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Description
Ever since I can remember
I've always had, big hands

The kind of hands
That only stand out when held
Or when shook
Or when made into a fist
And it was because of this
That life passed me by for a while

Because they were never held
Seldom shook,
And never made into a fist

But the thing about having, big hands
Is that no matter how hard you try
They become very hard to hide

With careless hands passing through them
Green bands and burn
Scars, cuts, and bruises

You forget these hands were made for holding
So you tie them behind you
To keep them from growing

Years of abuse leaves them scared
Dragging my knuckles
Across school grounds and bars

All I learned of pain and stress
Etched into these, big hands

Big hands and big hearts

Big targets

And it was a target
Burned and bleeding
Unable to cauterize
Unable to stop the blood flow
Unable to let go

Unable to hold water
In these big hands

So how was I suppose to hold love?

That flows so much more freely
Like mist in the forest
Like strands of silk through trees
And these things I told myself,
With my big hands over my face
I told myself
To my heart
To my head
That love would never live here
And I brushed a tear
The ones that burn
And churn like butter
In my stomach
First like a spark
Then like a fire
The fire inside
To fight the dark
Inside me; inside her

So that's what I said
To you,
To her,
To myself,
And the hate in me grew
Because it couldn't flow
It was given seed and water
Let to sow and grow
Inside a great big goddamn heart
Clenching fist
Under grey skies
Shattered windows
Masquerading as eyes

I'll unclench them
For someone worthy
Someone who demands
A big heart full of scars and love,
And these big hands.

Description
Ever since I can remember
I've always had, big hands

The kind of hands
That only stand out when held
Or when shook
Or when made into a fist
And it was because of this
That life passed me by for a while

Because they were never held
Seldom shook,
And never made into a fist

But the thing about having, big hands
Is that no matter how hard you try
They become very hard to hide

With careless hands passing through them
Green bands and burn
Scars, cuts, and bruises

You forget these hands were made for holding
So you tie them behind you
To keep them from growing

Years of abuse leaves them scared
Dragging my knuckles
Across school grounds and bars

All I learned of pain and stress
Etched into these, big hands

Big hands and big hearts

Big targets

And it was a target
Burned and bleeding
Unable to cauterize
Unable to stop the blood flow
Unable to let go

Unable to hold water
In these big hands

So how was I suppose to hold love?

That flows so much more freely
Like mist in the forest
Like strands of silk through trees
And these things I told myself,
With my big hands over my face
I told myself
To my heart
To my head
That love would never live here
And I brushed a tear
The ones that burn
And churn like butter
In my stomach
First like a spark
Then like a fire
The fire inside
To fight the dark
Inside me; inside her

So that's what I said
To you,
To her,
To myself,
And the hate in me grew
Because it couldn't flow
It was given seed and water
Let to sow and grow
Inside a great big goddamn heart
Clenching fist
Under grey skies
Shattered windows
Masquerading as eyes

I'll unclench them
For someone worthy
Someone who demands
A big heart full of scars and love,
And these big hands.