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KoolKaren — First Date
#forcedfeminization
Published: 2015-01-17 19:50:08 +0000 UTC; Views: 71946; Favourites: 344; Downloads: 518
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Description
It is quite a puzzle to write a story that won't have an obvious ending to it. Hopefully I was able to get away with it in this one. What do you think?As always, the pic is not mine.
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Comments: 14
Ha! That sounds like something I would say, just to mess with my sister. Wonderful discovery she's having of herself.
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I am not sure I quite got the ending. If Bobby wants to marry Glenn, then why does the dress need to be ugly?
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LOL. It is a common trope for bridesmaid dresses to be ugly.
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Yes, although my wife spent a lot of time trying to come up with something that her bridesmaids wouldn't be ashamed to wear in public at a non-wedding function. Harder than you would think, ha ha.
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Uhm... yes, the ending wasn't obvious. Success! But having someone propose on a first date actually feels more unrealistic than having a guy dress up (for the first time?) and come out looking so cute. Characters have to behave in believable ways and these ones don't.
(Yes, I guess it's possible for someone to propose on a first date, but Glenn would have to be either really desperate or some kind of psycho, and from what we're told he doesn't come across that way. And why would Bobby agree so easily? That seems out of character as well.)
Sorry, I don't mean to be mean. I usually just skim most captions I come across, but yours I read all the way through. So you're certainly doing a lot of things right.
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I definitely see your point, and I guess I wasn't able to convey the story properly. I was trying to follow the chain events of...
a) expressing initial indignation at being asked to do something unpleasant
b) doing it
c) finding out that it is actually enjoyable.
...without giving away that c) occurred until the end. The sister obviously helped in his feminization (Bobby was wearing her clothes) so he could certainly get away with looking so good from his first time dressing up. Bobby in his part obviously did something so incredibly overwhelming for Glenn (who had a mad crush for Bobby) that he proposed to Bobby, but I couldn't say that because it would give away the punchline. I was hoping that showing how hot Bobby looked as a girl would have been enough to flesh that part of the story out.
i suppose this one isn't one of my better captions. Sorry
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Don't apologize. Just keep at it. Seriously, you have nothing to apologize for. Your caps are far more readable than most.
The real problem here is that there isn't enough room to develop the characters enough to make the ending feel appropriate for who they are. In any story, the toughest thing is to create an ending that feels surprising (or surprising enough) to the reader when they first get there, but then afterward feels not only appropriate but almost inevitable. That's what writers are always striving for, and it ain't easy.
I have a pile of incomplete caps that have yet to see the light of day because they don't feel right to me. Either the ending fails to surprise (even in some small way), or it lacks a clever turn of phrase, or the humor hasn't found its proper rhythm. Some wait for days/weeks/months until the right inspiration comes along; others I just give up on. My motto is: don't force it. If it doesn't feel right, put it aside and work on something else. If the cap is meant to be, the ideas will come.
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Already engaged after the first date he must of had a great time
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(Sigh) Another day, another brilliant caption from KoolKaren. Nice little twist at the end; it wasn't obvious at all. Next caption, Bobby's wedding?
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