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lexidh — How to write an exciting blog1
Published: 2005-06-12 12:49:39 +0000 UTC; Views: 5925; Favourites: 75; Downloads: 1725
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How to write an exciting blog in 10 easy steps!1: Live an exciting life and write about that. If you don't have a great life, make up stuff you COULD have done during the day.
2: Update atleast once per day. You don't get those all important pageviews if people don't come back every day.
3: Provoke your readers. Politics is a great way to do that. If you live in the US; write about why you support Bin Laden. If you live anywhere else; write about why you support Bush. If that fails you can pretend to have homophobia, hate _all_ animals, be a racist or become a nazi.
4: Tell about your sexlife. If you don't have one, make one up. The more sexpartners, the better.
5: Write horrible things about your friends, family and coworkers. Don't leave anything out!
6: Take and post a lot of pictures, often. Clothes are no good, try to aviod those. If you don't own a camera you should steal other peoples pictures. You should atleast get a webcam to show off yourself, and your cat/dog/whatever. If you are eating something, take a picture of that too.
7: If another blog you read write about something you find stupid, don't let the author get away with it! Write your arguements in your blog and use a lot of nasty words that you link back to the blog in question. Remember to put that person down for weeks, and comment in that blog all the time with links back to you putting them down. Use trackback if possible.
8: You need a very cool username! Your real name doesn't do. Something with "sex" "666" "devil" "tears" "angel" or a lot of XxXxX in it should do.
9: Involve yourself in a huge project your readers can follow, like getting pregnant, build something large, plan a wedding or take over the world.
10: Tell EVERYONE you meet about your blog, both online and offline. Lots of readers and comments is the most important thing of all!
Good luck!
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Comments: 154
HAHA! nice one mate!¬ I know so many ppl that must follow these rules like religion when writting their blogs! nicely done ^^
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Wow... that's a side of myself I don't show on DA, I wonder why I wrote that? aheh...
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Lexi, your sense of humor is great
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Haha! You know, I daydream endlessly about all the things I'd do if I had nothing to lose; like scream an obscenity or something like "I like sex with animals!" in the middle of a meeting at the office.
Put food through the paper shredder and run off copies from a porn magazine and leave them on everyone's desk.
I'm a little heathen, though. So I think about things like that.
Also, I do things like that in little ways; not at work, but like I was at a hotel and before I left I made sure there were condoms and wrappers on the floor and in the bed, the coffee packets were stuffed in the coffee pot, all the soaps and shampoos were opened and left out, all the towels were used, the sheets and blankets were all on the floor, a chair was turned over among other things, and just to top it off I left the bible open on the pillow in the middle of the bed.
I didn't do any permanent damage, but I wanted them to wonder.
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Hahaha, I'll remember to do that the next time I leave a hotel!
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haha, some of those i already do for my blog, but now i'm going to try everything! ESPECIALLY the taking over the world part!
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Lmao, it's sad that a lot of people are like that. "people have to look at my sad pathetic life or else it will be non-existant!!!!"
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hahahahaha being addicted to bloging i find that increadiably amusingl.
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lol, funny. visit my blog at xanga.com/absolutions_kiss see i'm following step 10! I learn fast, lol.
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lol, well what can I say?
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That's so funny, it might actually work 
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3: Provoke your readers. Politics is a great way to do that.
Hey, I did that in my LiveJournal when Bush won for the second time and a bunch of angry americans snapped out at me, writing stuff like "Don't insult us! Bush is great! Who cares that he's trying to demolish forests and killing people? He's GREAT!"
So, yea, it works. And the sex part works too 
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LOL! so that's why ppl never read my blogs
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very funny!
but number 8 should be moved to number one and everything should be shoved down a bit...its just a personal prefrence but it seems out of place
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Oh well I am doomed. I live a BORING life. I have no IMAGINATION. And I am ASEXUAL. Not to mention that my MOTHER, BROTHER, and my NIECES and NEPHEWS read my blogs. So I can't go along and make up CRAP either. SIGH...I guess I have to read yours.
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If you want to read mine you need to learn norwegian
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Teehee, love it...but y'know, you won't be able to write a newer version...cos then you'll be as bad as them!
No, actually, it's a good idea, and i like the fact that you're expanding your already amazing artistic collection with some writing
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I do a lot of writing, but not i english... Trying to change that...
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Lots of the 'emo' bloggers do this stuff....bang bang
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Great 
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It's a nice start, but you've really just regurgitated a lot of common knowledge on what not to do- sounds more like you're actually complaining about people who use these topics than trying to be funny.
Try and make more of a joke out of it.
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Couldn't find a "rant" category
Got any actual input?
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Hee hee hee. You should go practice rule #7 now. *evil delighted grin*
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oh this could be fun.... veeeeeerrrrrry fun...
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hehe
most of them might work here as well I guess..
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oh ok
"3: Provoke your readers. Politics is a great way to do that. If you live in the US; write about why you support Bin Laden. If you live anywhere else; write about why you support Bush. If that fails you can pretend to have homophobia, hate _all_ animals, be a racist or become a nazi."
yeah i'll become a nazi, ill support bin laden
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i'll start that now
*scratches head*
heil hitler
lets go do some suicide bombing plans on bush
lol
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Oh man! What was I thinking! I could have just posted every detail I know about everyone I've ever had sex with! Man, this could take all summer...I'm up for it!!!
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I was gonna say something, but then I saw it was placed in the Satire category. For a moment I thought you were being rather ignorant, but as I read on, I thought "no... this CANNOT be serious!" and seeing the category confirmed it wasn't. 
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Haha, would be fun if you didn't see what category it was in
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Hahahaha.
Too funny, and sadly too true for most people with blogs. XD
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This is hilarious. xD You smart person you, you would do perfect as a teacher.
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I hate kids to an extent that you wouldn't believe, and I have a 4-year-old in my house x.X
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Lmao, you missed off inserting random words at innappropriate places so that reader question you.
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I want to read your Japanese pen pal's blog o.o
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Haha, I've never tried that in my own blog. Sounds like two fun ideas.
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Ahah!
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