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Because these boys would make some really hot babes, ok??

Same personalities, only enhanced with boobs. Cartman is still a manipulatively evil motherfucker, Stan is still a pussy, Kyle's still pissy, and Kenny...well Kenny is Kenny.

I'm using their original names, but describing them with feminine pronouns. It's going to sound weird, just deal.

Cartman may be plump, but she carries herself with confidence. And if you got something to say about it? Then fuck you, buddy, because she will mess your shit up. She gets everything she wants and people hang out with her because...no one knows why. She's Cartman.

Stan is lean. Like, "girl go eat something" lean. She's healthy, it's just her diet. I think she actually would be a vegetarian, and when she's not outright going insane over ~being nice to nature~ she's quietly mumbling things like "animals are just so beautiful" through her veggie burger.

Kyle has some goddamned thighs and a goddamned beautiful ass that everyone at the school knows about. GOD DAMN. And if you so much as look at her the wrong way, you are fucking doomed. She don't take no one's shit. (The same rule applies for Stan. Mess with her, and Kyle will be up your ass.) Speaking of Stan, they are the besties of the motherfucking school. We're talking friendship bracelets, those stupid hearts-cut-in-half necklaces that say "best" and "friends" - THE GODDAMNED WORKS. Boys have given up asking them out because FUCK YOU it's a sleepover night at Stan's house, GOT A PROBLEM??

Kenny is thin like Stan, only it's the unhealthy kind where she just looks worn out all the time. But don't worry, she steals some of Cartman's food at lunch (since she gets like 5 lunches CUZ GIRL'S GOTTA EAT). And, when Cartman retrieves her food after noticing that it's missing, Stan and Kyle generously give her some. She loves dating, and she loves sex even more, so she's gained a reputation. But don't start thinking she's a whore - she's a girl who knows what she wants and GETS what she wants. Bitch has standards, fool.

And that's about it. I could go on about these fabulous dames, but fuck you, I'm not.

South Park © Stone n' Parker
Image © ~KippyTheGreat

Description
Because these boys would make some really hot babes, ok??

Same personalities, only enhanced with boobs. Cartman is still a manipulatively evil motherfucker, Stan is still a pussy, Kyle's still pissy, and Kenny...well Kenny is Kenny.

I'm using their original names, but describing them with feminine pronouns. It's going to sound weird, just deal.

Cartman may be plump, but she carries herself with confidence. And if you got something to say about it? Then fuck you, buddy, because she will mess your shit up. She gets everything she wants and people hang out with her because...no one knows why. She's Cartman.

Stan is lean. Like, "girl go eat something" lean. She's healthy, it's just her diet. I think she actually would be a vegetarian, and when she's not outright going insane over ~being nice to nature~ she's quietly mumbling things like "animals are just so beautiful" through her veggie burger.

Kyle has some goddamned thighs and a goddamned beautiful ass that everyone at the school knows about. GOD DAMN. And if you so much as look at her the wrong way, you are fucking doomed. She don't take no one's shit. (The same rule applies for Stan. Mess with her, and Kyle will be up your ass.) Speaking of Stan, they are the besties of the motherfucking school. We're talking friendship bracelets, those stupid hearts-cut-in-half necklaces that say "best" and "friends" - THE GODDAMNED WORKS. Boys have given up asking them out because FUCK YOU it's a sleepover night at Stan's house, GOT A PROBLEM??

Kenny is thin like Stan, only it's the unhealthy kind where she just looks worn out all the time. But don't worry, she steals some of Cartman's food at lunch (since she gets like 5 lunches CUZ GIRL'S GOTTA EAT). And, when Cartman retrieves her food after noticing that it's missing, Stan and Kyle generously give her some. She loves dating, and she loves sex even more, so she's gained a reputation. But don't start thinking she's a whore - she's a girl who knows what she wants and GETS what she wants. Bitch has standards, fool.

And that's about it. I could go on about these fabulous dames, but fuck you, I'm not.

South Park © Stone n' Parker
Image © ~KippyTheGreat