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lexidh β How to write an exciting blog1
Published: 2005-06-12 12:49:39 +0000 UTC; Views: 5925; Favourites: 75; Downloads: 1725
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How to write an exciting blog in 10 easy steps!1: Live an exciting life and write about that. If you don't have a great life, make up stuff you COULD have done during the day.
2: Update atleast once per day. You don't get those all important pageviews if people don't come back every day.
3: Provoke your readers. Politics is a great way to do that. If you live in the US; write about why you support Bin Laden. If you live anywhere else; write about why you support Bush. If that fails you can pretend to have homophobia, hate _all_ animals, be a racist or become a nazi.
4: Tell about your sexlife. If you don't have one, make one up. The more sexpartners, the better.
5: Write horrible things about your friends, family and coworkers. Don't leave anything out!
6: Take and post a lot of pictures, often. Clothes are no good, try to aviod those. If you don't own a camera you should steal other peoples pictures. You should atleast get a webcam to show off yourself, and your cat/dog/whatever. If you are eating something, take a picture of that too.
7: If another blog you read write about something you find stupid, don't let the author get away with it! Write your arguements in your blog and use a lot of nasty words that you link back to the blog in question. Remember to put that person down for weeks, and comment in that blog all the time with links back to you putting them down. Use trackback if possible.
8: You need a very cool username! Your real name doesn't do. Something with "sex" "666" "devil" "tears" "angel" or a lot of XxXxX in it should do.
9: Involve yourself in a huge project your readers can follow, like getting pregnant, build something large, plan a wedding or take over the world.
10: Tell EVERYONE you meet about your blog, both online and offline. Lots of readers and comments is the most important thing of all!
Good luck!
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Comments: 154
There is a version with even more "helpful hints" in my gallery
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This needs a spell check, maybe rerun it? For example, "atleast" should be two words, and "other peoples pictures" is wrong in many ways. Try "someone else's pics" or "the pictures of other people". "Read write" should just be "read" and "arguements" should be "arguments". There's more, I'm sure, but that's some. Otherwise, I like!
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That is the old version btw
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really, whoops, can you give me the link to the new version?
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It`s somewhere in my messy gallery
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This is absolutely hilarious. If you find the time, you've got to do more.
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There is a longer version in my gallery!
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This is great you just gave me a inspiration on a process essay 
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I may just come to you from now on when i want something different 
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Do you want a more exciting online life? Ever heard of a Blog? There are so many different topics to write about lately. From Brittany Spears and K-Feds personal life and relationship to what the government is or is not doing. Many bloggers become famous just for expressing theirs opinions and writing about others. Are you ready for the steps to succeed as a popular blogger?
Step one, live an exciting life and write about it. If you donβt have a life, make one up. Write about things you COULD have done all day. Step two, Donβt forget to update you blog at least once a day. You donβt get all those important page views if people donβt come back everyday. There are different ways to get attention from others in a blog, for example, step three. Provoke you readers. Politics is a great way to do that. If you live in the U.S., write about why you support Bin Laden. If you live anywhere else, write about how and why you support Bush. If that fails, then pretend to have homophobia, hate all animals, be a racist, or just become a Nazi.
Step four, Tell everything about your sex life. If you donβt have one, read a hot steamy romance novel and start making a sex life up. Remember, the more sex partners, the better! Step five, write about the horrible stuff on your family, friends, and co-workers. Leave nothing out! Step six, Take and post a lot of pictures often. If you do not own a camera, then go ask to use others pictures and credit them, or just be bad and steal them. However, you should at least get a web cam and show yourself off all the time, and maybe your dog/cat/whatever too. If your eating something, show that off too, especially if it looks disgusting.
Another great way of keeping your readers wanting more is with step seven. If another blog you read writes about something that you find dumb, donβt let the author get away with it! Write your arguments in your blog and use a lot of nasty words saying what you think about it.
Pallack 2 Make sure you leave a link to where you are referring to. Remember to put that person down for weeks and make sure to leave them comments linking back to what you have to say. Try to use track back if possible, itβs a tool to track who people are and where they are form.
In step eight, you should make sure you have an extremely cool username. Your real name wonβt do. It should be something to do with βsexβ, βdevilβ, βtearsβ, or just a lot of βXxXxXβ in it. Step nine, involve yourself in a big project that your readers can follow along with for some time. Such as getting pregnant, building something big, planning a wedding, or maybe just world domination. The most important step is step ten. Tell EVERYONE you meet, online and offline, about your blog. Lotβs of readers and comments is the most important thing of all!
With these ten easy steps you will be on your way to the top in no time! Youβll be loved and hated by all, but most importantly, youβll be known. . Now you have even more to write about to keep your readers loving your blogs. You could even be the next host one the VMAβs or Movie awards if you become that popular! Now that you have read the steps to a more exciting and popular online life, Good Luck!!
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Haha, wonderful! Thanks for letting me read it!
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'If you live anywhere else; write about why you support Bush'
Lol. Hilarious.
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Thanks
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and that ones even funnier!
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that is incredibly hilarious
glad i stumbled across ya
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You should read the newer version! It's in my gallery
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Go find the new version in my gallery, and follow even more great steps there
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It's 15 steps now, you can find it in my gallery... somewhere..
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hahahahahahahahahahaha!!! that totally made my day reading that! 
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I can't believe I put off reading this for so long! omg! 
I love it!
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Brilliant. Simply brilliant. But I also agree with Velvet-penguin, that something random catches attention ^^
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Hehe, thanks
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Oh my goodness. You took the main themes from all of the Xangas and LiveJournals I've ever seen and just stated them. Who'd've though it'd be so damn funny?
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Can I post this on my blog? I know some people that have done some of these things and it would be a great way to poke fun at them!
Look! I'm following your tip!
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Ok. . .if I can ever figure out how to do that right, I will!
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can i translate it to polish (my language) and put it on my deviantart site so more people would know how to write exciting and popular blogs?
of course with link to orginal version
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