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“Mark!” Jack called, bursting into the living room.

“Hm?” Mark questioned, “What’s wrong?”

Jack pulled the other on the couch and sat next to him. “Time for a history lesson!”

“What in the living hell do you mean?” the red head raised an eyebrow, looking at Jack like he was insane.

The Irishmen smiled, throwing his arms in the air. “We’re gonna learn about July fourth!”

“Oh Jesus Christ not again.”

“YES AGAIN!” Jack insisted, getting up and grabbing a white board. Using a red marker, he drew little stick men and pointed to them. “So back in seventeen-whatever the pilgrims discovered America right? But--”

“You can’t even remember the fucking year?” Mark interrupted.

“SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISH!” Jack demanded. He then grabbed a blue marker to draw a big face, teeth crooked, eyes crossed and a cup of tea next to it. He pointed to the figure and continued his tale. “Okay so then, these British dudes were like, “Oi, make us money you pilgrim fucks.” But we weren’t gonna take their shit so--”

“Wait, wait, wait..” Mark cut him off once again, “You’re telling me that the Brits had bad dental hygiene, bad eyes and a fuck ton of tea with them at all times?”

“Yes,” the foreigner went on, “That’s exactly what I’m telling you.” He erased everything with his thumb and using both markers, drew an American flag. “Anyway we weren’t going to take their shit so we ditched them and became---” he paused, taking a deep breath, “AMERICANS!”

“So what happened after that, babe?”

“Great question, dear!” Jack smiled. “Once we became Americans, we gained powers of greatness! Eating-ness! GOODNESS! GRACIOUS!” Jack paused again, a serious expression formed on his face. “But then there was a war and everyone died.”

Mark pouted, hanging his head down. “You mean the Americans lost?”

“No, no,” Jack corrected, “Everyone except the Americans died! We beat those Brits so that they weren’t even recognizable by their own moms, and then we uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh--”

“And then we what?”

“BECAME KING OF THE WORLD!” Jack cheered, erasing the American flag on the white board and drawing himself as a king.

“And what happened next Jacky?” Mark inquired, now sounding like a young child being read a bed time story.

“Finally,” Jack began, drawing a tiny paper in the corner of the board and pointing to it, “The declaration of independence was signed in uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh eighteen…...No uhhhhhhhhhh nineteen......A long time ago! And that’s why we blow stuff up every year!”

“Wait Jacky…….What if….”

“What if what darling?” Jack looked at Mark, his expression was of utter confusion.

Mark then got up, walking so close to Jack that their faces touched. “What if the fireworks are just a ploy to hide the fact that we’re killing the aliens in space?”

Jack gasped, covering his mouth. “HOLY SHIT DUUUUUUUUUDE NO WAAAAAAAY!” He took a breath, tearing up slightly. “May you rest in piece aliens, I bet you were super cool.”

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body div#devskin0 hr { }

“Mark!” Jack called, bursting into the living room.

“Hm?” Mark questioned, “What’s wrong?”

Jack pulled the other on the couch and sat next to him. “Time for a history lesson!”

“What in the living hell do you mean?” the red head raised an eyebrow, looking at Jack like he was insane.

The Irishmen smiled, throwing his arms in the air. “We’re gonna learn about July fourth!”

“Oh Jesus Christ not again.”

“YES AGAIN!” Jack insisted, getting up and grabbing a white board. Using a red marker, he drew little stick men and pointed to them. “So back in seventeen-whatever the pilgrims discovered America right? But--”

“You can’t even remember the fucking year?” Mark interrupted.

“SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISH!” Jack demanded. He then grabbed a blue marker to draw a big face, teeth crooked, eyes crossed and a cup of tea next to it. He pointed to the figure and continued his tale. “Okay so then, these British dudes were like, “Oi, make us money you pilgrim fucks.” But we weren’t gonna take their shit so--”

“Wait, wait, wait..” Mark cut him off once again, “You’re telling me that the Brits had bad dental hygiene, bad eyes and a fuck ton of tea with them at all times?”

“Yes,” the foreigner went on, “That’s exactly what I’m telling you.” He erased everything with his thumb and using both markers, drew an American flag. “Anyway we weren’t going to take their shit so we ditched them and became---” he paused, taking a deep breath, “AMERICANS!”

“So what happened after that, babe?”

“Great question, dear!” Jack smiled. “Once we became Americans, we gained powers of greatness! Eating-ness! GOODNESS! GRACIOUS!” Jack paused again, a serious expression formed on his face. “But then there was a war and everyone died.”

Mark pouted, hanging his head down. “You mean the Americans lost?”

“No, no,” Jack corrected, “Everyone except the Americans died! We beat those Brits so that they weren’t even recognizable by their own moms, and then we uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh--”

“And then we what?”

“BECAME KING OF THE WORLD!” Jack cheered, erasing the American flag on the white board and drawing himself as a king.

“And what happened next Jacky?” Mark inquired, now sounding like a young child being read a bed time story.

“Finally,” Jack began, drawing a tiny paper in the corner of the board and pointing to it, “The declaration of independence was signed in uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh eighteen…...No uhhhhhhhhhh nineteen......A long time ago! And that’s why we blow stuff up every year!”

“Wait Jacky…….What if….”

“What if what darling?” Jack looked at Mark, his expression was of utter confusion.

Mark then got up, walking so close to Jack that their faces touched. “What if the fireworks are just a ploy to hide the fact that we’re killing the aliens in space?”

Jack gasped, covering his mouth. “HOLY SHIT DUUUUUUUUUDE NO WAAAAAAAY!” He took a breath, tearing up slightly. “May you rest in piece aliens, I bet you were super cool.”