HOME | DD

Description
I can't even write you a line
can't think of words strong enough
to describe what i feel
my anger,
my loss,
my pain,
my guilt
sinks my heart to my toes
my stomach churns with
nauseating threats
how many times
can i say i'm sorry
i should've replied,
should've listened
should've helped
but i didn't know
And you knew i needed you
you knew i wanted to see you
we had plans
did you forget?
this summer you said.
you wanted all my wishes to come true,
but they won't
i wished so hard to see you again
wished so hard it all wasn't real
it was a joke
cruel, cold and mean,
you've always been there,
i can't believe your just...
not anymore.
my heart can't stop spilling,
can't stop hurting,
and i'm afraid to show it
afraid to let people know
because they pity me.
feel sympathy for me
i don't want it
i want to pretend everythings fine
till i can be alone with my demons
and battle them myself
if only you were here to help me with them
its a load i'd gladly share
if it would only mean you'd be back
how many nights do i have to stay up
running through my head
the same old words,
i'm sorry,
i'm sorry,
before this will go away
when does the pain dull,
when can i sleep with peace,
without your haunting image
of smiles and love,
i can't accept
i'll never be able to share another
story, burden or fear with you
i won't accept it
i wish i could have you back
but i know, your pain would follow you here
and you'd be stuck with it all over again
perhaps i'd rather you free and lifeless
than trapped and confined by the mental pains
you endured for so long
this is my last apology,
my last goodbye.

Description
I can't even write you a line
can't think of words strong enough
to describe what i feel
my anger,
my loss,
my pain,
my guilt
sinks my heart to my toes
my stomach churns with
nauseating threats
how many times
can i say i'm sorry
i should've replied,
should've listened
should've helped
but i didn't know
And you knew i needed you
you knew i wanted to see you
we had plans
did you forget?
this summer you said.
you wanted all my wishes to come true,
but they won't
i wished so hard to see you again
wished so hard it all wasn't real
it was a joke
cruel, cold and mean,
you've always been there,
i can't believe your just...
not anymore.
my heart can't stop spilling,
can't stop hurting,
and i'm afraid to show it
afraid to let people know
because they pity me.
feel sympathy for me
i don't want it
i want to pretend everythings fine
till i can be alone with my demons
and battle them myself
if only you were here to help me with them
its a load i'd gladly share
if it would only mean you'd be back
how many nights do i have to stay up
running through my head
the same old words,
i'm sorry,
i'm sorry,
before this will go away
when does the pain dull,
when can i sleep with peace,
without your haunting image
of smiles and love,
i can't accept
i'll never be able to share another
story, burden or fear with you
i won't accept it
i wish i could have you back
but i know, your pain would follow you here
and you'd be stuck with it all over again
perhaps i'd rather you free and lifeless
than trapped and confined by the mental pains
you endured for so long
this is my last apology,
my last goodbye.