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jollyjack — Bell$ and Whi$tle$
Published: 2013-06-11 07:14:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 18352; Favourites: 52; Downloads: 0
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You remember when mobile phones used to just do one thing: be a phone? Then they could text. Then they could take photos. Then they could connect to the internet.
People pay hundreds for the latest iPhone, which does a ton of things on top of being a phone, and which is why I DON'T OWN ONE!
I carry a phone because I might need to make a call.
Don't think that I'm some sort of Luddite that takes offence at all the bells and whistles they bolt onto the little boxes. I'm not. I just have no use for them, and so, I don't want to pay for them.
I can go into my local phone emporium and pick up a device that is a phone and only a phone for £19.99 (or even less!). No camera, no internet access, just a crappy little green screen that displays a number.
It's a phone, nothing more.

Which brings me to the next generation of consoles.
As far back as I have desired them, they have cost around the £100 – £200 mark at launch, even when they started doing things they didn't need to, like play DVDs/Blue Ray.
I bought them to play games. That's it. It doesn't need access to social networks. It doesn't need a camera. It doesn't need to play movies or TV series. The only reason I ever hooked my 360 up to Xbox Live was so I could play Team Fortress 2 (Halo fans: this is what a real multiplayer shooter looks like).
Next gen consoles will do all of that, whether we like it or not. And you'll be paying for it.

Xbox One: £429
PS4: £349

F**k. That.

I want to play games on my games console. That's all. I'll obviously need to get on-line with the thing to patch all the shoddy, incomplete software that'll be released onto it, but beyond that, I just want to play games. I do not want bells and whistles on my hardware, so I'm sure as sh*t not going to pay for them.

In my eyes, the PS4 appears the more desirable unit. It's cheaper, you can play second-hand games on it without issue and all my favourite game franchises are released on all platforms, but there's still no way I'm buying one at launch. They rush these things, now. In the past, they used to take their time and iron out the kinks. Now they're caught up in the panic that they might not hit the shelves before or at the same time as their rivals. With such insanely complex tech and supporting systems, that makes devastating flaws more likely to surface.

The console on my "to buy" list for 2013 is probably….the SNES.
Never owned one. I was a SEGA fanboy in the 90s, back when every console had its own unique roster of games, so there's a swathe of titles I've never played.
Yeah. I think I'll get a SNES, because retro-gaming has never looked more appealing.

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Comments: 273

TheVanguardKing [2013-10-18 00:47:29 +0000 UTC]

I would get more use out of a palm pilot than a phone.

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JMiera [2013-07-05 19:48:36 +0000 UTC]

The PS4 will come out and I'll be buying a PS3. The library is good and I've never owned one. Also, I agree with you about phones.

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Schizo555 [2013-07-04 20:11:07 +0000 UTC]

It took me a while to get around to buying a smart phone. Same thing with a regular iPod a few years before that. If there's been a problem with those sorts of devices bricking thanks to outdated apps and such, I haven't experienced it. The battery life issue can be problematic, but only if I use it a certain way, and as for dropping it, I got a padded casing around it for just that reason. I won't be dropping money on a new one until the old one is absolutely unusable, and I have no reason to believe it won't last for at least one more year.

I'm not even going to bother with new consoles this time. I barely play games as it is. I have my old PS2, my favorite console ever, I just got a used PS3 for cheap, and most of all, there's Steam, GOG.com, and my laptop.

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Afrodisium [2013-07-01 19:18:48 +0000 UTC]

Funny you should mention the smart phone craze. Just this morning I was telling a coworker that I now only do three things with my phone. Make calls, read text messages, and listen to my MP3s which are stored on a 32GB SD card, not in the cloud. Anything else is a major battery drain anyway. All those apps and games and things? I play them on the Kindle. Better battery life, bigger screen.

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Kasdren [2013-06-26 20:24:49 +0000 UTC]

With any more bells and whistles on these and future consoles, you might as well call them next gen computers...

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Cyber-X-Frog [2013-06-24 01:08:40 +0000 UTC]

lol ,wait make that ROFL. 1st i own a xbox 360 that's all i use, that's all i will use.
i don't even have a kentic for it ,don't want it, don't need it.
2nd m$ is losing the plot. serzly, windows 8 is updated to 8.1
and even still i just barely upgraded to windows 7.
my phone does alot for me,that is a lot of stuff while im sleeping. i use the WiFi during the night,streaming from my isp's free music list (unmetered content) but in the morning my phone proudly tells me "look what i did while you slept" im surprised it hasn't tried to stabbed me yet!
technology is good but old school is still the best.

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Danifox [2013-06-18 14:55:02 +0000 UTC]

Amen to that

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BullDan [2013-06-17 23:06:49 +0000 UTC]

Didja see the trailer for the next Halo game? I bet you're REALLY excited about that huh ^_^ JK.

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The-Quill-Warrior [2013-06-17 15:28:37 +0000 UTC]

To be fair, back in the fourth generation, or any other generation, any games company would be worried about getting their console to launch before their opponents.
But I will admit, games companies nowadays do seem to be just trying to be too trendy rather than focus on the consoles having good games.

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Robert-UK [2013-06-17 11:48:06 +0000 UTC]

I bought a Wii U at launch and I havente regretted it since. No DRM bullshit, a virtual console selling classic games, the ability to play said games while watching Game of Thrones, I honestly coundlt be happier.

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sharkbyte3827 [2013-06-16 14:52:04 +0000 UTC]

Also, you wouldn't happen to know where I could buy an old Candle Stick phone, would ya? it may not be a mobile, but it's pretty sexy and kick ass.

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sharkbyte3827 [2013-06-16 14:51:25 +0000 UTC]

Deep down I wish I got the SNES in the 90s. But back then I was really into playing Sonic the hedgehog and Earth Worm Jim. At least my Cousin had an SNES.

But yeah man I agree, everything is getting tripped out wit hall the latest greatest stuff. I don't even play on my 360 anymore, I just use it for netflix and play games on my computer. If I'm going to get any games it will be on my DS or the Wii. Because Nintendo, that's why.

I can foresee the XBone having a similar launch effect that the PS 3 had when news of its blueray feature was announced. So expect to see an XBone on eBay and probably Amazon for +100 - +1000 more on the original mark. And big fat sweaty guys in their sweat shirts waiting in line start rioting.

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Marcusaralius76 [2013-06-16 14:50:27 +0000 UTC]

they always keep the prices ultra high at launch so the "must-haves" will pay for it. They call it, "skimming the fat off the top."

Also, I bought an original Xbox for $20, a PS3 for $50, and a PS1 for $10. i'm all set for this console generation.

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Almoon [2013-06-16 08:13:43 +0000 UTC]

My goal most likely this year is to collect PS1, PS2 and PS3 games... among other things... whee

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Rianq [2013-06-15 08:31:03 +0000 UTC]

Original launch price of the PSX: 299$ ([link]
Original launch price of the Sega Saturn: 399$ ([link]
Original european launch price of the original Xbox: 479€ ([link]

Since they always (and unfairly) translate those prices to Euro number by number, today that would be the same figures for PSX and Sega Saturn in Euros and very likely be the same prices the Xbone and PS4 will be sold for in pounds later this year.

You can argue all you want how you can't freely trade your games anymore or lend them to friends, but historically, those price tags aren't that far out there. Or is it just possible that the UK has finally been dragged into the same bullshit price translation hole where the rest of the continent has been for over a decade?

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talinuva [2013-06-15 06:55:24 +0000 UTC]

Almost same as you with the phone thing.(I use the texting's drafts section as a Notepad and the camera for things too long to type in)

Haven't had a hook-up-to-your-tv console since the NES.

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RennisTora [2013-06-15 03:33:32 +0000 UTC]

I recommend getting one of the multi systems that are made now by third parties for playing NES/SNES/Genesis games, I got one some years back and it works fine, probably cheaper than trying to get an original SNES too.

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ShawnLeroy [2013-06-15 01:22:33 +0000 UTC]

Ok, maybe someone who is a bigger gamer than me can answer this, and it is technically relevant to your rant...

Why is the new XBox called Xbox one? Isn't one the number that comes at the beginning? Ok, maybe 0 does. It depends on your way of thinking, I guess. Well, usually we put 'one' in the name of the original. My friends and I laughed when they made the 360, because 360 degrees is full circle, so they really didn't go anywhere... ha... ha... yeah, it was funny at one time, at least. XBox One? This is the Nintendo Wii all over again! Why the stupid/hilarious names, guys? Someone enlighten me, for I am an unadvanced Neanderthal.

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jollyjack In reply to ShawnLeroy [2013-06-15 06:46:44 +0000 UTC]

There's no doubt some pretentious marketing reason behind it.
I can just imagine an untalented, over-paid (and unrequired) agent reasoning that "We're calling it XBox one, because it's the one and only media device you'll ever need!"

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ShawnLeroy In reply to jollyjack [2013-06-17 22:35:42 +0000 UTC]

That's a good point. The nerve of them! Haha!
Now that you put it that way, the name makes more sense. But it still bugs me for some reason. I don't know. Maybe it's bitterness.
When we can start carrying it around in our pockets and taking it out to call someone, I'll throw all of my gadgets away and buy "one".

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Marcusaralius76 In reply to jollyjack [2013-06-16 14:51:41 +0000 UTC]

Actually, that IS the reason they named it the Xbox One.

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Timekeeper9 [2013-06-14 18:24:22 +0000 UTC]

Has bells, but I've yet to hear it whistle. [link]

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Mazinja [2013-06-14 16:52:57 +0000 UTC]

Heh. I enjoy my iPhone, if anything because I get bored easily and can whip it out and play games to kill time (And its less obvious than, say, a DS).

As for next gen... if I get anything, it'll be a PS4. The Xbone, with its required connectivity thing would be bad enough, and then they announced supported countries... and mine is not on the list. Which is hilarious because we have a Xbox Live here for the 360

... Is it weird that my first 360 never broke down, and I only decided to change it because I was tired of having a tiny, tiny hard drive?

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TheGutterBunny [2013-06-14 06:24:58 +0000 UTC]

Yes, a SNES would be a wise decision. It is my favorite video game console of all time and it has a grand number of wonderful games on it.

Might I suggest Super Metroid?

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Parrybrown [2013-06-14 02:38:16 +0000 UTC]

I have a phone (which I barely even use); (Pocket)Tablet/Mp3 player, so I can listen to music not on the computer/internet or as a really good video player when I have it hooked up on the WiFi; (shitty)Computers, multiples, cause they have problems every-once-and-awhile; and a Xbox for console gaming, oh, and a Wii because I was interested in it awhile ago

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RabidElf [2013-06-14 00:57:01 +0000 UTC]

Well said sir.

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Crossforge [2013-06-13 21:56:27 +0000 UTC]

I'm not bothered by all the bells and whistles a consul might provide. I am bothered that Microsoft's media hub approach though. Honestly plugging the damn thing in to a TV so I can watch tv is retarded. Especially when I have to do that with the cable box anyway, and that already provides me with things like on Demand when I don't feel like watching a show at it's appointed time.

And since this won't replace the cable box, the whole thing sounds pretty pointless and annoying. Sports fans don't want stats scrolling by as they watch the game, they want to watch the game. And Skype? Yeah that's what I want, to be answering skype messages when I'm busy watching something.

Let's face it as much as Microsoft would like to be your all in one media hub, it's just not going to happen, not without the support of various cable companies to back it.

I'm not in a real rush to join the next gen anyway, I never am, I prefer to wait for that killer game that makes me want to do so, Like Fallout 3 did for me for this current Gen. Right now, I'm not seeing it, but then I still have to watch Sony's press conference, which I plan to download of the PSN when I get the chance.

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HourglassOfSouls [2013-06-13 21:25:08 +0000 UTC]

I'd love to get some of the classic consoles, though I have too many little ones running around for those consoles to be safe.

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CoolCat0001 [2013-06-13 20:49:58 +0000 UTC]

Right!, Soon I will be buying an Atari 2800 again, then I will buy a another Super Nintendo.

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aquaticmind [2013-06-13 19:41:50 +0000 UTC]

Might I suggest the Megaman X Series and Super Mario RPG Good sir?

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Philbrush [2013-06-13 04:36:37 +0000 UTC]

SNES is fantastic!!!

So, here in Aus the PS4 is looking at about $550. In UK it's 349 pounds. US is $399...current exchange rates convert the US price to around 250 pounds and $368 AUD...why do these machines cost so much more in the PAL regions. Even converting the UK price to AUD is still around one hundred bucks cheaper than what we will be paying...seriously, this is the biggest issue with gaming...then comes that fact that these machines should just play games!

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lysandros [2013-06-13 01:55:32 +0000 UTC]

I'm definitely a Luddite (my phone might be able to connect to the net, but it's always been too much of a bother for me). I'm still getting good mileage out of my little brother's PS3. And I prefer TTGs, TTRPGs and board games.

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RocMegamanX In reply to lysandros [2013-06-13 05:20:53 +0000 UTC]

If you're a Luddite, then, how are you using the Internet in the first place?

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lysandros In reply to RocMegamanX [2013-06-14 16:40:42 +0000 UTC]

Force of will and bamboo (also creative borrowing of my neighbor's laptop when he's not around).

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SherbertTCat [2013-06-12 21:54:05 +0000 UTC]

You never owned an SNES? No wonder you're such a sour person.

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FrankieDove64 [2013-06-12 15:38:45 +0000 UTC]

Feckin' preach. Man, buy that SNES.....and enjoy. Just..........enjoy.

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goldenavatar [2013-06-12 15:31:18 +0000 UTC]

Hmm... So I take it the Ouya would be more your speed.

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tigerstorms [2013-06-12 15:27:00 +0000 UTC]

don't you remember back in the day when phones weren't even phones, they hardly worked and you had to carry around a huge... oh yea I remember those days as if it were only 15 years ago or something how about how fact information moves back in high school only 10 years ago we had to go to library or ask our parents for answers, no people Google shit on their phones where ever they go.

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Ohmnastrum [2013-06-12 14:23:21 +0000 UTC]

I loved handheld games forever they were so much fun, and I liked my cell phone so a handheld game + phone makes me happy.

ps4 sounds like a better choice, but I feel like its because microsoft did a horrible job with it's PR.
They're both basically locked down computers(In their own ways) with similar ram, cpu and graphics hardware.

though I miss the old days, when I turned on my SNES and somehow and reliably a game came on and I played it. (until my brother put a coin in the console heat sink)

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Cathto [2013-06-12 13:16:48 +0000 UTC]

I had one of those mements when I went into the phone place to get some deal of some kind and the guy serving us asked, "So, what do you whant your phone to do?"
My response was, after a stunned silence, "Um... make phonecalls?"
Albeit, the guy was a little lost from that point.
Imagine if you had to face similar questions in other stores. You walk into a hardware store and the guy behind the counter asks you, "What would you like your hammer to do?"
It boggles the mind.

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drachefeuer [2013-06-12 13:05:58 +0000 UTC]

So don't buy one if you don't like the direction they're going with consoles. It's literally as simple as that.

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voy101 [2013-06-12 11:53:39 +0000 UTC]

My phone's for calls and texts, it was for internet too where I couldn't normally get it but now I have a hot spot and use my iPod for that.
And my console is for games(and my dvd player when I actually watch them on a tv), and a reason I mainly play pc, just have to get a new graphics card or what not every so often, but that's it, no needing to get a new console with the new generation if I want to keep up. Just buy it, install/download it, and play.

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PROtypeM3X [2013-06-12 10:17:05 +0000 UTC]

kk not going to start a dookie tornado. but can you explain to me what TeamFort2 as that halo doesn't? i mean of course outside the obvious.
seriously i fail to see the necessity for that remark.

that aside i agree, being a long time Xbox fan i was really disappointing in what they had to show. Don Mattrick really pissed me off pretty much telling all of his once loyal customers, to go fuck off, if we want to play offline or trade games with out having to go through ridicules complications. ether way i'm gonna try to spring for both consoles this year. my reason for wanting the xbox is really cuz it looks like it has some good titles and i'm still a HALO fan boy so that's to look forward to. also a ton of my friends and family are getting it as well, i don't know any one with a PS3 and too few who are getting a PS4.
at the very least i won't be getting the Xbox1 until around the new Halo comes out. mostly hoping a bunch of these kinks will be wiped from the Xbox and Don Mattrick will get fired...



... out of a cannon into the sun

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twaanie [2013-06-12 10:05:29 +0000 UTC]

I do agree that a game console just has to play games but i don't think Retro-gaming is the answer but thats probably because I really like playing with others and I only play online (becaus nobody in my area likes to game)

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MyrkSuki [2013-06-12 09:16:27 +0000 UTC]

Well so far the Wii U plays mostly games. Ya know.

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Twilight16Master [2013-06-12 07:53:11 +0000 UTC]

I had a NES as a kid, and eventually my parents decided it was a good idea to upgrade to a PS2. which I am grateful for. we also bought a working Atari later on, and that made the collection complete in my eyes. never cared for the XBox360 or PS3, and never needed to own one. I got so many friends with BOTH units that I could just play them when invited to. XD plus, I have accounts on probably 4 or 5 of each of those systems within 3 counties of my home. =w=

the new systems don't appeal to me. PS2, NES and Atari are all I need. <3

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Scott-Redburn [2013-06-12 07:50:04 +0000 UTC]

According to the Bank of England's inflation calculator, £349 is the equivalent of roughly £199 back in 1992. The SNES debuted at £150 in Great Britain. That's not a huge price increase for the technological difference between the two devices.

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ManicMoonMan [2013-06-12 07:21:01 +0000 UTC]

I'd spring for an emulator, good sir. One thing some modern tech has going for it is a bit more durability, as I discovered when my NES crapped out nearly a decade ago despite plenty of TLC.

If you want more of the retro experience, look no further: [link]

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dinshino [2013-06-12 06:52:06 +0000 UTC]

Definitely have to agree with you on this.

I rather like how Yahtzee put it, any games I want to play that are on the new consoles are basically being held hostage.

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Wafflebob [2013-06-12 06:45:26 +0000 UTC]

I'm not getting involved with either console. With the new news on security and console specific games, I've given up all consoles and just went back to PC. If it's not on PC I don't care anymore.

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