the books (sadly not found in the television show), the twins heard Gordon & Henry making fun of their deep-toned whistles, and sidled up alongside them. With very few words, and no physical contact at all, they put the two engines in their place. These two are AWESOME. Sometimes their strength is their downfall, however, as they sometimes forget just how strong they are...and when they lose control in some way, that can cause a lot of problems. They are always contrite, and always ready to help, but they like to have fun and never take things TOO seriously. (Duncan could probably learn a fair amount from these two.)

8. Henry the Green Engine.
Henry is a member of what I like to call “The Big Engine Trio” on the North Western Railway. And this trio takes up my eighth, seventh, and sixth places, so we’ll talk about each one individually, one at a time. Henry, like the other “big engines,” can be vain and a little spoiled from time to time. He’s very proud of his lovely green paint with red stripes, and is also a sort of “thoroughbred” engine. His pomposity is frequently punctured, and, of all three big engines, he’s probably the least egotistical of the lot. (Heck, on many occasions, he’s showed the other two up for their own egotism!) He’s also a lover of nature, as he likes to take scenic routes through the forest. This is perhaps ironic, because Henry, being a thoroughbred engine, is constantly sickly. He is incredibly strong on his best days, able to pull all sorts of loads and long trains with great ease, from the Flying Kipper to the Express, but he has a lot of mechanical issues that can foul him up at exactly the wrong moment, causing all sorts of issues. (As someone with perhaps the worst allergies this side of the globe, I sympathize deeply.) Still, he’s never an annoying character, and even on his worst days, he tries his hardest; indeed, the pride he DOES have, one could argue, comes from an understandable place when you put his strength and his frailty together, even if he does on occasion get too big for his britches. Besides, he’s nothing compared to the other two…

7. Gordon the Big Engine.
It was hard to choose between Gordon and James (more on him later), because, in a way, both are rather similar. Gordon, like James, is immensely egotistical; he’s proud of his speed, his strength, his size, his paint job, the kind of work he can do, and he flaunts it constantly. He’s constantly trying to act like he knows what’s best, and can be more than a little stubborn and condescending. However, I think it comes from a different place, compared to James. James gets angry when he fails somebody, and boastful when he pleases them. Gordon doesn’t seem to care who he pleases or fails, since he has deliberately caused trouble on more than one occasion. I think in Gordon’s case, it comes out of a different world: a feeling of responsibility. He constantly tries to take a leadership position; if engine’s had chests to puff out, his would always be held high, even when he fails. Even though he can be arrogant and even a little cold, he’s got a jolly sort of sense of humor, and while James tries to help others through actions, Gordon tries to do so through words. Even if he is frequently misguided, he’s constantly trying to advise the other engines and give them tips on how to be even better. The only problem? His definition of “better” is pretty self-centered. Still, he’s not serious one hundred percent of the time, it all does come from a well-meaning place, and he is once again a classic case of an engine too big for their buffers, who ends up eating the proverbial crow, and has to learn from their mistakes...and in Gordon’s case, the old saying does apply: “the bigger they are, the harder they fall.” Wise yet foolish, strong yet bungling, fast yet careless, Gordon is a powerhouse in every sense of the word, and I will always love him, no matter how badly he messes up.

6. James the Red Engine.
Vanity, thy name is James. Originally, I placed Gordon higher, but on reflection, I felt I really preferred James. The junior member of the “Big Engine Trio,” this bright red mixed traffic engine is probably the MOST egotistical of the three, in contrast to Henry. James is extremely proud of his splendid red coat, and of his skills as an engine. This isn’t a bad thing, but, Good Lord, he can’t stop talking about how bloody amazing he is! The slightest congratulation will have James soaring over the moon, boasting left and right about how he’s the best there ever was. He loves to brag and tell fantastic stories about himself, and tends to sneer and scoff at smaller engines for being useless and annoying, and at the bigger engines for being dumb lugs. (Both of which are obviously not true.) In a way, James is a sort of unlikeable character. Yet, even today, I think he’s one of the most popular characters in the franchise. So, why do I love James? Why do we all love James? I think it’s because James is one of those classic selfish twerps whose sense of self-righteousness comes from a very vulnerable place. He’s not evil, he’s basically just a big, attention-seeking child who loves to play the hero! He’s not trying to be nasty or cruel, he just doesn’t like having the spotlight stolen, and he genuinely likes making people happy! Much of his anger, in many cases, is self-incriminating: he’s mad because he’s disappointed the Fat Controller, or somebody else, not so much because no one said they liked him. It’s just that when he does get praise, he gets so excited about it that he can’t bloody shut his mouth! And I think everyone can relate to that: loving the limelight and the feeling that comes when you please somebody. So, even if he is a constant pain, we can find James funny and likeable no matter how often he tries to play king of the rails...and the fact he has to eat crow just about every time he gets too tough for his tender probably helps too. Ha Ha.

5. The Troublesome Trucks.
So this isn’t one character, or a pair of characters, so much as a large group of characters. The freight wagons all over Sodor are frequently depicted as...well...the series calls them “foolish,” and “troublesome,” and “silly,” but I, personally, like to think of them as [BLEEP]ING INSANE! Seriously! Am I the only one who thinks these bloody trucks are completely barking mad?! Do they have truck-shaped straitjackets on Sodor?! Are their railway psychiatrists who can see what’s going on in these self-destructive, giggling demons of CHAOS?! I sincerely hope not, because if there are, WHY HASN’T THE FAT CONTROLLER CALLED SOMEONE IN TO LOOK THEM OVER?! These trucks are friggin’ NUTS! Considering the fact that these wagons are supposed to be the means by which supplies are shipped out all over the place, they cause more problems than they are worth! They push trains down hills, knock them off the rails, break off and become runaways, stall and hold them back at the worst possible moments, and they LOVE doing it! They don’t just love causing trouble, they love causing LITERAL TRAIN WRECKS, laughing like little railroad Renfields all the while! Sometimes they do it because they were provoked, but most of the time they just do it for the heck of it! It’s a good thing that the humans in this world are quick to react, because otherwise, I don’t know how many innocent lives would be lost to these blood-hungry maniacs-on-wheels! In fact, the only time they seem to regret their actions is immediately before THEY ARE SMASHED TO SMITHEREENS! They’re like railway lemmings jumping off cliffs of foolery! When I said this show had a dangerous edge, THESE cackling lunatics were the primary reason why. This isn’t just harmless mischief, or even funny stupidity, this is some sort of weird mental issue, I’m sure of it! Then again, it’s that same craziness that makes me like the Troublesome Trucks. Annoying and dangerous to the engines of the island, and a LOT of fun to watch for their general wackiness and bleeped-up mental cases, the Troublesome Trucks are an often underrated group on the Island of Sodor. And no matter how badly they ALL need to see a doctor, I will always enjoy the thrills and chills they provide through their deranged shenanigans.

4. Devious Diesel.
Also simply called “Diesel.” (How inventive.) This guy was the first diesel engine the North Western Railway ever encountered, and he pretty much set the stage for all the evil diesels that would follow him. In his initial appearance in the book “Duck & the Diesel Engine” (and the television adaption of the stories therein), Diesel was basically your typical moustache-twirling villain. (But without a moustache...or the ability to twirl it.) With a voice described as “oily” and “purring,” he was a sophisticated and manipulative villain, filled with spite, who enjoyed stirring up trouble for anybody who caused him the slightest grief. Unforgiving, never forgetting, he wanted to prove that diesel power was better than steam power, and would stop at nothing to become the superior engine. He ultimately was found out and sent packing...but it wouldn’t be the last time his devious smirk would slither into Sodor. He would make reappearances once or twice in the books, and has made MANY reappearances in the television show, to the point where he is now considered a series regular. With each new appearance, his personality has become a little less wicked, and more anti-heroic: he’s another character who really does want to be useful, but he’s so caught up in his pride that he constantly fails. But unlike Gordon, James, Duncan, and other such characters, Diesel tends to be a bit more nasty and cruel, and INTENDS to be. He’s been involved in things that really are outright evil, and caused a lot of misery. He’s cunning, slimy, and manipulative; a sort of railway-running snake in the grass. He can be vicious and despicable; he earns the title of “Devious Diesel” very well. A classic villain for a classic kids’ show, but with a little more complexity than most, Diesel will always be my favorite baddy from this franchise.

3. Toby the Tram Engine.
Toby is an old-fashioned, chocolate-colored steam tram engine, with a little golden bell on the top of his cab, who used to run on an old tramway near Arlesdale End. He was really the only engine working there, aided by his beloved old coach, Henrietta. Tragically, much like with Duke, as time went on, the line lost business. Before it closed, Toby encountered a “stout gentleman” who seemed to have a passion for railroads and train engines, and the two became fond of each other. Just as Toby’s line was about to close, and Toby was to be shut away, possibly never seen again, the stout gentleman - who was, of course, the Fat Controller - turned out to need a tram engine to help on Thomas’ Branch Line, and bought Toby, saving him from destruction and/or obscurity. Toby is a bit of a paradox. In some ways, like Edward or the aforementioned Duke, he’s a sort of wise and sagely character...but while his engine TYPE is certainly old-fashioned, Toby never really acts like either of these two. He’s actually fairly young, in terms of his personality! He’s got a fairly mischievous spark in his soul, and likes to have fun. Unlike Edward, who tends to take things in his stride, he can get cross, and even act a little petulantly. However, unlike Duke, he’s never scolding or even a bit stuck-up...he rarely seems to act like a mentor, either. He gets along very well with Thomas & Percy, but never treats anyone on Sodor like they’re his superiors or inferiors (except, of course, Sir Topham Hatt): he seems to feel everyone is equal, and he’s just “one of the family,” nothing more nor less. And, perhaps surprisingly, it’s that mild-mannered nature that makes Toby so interesting. He’s simply not as old as he seems, but neither is he as young as he acts. It’s the dichotomy of Toby that makes him so much fun to watch, because even though he’s an old engine, he’s also a young engine, and that’s an oxymoron that’s always interesting to play with. It also makes him one of the most versatile engines, in terms of story options, since his experience can come in handy, but his age can also be something he has to overcome. Whichever way you look at him, Toby is a timeless character who once again proves the old saying, “oldy but goldy.”

2. Percy the Small Engine.
Arguably Thomas’ best friend, Percy is a round little saddle-tank engine with green, red-striped paint (not unlike Henry). After Thomas earned his famous branch line, Henry, Gordon, and James started causing trouble due to their need to fetch their own coaches and trucks. Edward tried to help out, but it was still a lot of work, and the teasing from the three big engines didn’t help. So, the Fat Controller bought Percy to help out, first on the main line, then on Thomas’ Branch Line. Percy is a virtual ball of energy; he’s naive and filled with enthusiasm. He can be a bit of a prankster at times, but he can also be a regular nervous nancy - very panicky and practically afraid of his own shadow. He’s incredibly superstitious, and a little bit on the gullible side. He can take things very literally, and generally acts like a little kid. He seems to be the absolute youngest of all the engines on the North Western Railway, and that youth comes with all its flaws and its virtues. He’s caring and sweet, but also likes getting attention and having fun. Percy also, in my opinion, probably tries harder than ANY other engine on the island. He has to! The other engines tend to pile work up on Percy, so he’s constantly running all over the place. And while it would be a lie to say he never complains, he usually tries to have fun while he’s working. His favorite job, and essentially his signature train, is pulling the Night Mail, and the mail train scenes in the television series are often some of the most beautifully atmospheric nighttime scenes put to the small screen. He’s clever, yet a little slow; a hard worker, yet a fun-loving child...he is, simply put, one of the funniest characters on the show, and always lends himself to amusing scenarios and stories.

But there is one Really Useful Engine I like more than all the rest.

1. Thomas the Tank Engine.
Yep. The blue boy himself. It’s probably a cliche to put Thomas as the number one on this list; he’s a major character in the Railway Series, and arguably the main character (and certainly the title character) in the television show. He gets more attention than perhaps any other character in the franchise; there are even some cases in the T.V. series where a story that didn’t have Thomas included him, anyway, because he was so popular! So, being more or less the mascot for the entire franchise, he definitely has some strong points. He’s got a strong personality, too: he’s childish, yet he can have mature moments; he’s got a bit of an ego, but not as much as the Big Engines or Diesel. Sometimes he’s the hero saving the day, other times he’s the troublemaker who needs to be taught a lesson, and sometimes he’s neither. He’s just a friendly face to help pull things through. All of these are good things, but I think it’s personal nostalgia that puts Thomas at number one for me. As much as I love all these characters, even as a kid, I was always the happiest when Thomas popped up. Even as a kid, it was Thomas I wanted first when I went searching for toys. Even as a kid, it was Thomas I thought of when I saw a train, no matter what KIND of train it was. And even as a kid, it was Thomas I turned to when I felt sad or scared. Not big, strong Gordon; not wise and sagely Edward; certainly not those psychos the Troublesome Trucks. It was Thomas. Thomas the Tank Engine was always there when I needed a friend, and no one else was around. And I will love and thank him forever for that. It’s a no-brainer that puts this Really Useful Engine right at the top of this list.

Honorable Mentions Include…
Salty the Dockyard Diesel.
Another character original to the television series. Salty made his first appearance when I was nearing the end of my childhood-long love affair with Thomas, so there isn’t quite as much of a “nostalgia factor” for him as there is for a lot of other characters on this list. Still, as far as the original characters for the show go, he’s a lot of fun! This friendly diesel engine loves the sea, and essentially acts like your stereotypical sailor. He likes to sing old sea shanties, tell stories about his adventures on the docks, and speaks with that ol’ Cockney sailor’s dialect, complete with exclamations of “Arrrr!” When he first came to Sodor, Salty was actually assigned to work at a quarry alongside Bill, Ben, & another diesel named Mavis. Even though he would much rather have been by the sea, and constantly longed to be back at the docks, he faithfully did the work, and even tried to teach Bill & Ben how to handle the trucks, who surprisingly not only listened to Salty, but really LIKED the new diesel! This was because Salty loves to sing and play games, and as nutty as the trucks are, those are things they like too! He didn’t try to shove them around or force them, he simply roped them in with music and fun, and they followed him merrily! And for his skill with the Troublesome Trucks, he was finally allowed to go work at Brendam Docks, where he truly yearned to be...and in my book, any engine who can handle the Troublesome Trucks definitely deserves notice.

Lord Harry.
All right, since I’ve already given two mentions to characters original to the T.V. canon (one being Salty, the other being Diesel 10), it is only fair I give mention to a character original to the Railway Series books. Lord Harry is one of the main protagonists of “Mountain Engines,” one of the last books written by the Reverend W. Awdry, and also one of my personal favorites. It’s always bugged me that this story never got adapted for T.V. (Hopefully, that will someday change.) Lord Harry was a mountain engine for the Culdee Fell railway. He was reckless; a conceited thrill-seeker who liked to go too fast and rode too roughly. He never considered the dangers of travelling on the slopes of a mountain. At the summit, on some points near the station, he came off the rails, and blocked off both tracks. Accidents on a Mountain Railway are arguably especially dangerous, so, as punishment, his name was taken away, and he was ordered to be in charge of a train simply called “The Truck,” which brought supplies and workmen around. Lord Harry got a chance to prove himself when a climbing accident meant he had to climb the steepest slope of the railway, “Devil’s Back,” in the middle of a freezing, fearsome windstorm. He survived the gale, saved the climbers, and for his efforts, was given a new name, “Patrick.” This was an interesting character: someone who went from taking risks just because he wanted to, to someone who had to take risks to save others. It’s a neat little character arc, and it made Lord Harry/Patrick one of my favorite characters from the books. Here’s hoping he and the rest of the Mountain Engines get to make an appearance on T.V. in the near future.

Other Honorable Mentions Include…
Emily.
Caroline.
George the Steamroller.
Terence the Tractor.
Bulgy the Double-Decker Bus.
Elizabeth the Vintage Steam Lorry.