HOME | DD
JynErik — Contest - Railen {Bio Update Nov.4}
#contest #fish #merfolk #merman #oc #ocean #railen #dizzyalyx #goneandforgotten #contestentry #seacreature
Published: 2017-10-10 12:24:12 +0000 UTC; Views: 1478; Favourites: 95; Downloads: 7
Redirect to original
Description
My entry for 's contest.I have been thinking about this boy and working on his design and personality for the last few days. I was going to give him an ability, but I noticed a few other people using the same one and I thought maybe it would be better just to leave him without. He already has some traits anyway that could count as an ability of sorts, so adding on the one I was thinking of isn't something essential to completing his character, it's more so just fun to play around with ideas that could come with it~
Anyway I have a couple of links to his concept sheet and personality traits
Concept - sta.sh/05relvjj6t4
Bio - sta.sh/0wbh2jipdgt
Possibly more could be changed/added here later.
I hope that he is a decent character and fits in with the world DizzyAlyx has.
I really enjoyed making him and a lot of fun drawing these pictures for him ;u;
Maybe I'll do some more doodles of him later on~ Perhaps work on a backstory if I can come up with something I think is good
And maybe, if I can, I'll get the ideas down for if he had that ability I wanted to give him. For now I just want to see what anyone thinks about him as he is now. c:
Any comments or critiques are much appreciated~!
Update November 4th, 2017
Added some background info and slight changes to Railen's character. It should all be available in the description of his bio at the very bottom. Please feel free to take a look and give any feedback you may have on the additions/changes made~ c:
Related content
Comments: 28
I have yet to go read his bio,
But being honest,
He looks like he could be a bit of a snob, going by the expression on his face!
I like him anyways~ ^w^ =adds to favorites=
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
You know, he probably would come off as some know-it-all snob with how he interacts with people XD
He has really poor social skills and will often hurt or offend others in some way when he only meant to help them out or give some advice. So I can see that it can come off as possibly snobbish at times too.
I am glad that you like him and I greatly appreciate that you took the time to comment and give a fav~ c:
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I see, ahah!
You are very welcome for the comment and fave,
And in return I thank you for responding with such an interesting comment. ^w^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I really like how you put so much effort into this~
The biography you made for him is really detailed and interesting~ °w°
and I really really like this drawing~ °^°
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you so much~! I am glad to hear that he's pretty interesting c:
I changed him up quite a bit from this first entry, though he's still mostly the same. Just had to take out and add in some things~
I saw that you entered in a character as well! She is very cute and you also added in a nice backstory as to how she lost her sight and family!
I must say I am curious about this darkness~ You mentioned you had a neato idea for it and it got me wondering what took the poor girls sight :0
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Whaah you actually read that whole thing!!~ >///<
I was really nervous when posting it actually, because I was putting a lot of effort into it, but wasn't sure if anyone would like it...~
Well and I actually had 2 ideas of what the darkness truly is~
So the first idea I came up with is that there is a witch who curse people and her magic is visible on those who came across her magic~
Like black roots on them.. but then I came up with a better idea, which I actually prefer~ °^°
The second idea was:
The witch takes the eyesight of the people who come across her magic. She puts the stolen eye-sight into bottles and sells them to those who miss their eye-sight.
Many people say that she's a fraud, because eye-sight isn't something given so easily, which is true, because she doesn't 'create' eye-sight for the people, but she takes the
eye-sight from those, who were born with it and take their sight as granted. These people already had experienced the beauty of the world. The witch believes that these people
don't deserve the eye-sight given to them and wants those who never experienced any of the beauty to have a glimpse of the beautiful world. Because those will appreciate
the eye-sight, they won't take eye-sight as granted, because they weren't born with it. What the witch doesn't consider though, is that she doesn't take away the eye-sight solemnly,
but she also takes away the happiness of many many people...
That was pretty much the second idea~
Now you have to read so much again... sorry~ ;w;
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
It can be a bit scary to post something you worked hard on, but I really dig the little story you have going for her~
I enjoy how hopeful she is and her determination even with all she is going through.
I like her dolphin friend that helps keep her moving forward and that is a pretty interesting idea for how she suddenly loses her sight like that~!
I'm not sure if the witch story would work with Dizzy's world :0 (Though I can't really say for sure since I'm not her),
but outside of the contest, if you wanted to, you could totally develop this further into your own story!!
It seems like you developed the idea with the witch quite a bit from the first one to the second~
It really sparks a lot of ideas to become something more~!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yeah when I was finished I actually felt really proud of the effort I put into~ >w<
Also I wasn't sure either if the darkness would fit in her story, so I left it out, but I still thought it'd be a really cool idea~
I still have the feeling that I forgot to mention something in the story or something didn't really came out clearly~
Like the 'surreal feeling' I described at the end of the story~
She's afraid that all could be a dream, as it seems to be too good to be true~
Also the whispers she heard is a reference to the tamer thing, because she isn't a born tamer, but is slowly moving that direction due to her helplessness after loosing sight~
Which is why she can't quite communicate with the dolphin that much, since she's still developing her tamer ability (unknowingly), and the tamer ability is also why she can sense that the dolphin isn't hostile towards her even though she can't see~
gosh darn it! I made a long text again... >,>
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I'm glad that you kept the idea in mind and left a little hint of it in her story that you've posted~
It's cool to see the different ideas this contest inspires in people!
And I think you described the surreal, "too good to be true" feeling well at the end~
Maybe for the whisper you could add in something so it sounds more like a warm, friendly whisper? Something that could bring her a little comfort in her weakened state just before she meets Fos and could lead in more to that tamer connection with Fos
That's all I can think of possibly adding if you feel something is missing there :0
And no worries on the long messages~ I enjoy having chats like this and I don't mind doing some reading~ c:
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Yeah I had the feeling that the tamer thing didn't really come out~
I knew it!~ xD
Maybe I can change it a little, bit but I have to make it so that it still fits the story~
I tried to clearify the tamer thing with the "she felt... connected", but maybe I need to be a little bit more direct about it~
I'll see what I can do, but actually I have few time this time around, because in school my exams are coming up and I think I need to begin studying~
Thanks for the suggestion and I'm glad that you find the story interesting~ >w<
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
No problem
That line does help a lot with understanding she is a tamer, the whisper itself is just a little to vague on it's own~
But I understand how crazy things will be with exams coming up!
I wish you good luck your exams as well as with your character in this contest!! c:
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thanks a lot!~ °w°
You too good luck with your character!!~
I do think you have high chances of winning seeing how cool and detailed your character is~ ^w^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Dayum, you've put a lot of thought into this guy huh, he looks great! That's a very fleshed out bio and I love all the little sketch sheets you've included. The wee expression sheet - RailenExpressions - is probably my favourite of those lol
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Just a little bit~ XD
I enjoy creating and developing characters and Dizzy's world just inspires a lot of ideas for creating characters! I am glad to hear that He's looking good so far c:
And the expression sheet was really fun to draw~ I might do a finished line and color version of it at some point and post it up!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Kinda looks like hes in an aquarium, but under the sea aquarium.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
The best kind of aquarium out there~
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I. Can't. Believe you.
The ocean is not yours for the taking, you fool!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you so much~! ;u;
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Woah! Im very impressed with how much work you put into this character! Its honestly quite refreshing to see someone else who didn't use an ability, theyre being way overused so far! Thanks for the entry~
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I wanted to make him as complete as possible and really I just had so many ideas after reading your comic and lore on the merfolk!
I saw too much of the one ability to be comfortable doing the same, but it was good to toss that idea out and just focus on him as a character and the creature I was basing him around~
Your welcome and Thank you for hosting a contest~! I wouldn't have Railen if it wasn't for this contest and I love him a lot!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0