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Jose-Ramiro — Boxing Cat vs Bat
by-nc-sa
Published: 2010-05-10 06:09:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 26618; Favourites: 166; Downloads: 556
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Description
Request.Rita (Animaniacs) beating up Rouge The Bat.
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Comments: 1659
Garfield barely survives.
GF - There go 2 of my 9 lives.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
(stomps on the orange cat until it stops moving)
Now... Who's up for chinese?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Garfield, still unconscious, lifts his hand.
Rouge - Even like this, he wants to eat.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
(blows up Garfield) Now there is NO WAY he can eat food dead)
(20 minutes later)
(opens bag) Why the fuck are the containers empty
(Rouge burps loudly)
FUCKIN HELL WOMAN!
Cindy: Taco Bell then
THAT SHIT MAKES ME SICK
Amber: This is going to be a LOOONG night
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(rolls out a long bill)
Rouge: (snatches the bill and reads) WHO THE FUCK CHARGES 10 DOLLARS FOR A COMBO?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Rouge - And people say I'm a burglar!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Cindy: YOU ARE THOUGH
Amber: You do steal for FUN
They both have points...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Rouge - Yes, but even I have some limits with the stuff I steal.
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you steal expensive clothing, primarily dresses, and jewels
Cindy: and one day someones virginity at knifepoint
Amber: Death you're a horrible father figure for Cindy
she watches alot of law and order
Cindy: (checks watch) the new one is on right now!
(Cindy runs out
see?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Rouge - And I don't steal viriginities... guys offer them to me.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
(hangs up a phone) that was Tails looking to offer Rouge somethin
Rouge: i cheat with people my age... OH WAIT!
Cindy: BUSTED
Amber: Shes screwed
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Rouge *to her lover* I swear I hadn't cheated on you since we started dating.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
(watching a nanny cam) Cindy you WHORE
Cindy: I should run
Amber: Yes you should (hands Death a fire axe)
(Death chases Cindy with the axe)
Rouge: watch her trick him into sex
Amber: Be lucky that isn't you
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Long story short, Cindy and Death finish in bed, doing it like rabbits in heat.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
(confused from going to rage to lust in .05 seconds) HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?
Cindy: I DON'T FUCKIN KNOW EITHER!
We can't ask Rouge SHE WILL KILL US
Amber: (in doorway) Heartless are here
(Death leaves a motion blur of himself running)
Amber: Notice the MOTION BLUR runs like a normal person!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Cindy - I'm amazed he still can run after what we did.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Amber: I don't want to know... (looks down the hallway)
Cindy: You do don't ya Amber
Amber: Tell me every damn detail
Cindy: 50 munny!
Amber: (digs through her purse) fuckin cheap whore of a blaziken
Cindy: That guy saved my life time and time again, I feed Puppy to pay what I owe
Amber: Puppy? (tackled by an Arcanine)
Cindy: WHO'S A GOOD PUPPY?
Amber: You getting 25 munny now
Cindy: still worth it
(outside)
Man how many were there?
Raven: Uhhhh.... (trying to recall)
Sora: I dunno
look over there
(a young blonde man is bleeding)
Jaxson
Jaxson: Don't kill me!
Raven: he's a traitor
Sora: He can change
Raven: Blast his head off
(Death kills Jaxson with Jaxson's own gun)
Raven: a PPK?
Given to german officers during WWII this was the german pistol that also allowed twelve officers and Hitler himself to kill themselves, 9mm current retail price 3200 dollars if it was sold by a cheapskate 1100 at gun stores nearby
Raven: Is any of that true?
Sora and Death: Who the fuck cares?!
Raven: I do...
I got girls ta get back ta, I'll see ya later
Raven: We could tell from a lack of a shirt...
Sora: Can I have 1100 munny?
Raven: may- NO!
Sora: Aww...
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BB - No complaining allowed.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Death in distance: A moan and or groan of disappointment is not considered complaining ut a verbal gesture of said disappointment
(Cindy pulls Death into the window he was shouting from, Amber closes the wind then the blinds)
Sora: HA HA!
(phone rings)
Raven: Yes who is this? Oh... Absolutely... (hits Sora in the back of the head) anything else *away from phone to Starfire* watch me creep him out *back to phone* Sorry BB acted up say again... sure... (breaks Rouge's windshield) Bye love you! (hangs up) his phone setting is speaker so watch what happens
(Raven notices Rouge with a baseball bat approaching)
BB: Run Raven...
Sora: AND FAST! (hit with bat)
(Raven teleports away)
Rouge: Oh I'll find you, you dark power using whore, don't you worry
(Death's room, closet)
Raven: My god... What is wrong with these girls?
(Notebook + Raven's head = Head injury)
Raven: Ow... (turns on a flashlight and reads) His blood is love potion? So when he gives someone blood when they wake up the first person they see... and he gave blood to Bunnie, Minerva Mink, Rouge, Amber, and Cindy... Amber being the most recent *this morning* they all fell in love when they saw Death... Makes sense theoretically
(Death opens the door)
Raven: Hi (looks down)
Lady my notebook is part of research on love potion side effects! (snatches book) ROUGE SHE'S UP HERE!
(Raven is shocked she can't teleport)
so many ways in no way out...
(Death let's Rouge pummel Raven)
Don't go through my shit Raven...
Amber: (grabs Death) Get back in here!
Cindy: She's boring, hurry up!
(Rouge sees Death get pulled into bed)
Rouge: Lucky bitches, they get fun and I have to clean a steel bat
(Raven crawls out of the room and teleports away)
Rouge: Stupid cunt... Hey! (runs to the window near a miniature statue of the Keyblade Graveyard to see her car is being hotwired) SORA YOU PRICK I'M GOING TO BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Then, Rouge feels someone tapping her shoulder. She turns to see a huge green gorilla glaring at her.
Raven *behind the gorilla* For all his flaws, BB has some great qualities... namely, he beats up anyone hurting me.
Rouge - Oh, CENSORED.
Gorilla BB beats up the bat lady.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
don't beat my bitch
Raven: I thought the gta 3 mission was called dont spank ma bitch
(ten 50 cal rounds tear BB to shreds)
Raven: Oh for fucks sake
Rouge go to the living room elixir liqour cabinet next to the 125 proof
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Raven uses her powers, and thanks to this and BB turning into an amoeba, saves his life.
Raven - And don`t attack him this deadly again! He's a moron, but he's the moron I love.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
No one brings a threat to my enviorment, NO ONE
Raven: Did you lose someone because they were an unidentified threat
BB: Raven
Next comment like that means a 50 cal in BB's HEAD
Raven: Was it your mother or father
(BB's head explodes from the 50 cal)
I keep my promises Raven, maybe one day you will too... that way when you promise to admit something to someone you won't wait til the last minute
Raven: HE WAS INNOCENT
HE WAS DEAD AS SOON AS HE HIT ROUGE DO YOU THINK I WAS GOING TO LET HIM WALK AWAY?
(Raven cries)
You will find no sympathy from me...
(Death walks downstairs and sees Robin)
Robin: You are a monster
Thousands of years being the Angel of Death does that to you
Robin: WHY
I've killed people I love, people who just happened to get a terminal and uncurable illness, at some point I just became... cold (dips a spoon in water and makes it touch the palm of the left hand, the skin and the spoon crack)
Robin: Rouge should have died
It's my job, my game, my choices, my rules
Robin: You make choices that benifit you
Would you kill someone that you absolutely wanted off the face of the earth if you had their life in your hands
(Robin looks at his feet)
Then don't you dare fucking judge me mortal
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Robin - Still, Rouge was the one hurting Raven, and BB was defending the one he loved the most. You pretty much do the same with several persons.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
That wasn't my FUCKING QUESTION
Robin: I would kill him
Then don't fucking judge me... (looks at list and uses a index finger to cross out a name)
(immediately Robin feels pain all over, he coughs blood and looks to Death for help, but instead he dies unaided and disappointed in Death)
That's how shit works Robin... And I don't feel bad for you
(Starfire sees Robin and runs over)
Starfire: WHAT HAPPENED
Cyborg: He's a monster, he manipulates the rules of life for his family, they get extra years and we die
If your name is on this list, you die
Starfire: YOU'RE LYING
(Death crosses out another name)
Yuffie's outside, dead soon, black death
Raven: Why reinstate a diesease that spreads easily both airborne and through contact
Because I feel like it the rest of you are on this list too, get out of my sight or die...
(Cyborg charges for a punch but his head explodes halfway through the attack)
See?
(Starfire, knowing she is powerless, leaves)
Raven: You are no angel, you're a demon
If I never did my job, the world would be a never ending chaotic nightmare, rape, narcotics, arson, gangs destroying neighbor hoods, dead raising from the graves, it would be the end of the world if nature did what I do now
Raven: I DON'T CARE (leaves)
(sits in a chair, and reads down the list crossing off names)
Tifa Lockhart... (sighs and crosses the name out) If I don't kill em by a scythe I gotta kill em with a piece of paper... that is sad
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Cindy - This counts as a massive destruction weapon.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
weapon of mass destruction is the PC term
Cindy: I LOVE YOU TOO!
Amber: Not the brightest bulb on the tree is she...
???: No she is not
How's the wrestling Nina
Nina: It's mostly lesbians wanting some unapproved action from some girls like me
Amber: I saw the fight last night, do you usually use your ass to beat the hell out of women by putting them in a corner trap and slamming your ass into their crotch?
Nina: No just Death, I like him... I just wanted one submission on that bitches record
Moving on (Sees Nina's name and circles it)
Nina: (jumps slightly) I just had a burst of life...
(Crosses out another name)
Cindy: He must really want that big butt of yours on his lap
Amber: look I may somewhat agree with you HE'S BUSY CINDY
Cindy: I can start off
(Cindy walks away from Nina and Amber into Death's study)
Nina: She's going to get hurt again...
Amber: AGAIN?
Nina: Dumb bitch knows he doesn't like it when she does this when he's busy
Cindy: AH!
Nina: He just kneed her
Amber: Where?
Nina: Her sweet spot as she calls it...
Amber: OH! Poor girl, I feel bad for her
Nina: She's coming back
Cindy: Can someone get the Frosslass to sit on my lap?
Nina: No...
Cindy: Than an ice pack please
(Amber walks into the kitchen)
Nina: So I'm moving back in... tired of hotels with bad security and worse privacy
Cindy: Peepholes?
Nina: Yes and one had a section to grab at what you see
Cindy: What happened
Nina: Ripped the bitches arm off
Cindy: It was wrestlers only
Nina: My league only lotta lesbians stole my panties...
Cindy: That sounds kinda sexy
Nina: I'll bring you to sign up tomorrow, you will like the rules, no holding back... You might want to choose the mud wrestling tournament
Cindy: Oil, mud stays in my feathers for days
Nina: Used to fighting in oil
Cindy: I know how to use most holds in oil fights
Nina: SO Rouge has been living here
Cindy: YUP!
Nina: Joy... just what I need, more sluts on my lover
Cindy: WOAH BITCH HE'S MINE
(AMber comes in and throws the ice pack into Cindy's "injury")
Cindy: Ugh... I need a mop to clean something up
Amber: Get it yourself...
(Cindy walks out without arguement)
Amber: Look I have been following his EVERY MOVE for 23 years, can't you and I share?
Nina: Him, 50/50
Amber: even if it's one week in a year
Nina: 50/50 is fair and you don't seem to be a threat to me unlike Cindy... You get her a bunch of jobs and I'll get rid of Rouge by making her casino too busy... my opponents love to gamble when not in the ring
Amber: Deal
(Rouge walks in)
Rouge: NINA
Nina: Hey I know some gambling addicts but you gotta hold their matches in the casino...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Rouge - Sure, no problem.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Nina: Oh they're all at this hotel they prefer their interviews to be done while wrestling nude
Rouge: I need more income anyway, not like I have alot of choices here...
(Rouge walks out)
Nina: That was too easy...
Amber: Cindy agreed to pay her rent... started looking at the newspaper, the victoria's secret model ads
Nina: Well begging bitches can't be choosers... What is he talking about
(Amber and Nina listen into Death's phone call)
AND I SAID 30 GRAND PER SOLDIER MICKEY! IF I DON'T SEE THAT CHECK IN MY MAILBOX BY MIDNIGHT SORA DONALD AND GOOFY DIE! (hangs up) I know you're out there
Nina: wanna have a threesome
I know what you heard...
Amber: Oh crap we're dead
So if you tell a god damned soul
Nina: We're slaves?
You're DEAD
Nina: Oh not as bad though...
Amber: Rather be alive and a slave than dead
SO KEEP YOU'RE DAMN MOUTH SHUT
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Nina - Okay, but you must please me.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
(pulls out Death Penalty)
Amber: I thought only Chaos could use that gun?
Who in the fuck did you think gave it to him God?
Nina: Point taken... I'll be in the basement...
Amber: I am going to beat Cindy senseless
You do that (the gun disappears)
(a Dragonite enter)
Dragonite: Is their anything wrong professor?
Go back to bed Luna...
Luna: I'll see you in the morning... (goes back into the study's bedroom)
Great now I am going to have to deal with Nina or get found out by those damn mortals again (goes down to the basement)
Nina: I've been waiting
Should just killed you to really make sure your mouth is shut
Nina: Aw but who would bring money in when those leaders you black mail refuse to pay
(picks up a bottle of foot lotion)
Nina: Good boy... My feet hurt from kicking lesbo asses 6 nights a week...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
(Death used Surprise Attack!)
Nina: (noticing the fotprint in her cheek) That isn't funny
Neither is blackmail
Nina: WELL YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Nina - You take advantage on the fact I want you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I also know your gullible
Nina: Asshole
Dumb bitch...
Nina: I'll body slam you!
And then you'll make me find a new pair of underwear...
Nina: YOU SICK FUCKER
LOOK WHO'S TALKING!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Nina - TAKE ME NOW!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
(tapes Nina's mouth shut then ties her to the chair she's sitting in)
SHUT YOUR GOD DAMNED MOUTH
(Death goes back to the main floor, Amber is arguing with the mail carrier)
Amber: AND IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE YESTERDAY!
Woman: LICK MY CUNT OR SIGN THE RELEASE FORM, THERE AREN'T ANY OTHER OPTIONS
Amber: Lady if this were my house you would be on the floor begging me to stop violating your
(Death clears his throat)
Amber: This woman is a bitch
Sign for the delivery or die
(Amber signs, she notices the woman's name tag then shuts the door)
Amber: (calling IPS) Yes Intergalactic Postal Service, I would like to lodge a complaint... Yes I will hold...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Rouge - And people say I'm bad tempered.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Moron!
Rouge: That isn't fair
I MEANT AMBER
Amber: Yeah I want to talk about... how did you know? FIRE HER NOW!
(three hours later)
(the woman comes back)
Oh boy she's drunk
Amber: You can tell how?
(Jokingly) I felt a disturbance in the force...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Rouge - Not to mention that stench.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
(Death = gone)
Rouge: He's got the right idea...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
(bar)
Hades: How ya doing kiddo?
Shut the fuck up and let me drink in PEACE
Hades: Well theres someone I want ya to send to me sometime in the next week
I started working for you WHEN EXACTLY
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Hades - You don`t work for me, but your work is related to mine.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
My work is to release souls from bodies of the dead and yours is?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Hades - Receive those souls.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Not ALL of them, maybe 5%
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Hades - Hey, 5% of several thousands is still a lot.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Go shit in a hat!
Hades: If it's amusing will you hear me out?
Maybe
(20 minutes later)
Donald: (astonished yelp) WHO SHIT IN MY HAT
(chuckling)
Hades: NOW YOU HEAR ME OUT BECAUSE I'VE PLAYED BY THE RULES THUS FAR!
Fine what?
Hades: Kill Samus Aran for me
Maybe Toreno
Hades: I SOUND LIKE HIM I AM NOT HIM THOUGH
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
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