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levdir — Waiting
Published: 2009-03-03 17:16:25 +0000 UTC; Views: 305; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 3
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Description Today's snow
does not know
that I am waiting
for cold spring sunlight
early in the morning;

for frost on the new grass
and your hand on mine.
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Comments: 19

Sheltan [2009-03-28 02:32:08 +0000 UTC]

I dig, it has the hopefullness to it, the sense of predestination, that the snow will leave, winter will end and she will be there.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

LadySerpent [2009-03-09 19:47:56 +0000 UTC]

*Shivers* ...Aye, it's still cold here. Nice that you're inspired to write when you're cold; I just get inspired to sit in a hottub. Heat, though, inspires me to no end.

Seems like a sharp piece; the thought of 'cold spring sunlight' and 'frost on the new grass' give images of sharpness, perhaps just biting cold imagery. Interesting piece; it captures a lot for being so brief.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

levdir In reply to LadySerpent [2009-03-09 22:57:22 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. I think you doubled the poem's word count in your comment I love cold mornings after the snow is gone; wake up early and go wandering, yeah?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

conorschild [2009-03-06 20:19:12 +0000 UTC]

I think this is really nice. The idea of "today's snow" gives the idea that the narrator is just waiting until his love turns up. As well as, perhaps, impending mortality?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

levdir In reply to conorschild [2009-03-07 01:18:36 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. I tried to use the line about today's snow to give it a sense of place and immediacy.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

conorschild In reply to levdir [2009-03-07 02:05:34 +0000 UTC]

I can see that too, snows a very fleeting thing.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

levdir In reply to conorschild [2009-03-07 04:05:57 +0000 UTC]

Except here, where it won't bugger off until the middle of April ><

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

conorschild In reply to levdir [2009-03-07 08:54:00 +0000 UTC]

Hahaha yeah, I forgot about that

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

chocolate-neko [2009-03-06 00:38:49 +0000 UTC]

I enjoyed this, it was cute. I don't really understand why you divided it like you did, though.

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

conorschild In reply to chocolate-neko [2009-03-06 20:17:15 +0000 UTC]

I think the gap works well to mark the bridge between the description of the landscape and the shift towards that of the voices' lover. Kinda like a volta in a sonnet.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

chocolate-neko In reply to conorschild [2009-03-08 18:54:23 +0000 UTC]

Mm, I see it now.

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levdir In reply to chocolate-neko [2009-03-06 02:23:56 +0000 UTC]

I didn't have the space in originally, but I looked at both and liked the pause.

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Sydsquid [2009-03-04 02:23:42 +0000 UTC]

I miss snow

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

levdir In reply to Sydsquid [2009-03-04 02:50:37 +0000 UTC]

I've got lots to spare. I'll mail you some.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Sydsquid In reply to levdir [2009-03-05 02:49:53 +0000 UTC]

I'd appreciate that.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

dcschmo [2009-03-03 21:34:53 +0000 UTC]

Nice, I enjoyed. Funny thing, last time it got cold unexpectedly, I was moved to write for the first time in a while. I didn't, though.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

levdir In reply to dcschmo [2009-03-04 02:11:45 +0000 UTC]

Thanks. It's not cold; in fact it's the warmest it's been for a couple of weeks, thank god. It's just snowing again.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ToeGnome [2009-03-03 17:55:32 +0000 UTC]

poignant. snow makes me feel a similar nostalgia and resigned melancholy.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

levdir In reply to ToeGnome [2009-03-03 18:48:57 +0000 UTC]

It's that time of year

👍: 0 ⏩: 0