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Jomina — Inaction and Reaction
Published: 2004-09-01 07:51:11 +0000 UTC; Views: 7960; Favourites: 133; Downloads: 2070
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Description
PosessionThis demon's taken control of me
Depression
I curse myself and my incapability
Regression
I wish, I hope, to go back to the day
Dispassion
When I didn't care about it, either way
Displacement
Why are my thoughts so out of place?
Abasement
Mayhap it's someone else with my face
Chastisement
Punish me, now, for I spit and I curse
Excitement
It feels so bad, and I want it to be worse
Searching
I look for a way out of all this
Lurking
Shadows hide me, my courage I miss
Waiting
I see it there, my eyes it will haunt
Hating
I look for the moment when I can taunt
Distraction
It looks away for a moment or three
Inaction
I wait for too long, cannot get free
It holds me
It molds me
It makes me
It takes me
Possession is nine-tenths, don't you see?
Depression is deep and wont let me be
Regression perhaps is the way, but
Dispassion makes all those doors shut
Displacement causes me to sit and stare
Abasement is the punishment that I share
Chastisement is something I have heard
Excitement builds, and I await the word
Searching for who I once had been
Lurking old haunts, listening within
Waiting for the voice I once knew
Hating myself because I know its you
Distraction takes me and I look away
Inaction hits and I cannot do or say
A word about this hold it has on me
Molding me into what I'd never be
It makes me do these horrible things
It takes them away, my angel wings
Fallen I was, and fallen I'll be ever
I walk this world, ending seen never
Maybe with you I will play the game
Inside I'm dead, and you are the same
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Comments: 90
I love your use of the common rhyme/ending repetition at the beginning and how you eventually reused those words to convey their deeper meaning
keep it up, it's nice to see more writing on this site
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I absolutely love this!!! 
I identify with the darkness, and have a stern belief to go and get it from deep inside, express it and then feel the relieve afterwards... giving you strength for the next one.
I also love your photography... will be back!!
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Wow, I love this. Are you sure you're not a writer hmmmm
Love the pic too, but the poem is fantastic!
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i love your style and organization. this is so beautiful and descriptive.
me likie.
+fav.
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wow...i love how you organized it. its such a powerful poem.....
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wow. this poem is like, gripping, it grabs your attention at the beggining and just doesnt let go.
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brilliant. the structure and form you gave is masterful. +fav
even with, IMO, the 2nd to last stanza being a bit weak, and the use of 'dead' in the last line seems tired.
regardless, its a true piece of art crafted with lingual skills.
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that was awesome!! 
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Mm.. great photo and poem. Don't know .. I almost dare to say i understand it perfectly. This summer alot of things have surfaced for me, good and bad, and amongst those, in between, him: [link] i know it's a stupid drawing, but for now, i cannot draw better. He made me look upon your poem and almost understand it.
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Well, JESUS~ this rhythm LEAPS off the page.
IMHO(& I don't do DO this...), this is fantastic and excruciatingly saleable song-writing...^^
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looks a bit like charlotte hatherley from the oh so wonderfull ash and her own band "charlotte hatherley"
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looks a bit like charlotte hatherley from the oh so wonderfull ash and her own band "charlotte hatherley"
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i really didn't get a spooky feeling at all! I felt kind of like it was a beautiful sadness.
that poem-- WOW 
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that is amazing, you are amazing. i really liked the poem and as cheesey as it sounds it spoke to me, I connected a lot. how do you do it?
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kara
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awesome piece of work hun! this is so powerful and hiting you straight. its .. brilliant!
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the image the poem are both so inspiring and beautiful
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I truly find your poem inspiring. (In my mind this is the highest of Compliments for anyone to recive!)
ISML(I Send My Love)
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very good in my opinion...i havent heard...or read... a peom written in this form before...but it is beautiful and i love it.
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you know, stuff like this, though written well, makes me wonder about those things that i cannot see, those things that are hidden. i sometimes wonder why we write things such as this. anyway, this was very well written, and i LOVED the rhyme scheme.
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Argh, my bad spelling. Sorry bout that. Writing while having people staring over my shoulder.
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Absolutley loved it. The picture is goregous. However, as for the poem, astoudning. You put a whole new meaning to each of those world. Like your own internal dictionary.
Only thing, be careful with ryhming.
Overall, bloody brilliant
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Hey awesome. It's the original structure that really strikes me.
In fact it is quite inspiring.
Way to inspire dude.
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i like the poem, but i really like th structure, its appropriate and yet unappropriate, (oh yeh im one of those morons)
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Very, very cool Ira. Its got a wicked flow to it, snares you right up. Usually I'm not into loving poetry but its hard not to love this. I especially like the opening:
Posession
This demon's taken control of me
Depression
I curse myself and my incapability
I don't think I've heard anyone talk about the curse of depression as well before. Anyway, great stuff, you've come a long way in your poetry and writing.
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I love this, I admire your style also, well done
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correct punctuation would make this piece a lot easier to read w/o the kinks
major major rule when rhyming
DO NOT REVERSE SYNTAX EVER
reverse syntax does not make grammatical sense and even when used as a "stylistic" device it is looked down on. you dont even see songwriters or rap artists use reverse syntax, why should poets? it also shows the writer's inflexibility in finding rhymes. try to use half rhymes instead of full rhymes, ie clue-cool. or best of all, dont rhyme unless you are sure the rhymes are not trite or unless you are sure you can position the rhymes so that they benefit the meaning of the poem rather than rhyming for the sake of rhyming.
a poem is not classified a poem based on its rhyme scheme, it is classified by its technical ability as well as how well it communicates its message.
overall it reads like a rap without the rhythm. rhyme comes hand in hand with rhythm so think about it next time you write a rhyming piece.
hope this helps
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Good job on the written piece
.. Because my devwatch page has ALWAYS been funked up totally since i GOT my subscription ..i didn't realize this was a poem ( and not a visual piece ) ...so it looks like you instantly built your rep as an author too ... 
Not because i believe it has anything to do with the poem...( purely meritorious unto itself )... but the pic you made to go with it is awsome 
--
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This is sooo well done! I love the picture, the manipulation fits the poem so well! But I especially love the poem. Depression is a permanent part of my life...and this describes the spiraling feelings so very well!
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Thank you Ira...
beautiful. I love the feel of it all.
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this is really well done. i love the rhythm and the word choice is excellent!
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Dark again!! I love how you change styles .. it keeps me alert
She looks absolutelly great Ira.. I love the sparkles on her hair!
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The poem has an odd, interesting flow to it that I think fits very well with the photo itself.
I enjoy seeing pieces like this, where you must make a connection between the written piece and the visual...
Writing seems to be an archaic form of expression, nowadays.
It's interesting how you kept a rhyming scheme and how that scheme was able to make sense throughout the entire poem.
Those things, in the picture, that look a bit like stars, look to me as though they could be tears. And they are quite bright, if they are what I imagine, which would make me think that somehow they are in mockery to the woman...
Mm. I don't know...
I'm adding this because it has both visual and written stimulation, and nothing too drab, at that.
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very challenging and thought-provoking, and wrapped up in such a delicate, beautiful image as always my friend. another
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stock account- ~parker-stock
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its really haunting i like it alot it brings back an old memory that i really don't want to remember but its still in my head its really really good
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Quinn
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