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Published: 2008-05-14 01:45:05 +0000 UTC; Views: 175; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 2
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Terry was lying in his bed, looking at the ceiling. Gordon was on the bunk below him, making rustling noises. The lamp was on.“Terry. Terry. Terry.”
“What, Gordon. What.”
“I've been thinking.”
“Good for you.”
There was silence. Then, Gordon said, “Aren't ya gonna ask me what I've been thinking about?”
“Ok, I'll bite. What've you been thinkin' about, Gordon?”
“The fourth wall.”
“What, you mean this one right here?” He tapped the wall to his left.
“No. The fourth wall. Like... a cartoon character that says something about how he's in a cartoon. That's called 'breaking the fourth wall'.”
“And what have you been thinking about, specifically?”
“How come the little cartoon guy or whatever never ceases to exist?”
Terry raised an eyebrow that Gordon couldn't see. “What?”
“I mean, he just made a reference to something that he should never know about. It'd be like me knowing exactly what color God's underwear was today, providing that God actually wears underwear.”
“Why would knowing what color God's underwear was cause immediate cessation of existence for the knower?”
“Because you'd have immediate, intimate knowledge of your creator. As well as being able to find an exact comparison of things between how things on this world work, and another, higher plane of existence. That comparison, you'd think, would be impossible, if the second plane is indeed higher.”
“... What exactly are you diving at, Gordon?”
“I think we should try it.”
“What?!”
“I think we should try breaking the fourth wall.”
“But we're not in any kind of cartoon or anything. That's impossible.”
“That can't stop me from trying. Remember, I'm a genius. Let me concentrate on getting some fourth-wall knowledge for a second.”
Terry humored him. “Alright. Go for it.”
There was silence while Gordon gathered his impossible, universe-bending thoughts together.
He said, “Our entire conversation has been exactly 24 paragraphs long, counting this one. That's if you count hitting 'Tab' as a paragraph.”
“You could have just been counting this entire time. And you can't prove it. It's not like you have printouts.”
"No. But I do know that you raised your eyebrow after I asked 'how come the cartoon guy never ceases to exist'. The right one.”
Terry raised another eyebrow.
“Left one, this time.”
“Gordon, how the hell are you doing that?”
“I read it.”
“Read it WHERE?”
“That 'where' was in capitals.”
Terry sighed. “Gordon, really. You could have just been guessing my reactions. It's not that hard.”
Hey, Terry. Check this out.
“Holy shit!”
I know. I took my quotation marks off. Cool, huh?
“It's like you're speaking perpendicularly to the dimension my ears are in!”
I know. Isn't it awesome?
“Gordon. You have to cut that out. You're bound to make SOMETHING angry. SOMETHING, I would imagine, wouldn't appreciate you messing around with the mechanics of the Universe. Cut it out.”
Aw. Fine. “Is this better?”
“Yes. Much. I was starting to get some kind of soul hemorrhaging, I think. How did you do that?”
“Ida know. I just kinda... thought about it.”
“Gordon. You have to promise me you'll never do anything like that again. That's really dangerous. At least, I think it is.”
Gordon poked Terry with a badger that wasn't really there. Ha. Take THAT, Terry.
“Hey! That felt like a badger!”
Gordon started messing around with Terry's hair. Hey, look, I made a goldfish.
“Gordon! I can feel the Universe slipping to the left! You have to stop!”
Gordon made a butterfly out of his blanket. It was the color of rancid pea- Hey. What the hell is going on here. I felt a juxtaposition in the fluxy... thing. What's happening?
“Is that you, God?”
In a way. What the hell is going on here?
Gordon poked Terry again, this time with an alligator.
Hey. That's completely illegal. I'm locking your quotation marks back on. I hate it when they figure out how to do this.
“Gordon started to protest- wait. Huh? Why isn't it working?”
“Oh, thank God. Specifically, You, Mr. God, Sir.”
Call me Lord. That one's my favorite. How long has he been doing this?
“Um... I'd give it around three minutes, Lord.”
Alright. That's fixable, at least. Do both of you feel alright?”
“No,” Gordon pouted. “Hey, I'm not pouting! That's mean!”
“I think I have a little case of soul hemorrhaging.”
Oh. I knew that. Here. Terry felt a plastic bottle of soul-antibiotics slide into his hand from nowhere.
“No, I didn't. Wait. Oh, wow! There it is. Thanks, Lord.”
No problem. Gordon, I hope you behave yourself from here on out. I wouldn't have to lock you in the [impossible word deleted]. That would really suck.
“Hmph. Alright. So much for higher knowledge.”
Good. I'm off. And remember. The fourth wall is there for a REASON. Good night, you two. The mysterious Lord disappeared in a cloud of mysterious... stuff.
The light shut off for no reason. Terry said, “I guess we'd better go to sleep like the Lord said. Right? That's like the matron of matrons giving the biggest 'lights out' ever.”
“Yeah, whatever. Good night, I guess.”
Terry's head his the pillow and his eyes shut. He let the darkness of sleep overcome him, and he drifted off into a quiet, yet extremely thoughtful, slumber.
“I can still hear you, Lord.”
Oh, damn. Forgot to turn the damn thing off. Sorry. Night, guys.
Click.
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Comments: 5
SonyaSierra [2008-05-31 01:42:05 +0000 UTC]
YES!!! What a creative piece! That totally broke down the 4th wall!!! Awesome! Epic!! You win!!!!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
LikeBlue [2008-05-14 05:44:14 +0000 UTC]
indeed it is silly, but good for stepping outside the box. : )
nice piece of fun stuff.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Latest-Model In reply to kiwi-damnation [2008-05-14 05:29:20 +0000 UTC]
Indeed. Thanks again.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0