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L1light2zero3 — insane? its only the beginning
Published: 2011-07-13 22:43:52 +0000 UTC; Views: 101; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 0
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INSANITYInsanity…. not a fun thing to go through…
you start to see things that arent real.. you hear them
have doubts about reality cant tell whats real and whats not…
everything you draw or think pops out of your mind..
you cant stop them you feel them, you hold them, you talk to them,
you are them…. they kill people and eat animals…. they scare you, haunt you, they yell at you. what cann you do when they dont leave you alone. the only time you save is when your around a human soul your scared to do anything…. there is no end to it.
Scared that people would look at you different just cause your weird and Creepy it kinda hard not to be creepy… its just a normal thing to do… i guess. you wish for it to stop and you beg for it to stop.. but it just keeps coming back. i just dont know what to do anymore… ill yell and scream for them to go but no. you seem normal around people but if they could see what you see... they would want to die. some people just have to g though it... i as well.
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Comments: 15
sorry.. i got a little mean there...
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No. it's alright.
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i get out of hand alot...
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no. It's fine. I don't care if you scream at me hateful words or anything. Whether it's typed words or not. you'll always be a good friend.
because you're actually at least talking to me unlike a lot of people i know. Mostly my family. don't even give me attention. In less i'm in trouble, we're going somewhere, or they want me to do something.
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yeah i know how that shit is... ill tell you about if when i see you i dont want anyone on the internet to know about my life outside.
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Ok. I understand.
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....you have no idea how it is...
you have no idea how it is to be scared all the time
you have no idea how it is when your own creation trys to kill you every day
you have no idea how it is to just try and act normal all the fucking time with them SCREAMING AT YOU ALL THE FUCKING TIME! STARING INTO YOU like your just nothing!
i dont ever feel safe.. i might say that but i dont... you dont know how it feels to be going insane
its one of the worst feeling in the world.. i wish i would end. but i wont tell i die.
but i not going to kill myself just cause of them! believe me you have no fucking idea how it feels..
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No. i do.
I'm just. really good at covering it up because i've been going through this shit for years.
Who says i'm not scared all the time? I hate being alone because that's when they're worse. It feels like your soul is being crushed, like your whole body is having numbing pain but your body will not numb to it no matter what.
You think i don't know? since i was born i've been freaking messed up.
theres about ten things in my head that want to kill me. and pop up and make me hallucinate. It makes me scared to have friends. i think i might lose it and hurt them.
I just wish everyone would just hate me and outcast me like they used to do. so i could be alone. so i don't have to fear of losing it in front of them. it's easier for me to just be freaking alone.
I wish everyone would hate me so i could just leave. Maybe in death i don't really fucking know i just want to leave. I want love but i'm also scared.
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dude you have to realize also even if they are trying to kill you they re also you r
best frucking friends they know everything about.... i men every little think!
and that how they wake you up and or keeps you up all day night and week! or how ever long it is...
your never are alone! cause they are always around!
how would you want to be alone if you go on the internet and is becoming famous and have a girlfriend
and have such great friend. i mean really. i go one here cause i want to be famous for my art and i am sure you do to cause your awesome at it. i mean i only go on two things and i really only go on here for like you, lydia and lucas and thats about it. and some other people i talk to. but i mean i still and not that famous as you are on here and on facebook. i dont even go on there. i am just scared for people to know me and see because because stuff like this happens well.. im not in a mad mood i just am trying to to hurt any ones feelings.. BUT! knowing me i probably did. anyways Fucked up messed up? insane? its all just the beginning really.. i am far ahead form insane..
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I dun know i'm just scared of myself. Maybe you're right. *sighs* I got all these people who somehow got to love me, jashin knows how, and i can't just leave them and theres probably no way i can make them hate me. for they've sticked with me this far.
I'm just getting really confused. and the world is just fucked up. and i have all these things piercing at my skull. I'm starting to lose myself to all the things they constantly carve into my skull.
And i'm not really famous.. I'm just friendly. I don't know why but for some reason i make friends easily even when they completely disagree with my views.
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yes we all know this world is fucked up and i am sorry if i hurt your feelings
i was going a little mad last night and well yeah.
i know the world is hard and i know you get stressed out alot!
but really just relax man! thats all i have to do i dont understand why i didnt do that
last night! do something that keeps your mind off things and i know that can be hard as well.
you might not be that famous but you are way more than i will ever be!
also if things are bugging you that muh write them down draw a picture of your self and write down the things that bug you around you BUT! keep it to your self and reread it and you will understand more what is bugging you so you can stop it thats what i do all the time... unless its me going mad..
sorry again.. i wasnt myself all to much
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You didn't hurt my feelings.
And i have a suicidal journal i write in. It helped a while. But then i lost it, then i found it again. maybe i should write in it again.
No need to say sorry. it's alright.
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okay 
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