HOME | DD

Description

5.) Shaped for the Saloon

                                                                    How to Turn a Brainiac into a Bar Babe

            Tired of dealing with self-righteous, egghead killjoys de-constructing and publicly libeling your way of business as a tavern owner (especially regarding the presentation of the waitresses)? Well, with the help of the steps in this guide, you can turn a brainiac into a bar babe!

            1. Induce paralysis of subject using some form of hypnotic shock

            2. Inflate subject's body with air until the bodily proportions swell to ~2x their current size

            3. Introduce a steady supply of yeast into the inflated body through the oral injection of highly concentrated ale (which should be readily available in any tavern); The total quantity should be between 1 and 1.5 barrels depending on the subjects size

            4. As the yeast in the skin expands to fill the voids created by the compressed air from step 2, mold the body into your desired dimensions through the strategic and careful application pressure on the subject; Preparation time 30-60 min

            5. Brainwashing: Ensure now that her body matches her brain. Reach inside nasal cavity (skin should still be moist and flexible at this point) and pull female's brain out. Place in female's mouth, shake head for 15 sec and release wet brain into your hand

            6. Braindrying: Insert wet and bubbly brain into the (expanded) female's rectum and apply pressure to stomach to induce a steady flow of gas from the earlier induction of ale. Combination of pressure and warm air will cause brain to shrink like clothes in a dryer to ~50% of its old size!

            7. Insert shrunken brain back into head through ear

            8. Release from paralysis

Congratulations! You have turned a brainiac into a bar babe!

CAUTION: Post-modification subject will likely exhibit dizziness, high-pitched breathy tone, and increased erotic desires out of enhanced hormones and weakened mental inhibitions. Subject will feel significantly disoriented and confused and may require assistance in returning to her place of residence. If friend, relative, employer, or other acquaintance threatens to prosecute you over the subject's transformation, refer to the Public Nuisance Act of 2019.

Description

5.) Shaped for the Saloon

                                                                    How to Turn a Brainiac into a Bar Babe

            Tired of dealing with self-righteous, egghead killjoys de-constructing and publicly libeling your way of business as a tavern owner (especially regarding the presentation of the waitresses)? Well, with the help of the steps in this guide, you can turn a brainiac into a bar babe!

            1. Induce paralysis of subject using some form of hypnotic shock

            2. Inflate subject's body with air until the bodily proportions swell to ~2x their current size

            3. Introduce a steady supply of yeast into the inflated body through the oral injection of highly concentrated ale (which should be readily available in any tavern); The total quantity should be between 1 and 1.5 barrels depending on the subjects size

            4. As the yeast in the skin expands to fill the voids created by the compressed air from step 2, mold the body into your desired dimensions through the strategic and careful application pressure on the subject; Preparation time 30-60 min

            5. Brainwashing: Ensure now that her body matches her brain. Reach inside nasal cavity (skin should still be moist and flexible at this point) and pull female's brain out. Place in female's mouth, shake head for 15 sec and release wet brain into your hand

            6. Braindrying: Insert wet and bubbly brain into the (expanded) female's rectum and apply pressure to stomach to induce a steady flow of gas from the earlier induction of ale. Combination of pressure and warm air will cause brain to shrink like clothes in a dryer to ~50% of its old size!

            7. Insert shrunken brain back into head through ear

            8. Release from paralysis

Congratulations! You have turned a brainiac into a bar babe!

CAUTION: Post-modification subject will likely exhibit dizziness, high-pitched breathy tone, and increased erotic desires out of enhanced hormones and weakened mental inhibitions. Subject will feel significantly disoriented and confused and may require assistance in returning to her place of residence. If friend, relative, employer, or other acquaintance threatens to prosecute you over the subject's transformation, refer to the Public Nuisance Act of 2019.