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got me thinking with their latest journal, and it's a feel i've had for a long time that i've expressed in a lot of different ways, but i'm about to express it again

it blows my mind how, for some reason, some grown-ass adults actually hate themselves for being 12 once. they look at their old ocs and start shrieking like "GOD I WAS SUCH A 12 Y/O MY OCS WERE SO TERRIBAD!! SO GLAD I DONT MAKE MARY SUES ANYMORE ;_>;" and like... they get so uppity about it?? like full on, tantrum-throwing anger about
>not being perfect at something the first time you do it
>not being master writers the first few times, the first 10 times, or even the first hundred times they make up an original character

and i start to figure out the reason why when i consider, i had that "EW LOL I WAS SO WEIRD AS A 12 YEAR OLD... FAIL!!" phase when i was, i shit you not, 13 - 15. that was the entirety of me being 13 - 15. self-hatred. and i was over it at 16

and i was just wondering, how the hell did i learn the secret to not getting mad at myself for having the appropriate skill level of a beginning writer/rper at age 12 for the rest of my life? how was i able to forgive myself while 20-ass-year-olds are still throwing fits about that shit??

ok so, i'm taking you to the root of this way of thinking

every fandom has a very specific audience that they all collectively despise - even members of this audience hate themselves. this audience is the butt of every fandom joke, they are the subject of many a tantrum vent journal, hell, people literally make up joke ocs to make fun of this audience

this audience is - true story - ~teh 12 year old rabid fangurlz~

like, really think about it. examine just about every fandom you've been in. is there not this hugely held belief that being a 12 year old fangirl is something inherently shameful? no? well, think about it this way

>does your fandom openly believe that shipping "yaoi" is some sort of strange niche activity only engaged in by strange, abnormal people? do even those shippers proclaim what "trash" they are for doing so?
>does your fandom complain about how many "mary sues" make up the oc population? does your fandom make chart upon chart upon chart about the way by which these "mary sues" are made, and the way by which "respectable female characters" are made?
>does this fandom either hate or feel neutral towards most female characters, yet fawn over everything male characters do?
>does your fandom make comics featuring some terrifying 12 year old rabid yaoi fangirl strawman, the face of all things wrong with this fandom? featuring also a "sane" fandom middleman, who doesn't ship those ridiculous "yoweez" unlike this extremely shameful young female specimen?
>is your fandom homestuck OOPS, I MEAN :3c

if really any of those questions are relevant to your fandom and your life, and you are a woman, there's a big chance you've been infected with a bug le SJW shills like to call
internalized misogyny
if really any of those questions are relevant to your fandom and your life, and you are a man, there's a big chance you've been infected with a bug le SJW shills like to call
micro-aggressive misogyny
the thing about both forms of misogyny is that they work very silently, they don't want you to know what they actually are. the people affected by these forms of bigotry never actually outright say they hate young girls, yet the target in most of their rants and ridicule are young girls. it's never "testosterone-poisoned edgy goth teen boys" you see people complaining about, it's "12 year old mary-sue-making rabid yaoi fangirls"

it picks a list of identified "feminine traits" (ex: mary sue making, overall not-that-great oc making, yaoi shipping, rape/abuse romanticization [which is absolutely sinister but not only for the reasons you'd think] fangirling, fandom fun activities like headcanoning, drawing characters with fluffier hair than they canonically have, the infamous nose-reddening art quirk) that it decides are
>bad fandom traitsand the idea that these traits are terrible spread like wildfire. why? because literally everyone, at some point in their lives, despises teenage girls more than anything else in the world. young men, adult men, old men, young women, adult women, old women, people of all ages across the entire gender spectrum [another infojournal for another day of course]

why did people hate twilight so much when it came out? because it "romanticizes abuse" and has "unbelievable characters that you can't identify with"? bullshit, those reasons came out years LATER, after everyone started hating twilight.

the real reason everyone hated twilight initially was because territorial fanboys (and, i guess, self-hating fangirls) were afraid that this whole "sparkly romantic vampire" thing was going to ruin the vampire fiction genre as a whole. they were afraid that this romanticized, more friendly vampire would ruin all vampires, forever. they were afraid that this vampire, specifically written in a romance novel to appeal to teenage girls, would ruin vampires. in short, they were scared that teenage girls were going to ruin "respectable" fiction.

which is what every fandom is afraid of, when you really, really think about it.

and what this manifests in, true story, is entire fandoms setting out to snipe the shit out of any teenage girl who dares to have fun (with oc making, shipping, etc.) it'd take a shorter amount of time to list all the fandoms who HAVEN'T been infected with this behavior, because in all my experience, the only one just might be the steven universe fandom. maybe. we'll see.

so anyway like, all of this is to say, there's a reason i tend to avoid associating with fandoms these days. they're vicious, toxic hellholes, and if i really feel like getting my daily dose of "oh, wow, people really are this misogynist", i could just look at the homestuck fandom or the castle of nations fandom or the creepypasta fandom for about five seconds and call it a day. and then i can go back to my friends, who have also learned the secret behind not hating teenage girls for enjoying shipping, because i don't hate myself enough to associate with people i don't respect. the secret, by the way, is learning and retaining, to the depths of your soul, that teenage girls (and the identified "female fandom traits") are not the devil. no shit, it was that simple. and it's not that hard, because teen girls looking to have fun are not, in fact, the devil. thnak you
addendum: i quite literally propose we start telling 20 year olds they are the cancer killing fandoms, not 12 year old girls. 12 year old girls do a yaoi shipping and make some beginner-level ocs, sure, but 20 year olds turn harmless fun-having into some heinous crime that only pondscum would engage in. 20 year old elitists are literally ruining fandoms, not some kid shipping jeff the killer and her oc. tell them so. starting now >:'/