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Steve woke up to another sleepless night or maybe he forced to wake himself up from the dream that he was having. At this point, he starts to reconsider to take the medicine Bruce told him to take to help him sleep a little better. He reached out to turn off his alarm, which continued to beep at his bedside table. Maybe he should just stay in bed all day today since he hardly slept at all. He was staring at the ceiling, when he thought about you again. When does he not ever think about you? Ever since you left the Avengers, that’s all he can ever think about. The way you smile, your [eye color], the way your eyes light up when you ask him to watch Disney movies with him.

Sometimes, he even feel like you were beside him when he goes to bed but every time; he turns around, you weren’t there. He continues to stare at the ceiling, when he felt your presence again. It seems to come and go; sometimes he doesn’t even want to look because it just gives him false hope, that you are actually home. Curiosity got the better of him and he turned to his left side of his bed.

He’s heart dropped and his breath caught in his throat, when he saw you lying beside him. Looking at right at his sad blue eyes.

“[Name]?” he whisper, afraid that you would disappear. You didn’t seem to respond for a while so he thought that he is finally having hallucinations of you.

You took a deep breath and smile slightly, “Steve”

Steve’s heart did another skip when you said his name, he miss you. He misses you way too much.

“The base is not the same without you,” he said. He managed to get a smile out of you.

“I’m sure, Sam and Tony keeps you busy. Plus your missions” you said to him trying to look the silver lining.

“That’s different though” you didn’t say anything but continue to look at him instead. Steve doesn’t care if this his mind playing tricks on him but this is what he needed. Just to see you again and talk to you.

“Will you be coming back soon?” He asked. Trying to fight the itching feeling to reach out to you.

You smiled sadly; trying to gather the courage not to cry, “I don’t know. I’m not sure, if I’m ever coming back”

“We can help you, [Name]. I can protect you“

“Your not risking your life for me. I care about you. I’m not—“ you choke out your words trying to explain to him, how you feel, “I can’t lose you again”

“I miss you, [Name]” Steve admitted, he doesn’t care if he was hurt along the way but being away from you for this long, is killing him inside. He’s getting to the point that his talking to an illusion of you.

“I miss you too Steve” you didn’t hold your eyes tear anymore as they escaped from your [eye color], “Take care of yourself okay? The team needs you”

Steve was about to protest but you already gone. Was he dreaming that the whole time? Or has his mind was that desperate to be with you but he just thought of that whole conversation? He took a deep breath and decided to get ready and get out of bed. As tempting as it is to stay and hope you’d show up again, he can’t. Because you were right, the team needs him.

You wipe your tears away as you got out of bed. He wasn’t an illusion this time; you were definitely talking to Steve. There was a connection that was left behind, when you healed him. He was badly wounded trying to rescue you from the people that took you. They wanted Intel from all the data that S.H.I.E.L.D has in exchange for your freedom. Of course, it wasn’t as easy as you thought it would be. Which cause Steve really bad injuries. As he was taken to the hospital, you took all your energy to heal his body. Being a super solider, it took a lot of energy than you thought but it was worth it. He’s alive and safe.

It’s this not the first time that people wanted your abilities for something more. You’re healing abilities and the ability to heal yourself become complicated when people thought they could replicate your blood for their own. The Avengers could get hurt because of you and you don’t know how you can handle one of them getting hurt again, just like Steve did.

You thought, your mind was playing tricks on you too but you start to feel Steve’s presence around you and you start to see glimpse of him. Then you realize that maybe a part of you or your powers was given to him. There was a connection that was left behind, you wonder if Steve knew about it too.

“Steve, are you okay?” Natasha asked as Steve entered the kitchen, “You look like crap”

“I know, I just couldn’t sleep last night” he said, making his way to the coffee maker and grabbing a cup for himself

“Nightmares again?” Bruce asked, who’s sitting beside Natasha, “You know, you should really take that prescription that I told you about”

“I know… but it might not even work. I can’t even get drunk” he explained taking a sip of his coffee.

“But I think, I saw [Name]. I know it sounds crazy but—“

“Steve, We’re really worried about you” Natasha frowned, “We tried tracking her but she seem to disappear”

“She’s not dead, I saw you and talked to her. I know, she’s alive,” He replied rather defensively. Since, this lack of sleep, he was more short-tempered and defensive when it comes to you. “I feel her presence from time to time. I know it sounds crazy but—“

“We know; she’s still alive. But what if—“ Natasha didn’t want to continue, Steve suffered enough and saying the truth might not even help him. She can see the dark circles around his eyes and how worn out he looks.

“What if, what Nat?” Natasha quickly glances at Bruce then back to Steve.

“What if she just doesn’t want to come home? Maybe that’s why it taking a long time to look for Bucky. What if he doesn't want to be found either,”

“Just drop it Nat. You don’t even know what’s going on,” Steve snapped at his closest friend.

“I’m sorry Steve, I don’t mean to be straight forward but you need to know the truth”

“You don’t know anything, just stay out of this.” Steve slammed his cup at the counter and leaving Natasha and Bruce behind.

Steve never loses his cool in front of anyone but with you and it’s taking months to find. They are starting to think that you didn’t want to come home at all. But Steve doesn’t believe that at all, he knows that you will be back; you were just scared that someone might get hurt. Steve reached the living room of the base and looking out the glass window. It was a sunny mid morning and everything seem to be quiet. Maybe Sam, Wanda and Clint were training in the training room along with Tony. He needs to cool off before meeting up with them.

“You can’t be mad at Nat, she’s just trying to help in her on own” You said to Steve. He felt your presence again and look to his right, you were there standing beside him.

“She doesn’t have to bring in Bucky too” Steve closed eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“She’s worried about you. I’m starting to get worried too” Steve wanted to say that she should just come home, if she’s so worried about him. Why is she torturing him like this?

“I’m fine,” he said dismissively. If Steve were looking at you, he would have seen the hurt look in your [eye color] orbs. You took a step back; he needs some time, maybe this whole connection thing, wasn’t a good idea. Steve felt bad for being short with you but when he was able to apologize, you were already gone. He wanted to mental punch himself. Whatever this hallucination is, seems to be the only way to keep his sanity intact but even the hallucination you left him with his poor attitude.

You sighed as you walked away from Steve. He’s never usually like to anyone but seeing the dark circles around his eyes and how tired he look. He seems to be more like suffering than getting better. You were looking out the window, looking at the view of Wakanda.

“You know, such a bond like that is very rare” T’Challa stood beside you, giving you a comforting smile. Ever since you left the Avengers, you went back to Wakanda, where your brother lives. T’Challa is not your blood brother but he took you in like you were his sister.

“When I healed him, I guess, a part of me was also shared with him” you sadly smiled at him, “He is upset with me”

“He is confused sister. He will take time, he will understand why you did it” you would like to believe that you and Steve are having some ‘long distance argument’ but he does he even know that you have this connection? Or are you just a figment of his imagination.

“I thought, I was doing the right thing by leaving. To keep him safe but it looks like- I’m just making it worst”

T’Challa gently took you by your shoulders, “Mistakes happen. You thought it was the best decision at the time but you must follow your heart, [Name]”

“And what if he gets hurt again because of me?” you try not to cry the second time of the day.

“You will not go through it alone. He will be there, you will be there for each other and that’s what matters” corners of his lips slightly lifted.

“Okay, I will think about it”

“I will support, whatever decision you make,” he said, pulling you into a comforting hug.

Steve decided to train today to keep his mind off you. He messed up already by getting mad at you and snapping at everyone in the team. The robot attacked Steve from behind, kicking his back with full force. He winced from the pain quickly recovered from the attack. He throws this shield at the robot, knocking it over and started punching it with all full force. Tony told Steve that the robot took enough beating but he doesn’t seem to hear him.

“Steve”

“Steve!” Tony quickly ran towards his Captain

“Steve” this time, he heard your voice. He jerked his head to the direction of your voice and he saw you in kneeling beside of him with a worried look plastered on your face with your hand resting on his “Steve, you’re okay”

“[Name]?”

“Geez, Steve! You know how much this will cost me? You don’t have to beat the daylight out of it” Tony raked his fingers through his hair, rather frustrated.

“That’s it. You are off training until you sort out, your anger” Steve stared blankly at Tony before nodding his head. His right, he needs to get his head together.

Natasha was about to comfort his friend but Sam stopped her, “He needs space. Let him” Natasha frowns deepened but agreed to Sam’s request.

Steve finally got back to his room and sat at the end of his bed. Running his fingers through his sweaty hair, he is officially losing it. He took a deep breath, trying to slow down his breathing. Maybe, in someway he can channel you and talk to you, to comfort him, to apologize about what happened earlier.

“I’m sorry [Name]. I didn’t mean to be rude earlier. It’s just—“ he took a shaky breath before continuing, “I just miss you so much. I can’t lose you like this, not like this. Please, if you can hear me” Steve was quiet, listening to his surrounding. He was secretly hoping that you would appear. He doesn’t care if you were just a figment of his imagination, hallucination or a connection. He just needs to see you; he wants to hold you and finally let you know how much he loves you.

“I love you, [Name]”

It’s been two weeks since he heard from you. He tried talking to you again, hoping that some kind of miracle you would hear him and forgive him. About another week, he gave up, he’s convinced that it was just his imagination and that he was able to see and talk to you. Maybe, it’s time to finally move on.

“Steve?” he heard Natasha from the other side of the door.

“Come in” he said as he set his book down on his lap
“There’s someone to here to see you. It seems to be an emergency,” she says, not fully coming inside his room. Steve raised his eyebrows, trying to read his best friend.

“I didn’t get much details, I was just told that they would rather to talk you in person” Steve cocked his head to side but followed Natasha to the living room.

Steve stopped his tracks, when he saw you standing in the middle of the living room. You have your coat on and a small carry on beside you.

“[Name]?” You turned your head to his direction; you drew a long breath before giving him a weak wave.

“Hey Steve”

“Is that really you or go I really need to go to the doctor for this?” you giggled softly, shaking your head. Steve slowly made his way to you, taking in everything that is in front of him.

“It’s really me. You’re not really crazy. You were talking to me and --“ you were shortly cutoff when Steve scoops your in his arms, resting his face on the crook of your neck. He remembers the same scent like before, the smell of fresh roses. You were gone for almost 8 months.

“Don’t ever leave me like that again,” he whisper to you, hanging on to you like you were his lifeline. You were shocked at first but you slowly wrapped around arms around his neck.

“I know, I’m sorry Steve. I—I just thought it would be a good idea at the time. To protect you, it hurt so much to see you like that. You almost didn’t make it”

Steve inched back, looking at you with his arms remains around your waist. “It killed me inside, when you left. I can’t—I can’t lose you like that. Being away from you—I will protect you, you know that. And—“ you pressed your index finger on his lips, cutting off his ramblings

“I know Steve. I heard you,” you smiled at him, surprisingly steady he presses a kiss to your lips. You’ve been waiting for this for so long, being in his arms and hearing those words from him. Those countless nights that you both had, you finally heard him say those three little words.

You slowly pull away, trying to catch your breath from his kiss, looking at his bright blue eyes. You’re finally home, “I love you too Steve”