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LightningTheFox7 β Split Personalities (Hydra TF + Story) - Page 5/5
Published: 2014-05-11 03:51:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 15909; Favourites: 101; Downloads: 36
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Description
All done at least I have control this timeI stretch my large body out which is now easy to control with my new mind my far left head stretches down and picks up the statue in its mouth and sets it on the stand as I curl my tail around it. I cross my front legs and feet proud of my new self. The statues work was complete creating the perfect guardian to protect it and all the other artifacts.
I eventually learned I could control this transformation, I would use it just in time every night I worked my shift, and what a power it was to have to become such a creature, venomous deadly blood, a impenetrable hide, strong tail, and venomous fangs. No one would ever dare to rob this museum with me as its new guardian. If anyone did try anything there was no way they would get past 5 heads I was now the best security guard on the planet and damn proud of it as I lay there grinning, the only problem is in this form I worked up a huge appetite and craving for beef so I always picked up a hamburgerβ¦.. or a few dozen before work before the transformation, guess the history books were right about something hydras love there beef and I got to keep all my heads happy. Β
Art By: all credit to him posted with his permission
Story By: me
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Comments: 17
I love the malicious expression on the faces of all of the heads.
Would the changes happen to someone else who touched the statue?
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I don't see why not
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Never! I know your weakness...
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You will die horribly
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I think theres a gap between the 4th and 5th page where the 5th head come through. great story though and credit to the artist too
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You are a truly exceptional writer, at least by this site's standards. Though I see a problem consistently popping up in your writing. You repeatedly separate, independent thoughts not with a full stop, but rather with a comma. Sometimes you ever forgo the comma, in favour of no punctuation mark at all. It's a very regrettable blemish on otherwise solid writing.
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Grammar was never my specialty but thanks for letting me know I will try and work on it
You really think it's good?
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I think your stories are very good, especially for this site's standards. Though your reply here contains an instance of exactly what I was talking about.
"Grammar was never my specialty but thanks for letting me know I will try and work on it"
These are two distinct thoughts that aren't separated by a full stop. After the word "know," you stop thanking me, and start telling me you'll try to improve. These two things should be separated by a full stop. There should also be a full stop at the end of the quote, while I'm at it.
As an aside, "specialty" is not a word. Speciality is the one you need there. Also, the word "but" is almost always preceded by a comma. The only exception to this rule I know is when you're using "but" to exclude something, i.e. "everything but the kitchen sink."
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well. the next sentence is complitly apropriat:
you belong in a musium!
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the rest is
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Me and you must team up so we can become rich
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