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LostBlueDreams —
The Mask
Published: 2004-01-03 13:27:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 3606; Favourites: 48; Downloads: 1896
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Description
Yes, there once was a time,Where I wasn’t afraid,
To be myself,
And just to be me.
But now the years have past,
Onto a dreamless time,
Where I grow through the roots,
In a bottomless pit of anger.
I have the scars to prove it,
Both beneath the mind and…
Across my once frail flesh,
I fancy them I do, yes…
Proud to have caused pain,
Towards both family and friends,
What do they care?
I am just me after all.
Perhaps I should get rid of the mask,
That has hidden my identity for so long,
Oh, so long…
But I love it so much, I cuddle it, kiss it.
I cannot part with this mask,
For it has become a part of me,
It has overwhelm too much of my being,
What am I to do?
I cannot just throw it away,
No, hold it, pat it, fondle it,
I do love this mask,
But I also hate it with a passion.
What should I do?
Do I have a choice?
There is always a choice,
Perhaps then… I should die,
So I can be free of the mask.
And be me again.
LostBlueDreams~
Related content
Comments: 94
you got it ! i m pretty sure that everybody can feel what you wrote
anyway i do! sometimes it s like a game , sometimes it s like a jail .
none of my masks could fit your poem when all have been done to express the same message ... the power of words
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if u die than u have maskof eternity,, only alive u can get rid of masks of any kind................ love the song
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dun dun dun.. took the words right out of my mouth.. damit.
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I like this one better than most of the mask poems I have read. See I like this one with less description because that allows you to think of one yourself. It requires work to all ya lazy ppl out there. Anyway if you have one of your friends read it over and do a little proof reading you should post it again as a revised copy! 0_o
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great! i like this alot. didnt whant it to end, thought it was a good end. you´ ll get a Fav for this..
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great written. you need to get rid of that mask no matter how much you love it, no matter how much a part of you it has becomed.. what you need to do is finding something which can fill in the empty hole that will be when you somewhen, somehow has driven the mask away.. and this doesn't take a month.. it can easily take a year or 3..
again, nice poem!
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oh wow, i can really relate to that poem, as i am sure most others do. that is amazing. great writing you have here...glad to have come across it
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Congrats on your DailyDev, very lovely poem...I relate a great deal to the mask...matter of fact I was writting a poem about my mask when I decided to read this. Kina strange, eh congrats again... later~
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"hides the eternal struggle."
That got me hyped up 
"I think, 'where I grow through the roots' is just one powerful line in a poem which is so intense its understanding roars into the senses like a freight train."
That's ONE powerful line. I wouldn't dare compare it to a freight train though. I wish sto, wildoats and such ppl would critique my work
However, I hope you don't take it all in a bad way
oh and asides from what they've said here's some more specific critique- the mask itself is very spontaneous. In my first read, the first three stanzas had my attention. The rest of the poem wasn't as compelling, if at all. I went over it a few more times and to me it feels the fourth stanza, instead of serving to support the entry of the mask, breaks the poem apart. I fail to see how you jump from nice reflection to enflicting pain to *the* mask. there's no clear transition here. I really feel that this fourth stanza could shape the poem up if it was more like a bridge than a sinking stone besides two seperate series of stepping stones.
=/ hope i've helped
almost 7AM.. time for sleep!
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and of course by internal i meant eternal
-_-;;
yay for sleep deprivation!
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ok i hear what ur saying, its one of those 'painful truths' that as time goes by we have the need to conform to what others expect of us, putting on a 'mask' as u put it.its a good msg, everyone can relate but im afraid that the WAY uve expressed it isnt good.the first two stanzas are good enuff, but i agree with wildoats...ur just 'telling' ppl what it is..a poem needs to be able to make ppl FEEL it u know what i mean?im sorry but bland is the right word for it.but i also feel that if u truly apply urself u can really transform this into a superb peice of work..u just need to review it.
sorry if that was a bit harsh.
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geez damn...that just summed up my last few...ever...
beautiful...stunningly so
+fav
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yeahaa, this is the daily deviation today!
and it's worth it
great work
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ive nver read anything this close relating me...
love it, love it, absolutly love it...
u made my day...
blx :
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That is... AMAZING! You capture that feeling so well. At least I felt something... Im gonna have to check out your other work now
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Ignore any comments not by myself or Sto.
Look. This isn't good, at all. I mean, it's got a good message and all, but it's a terrible poem.
- bad grammar
- misuse of punctuation
- misuse of capitalization
- complete lack of imagery
- extreme excess/useless language
Sorry.
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dont forget the two people above you, who just said the same thing.
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Wops. Listen to wildoats as well.
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I'm glad you feel the same way.
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I'm glad you're aware of the problems. Fix them.
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i almost forgot that you own this sort of blatant honesty. did you get as far as line 3?
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The message? Yeah, it's a fine fucking message and all, but it has been told several times before, and several times through the same "mask" incarnation even. This is nothing new, nothing special. It trudges along at a slow pace, without any imagery, just telling, telling, telling.
Not much poetic value + not an original subject = not an interesting read. You need to spice it up somehow.
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this is absolutely wonderful!!!
this is great... this is so emotional!! this is.... just... great! is all I can say!
----------------------------
please check out my poems!
(only 3 so far)
~angel~
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Nice
Like this a lot
Think it aplies tp a lot of us
But most of us cannot express ourselves in this way
Especially like the poster
You are good
Nice
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I love the good/bad comparisons.Excellently written. I hate those masks myself sometimes.
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I think the last stanza should have remained at four lines instead of six. However, I don't think it affects the poem that much (What can I say, I like poetry with constant structure 
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what you are to yourself is not what you are to others
as long as what you are to others is good, you are a good person
theres too much telling in this though
not enough description/imagery/metaphor/similie
makes it a rather dry read, bland and simple
not quite poetic enough
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where a facade always sucks im glad your mature enough to know that you (along with 99% of this wolrd including myself) wears a mask at one point in time
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Good and honest poem. Glad you open that subject
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wow. (I say that so much. Screw it. You have a lovely poem, that I'm sure anyone can relate to at some degree. Like me, who can understand this to a great extent. There.)
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smash that mask! it is a hinderance, not a security blanket! very nice poem though. you brought the reality of people's unfortunate fight with their inner-selves to light. and you did it very well.
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well most security blankets are hinderances, as i see it...just something to make you feel safer and to hide behind, but you get dependant on it and it then is a hinderance...
but on a different note, the poem had a few nice lines in it....but through it all, i was very bored...same subject as many many other poems, and it was told the same way as many other poems...and it seemed drawn out, as if you were trying to reach a length requirement...maybe you should try a different approach to this, try something unique and dont make it seem forced...i hope this helps
--Twitchtwitch--
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Oh... It's so good. I really love this one. *smile*
Makes me think to... I just don't know what about...
everything... It's very deep.
I love it! *hug*
~~~Neko~~~
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there always a way to be set free, its easier to change then to change back, but theres always a way, just talk to old friends, do old things, and once your free of this mask crawl from the river of time and stay yourself forever
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yay!! its great...those stupid masks....so annoying...def a fav
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Ah! What a great concept, the pros and cons of the mask. I like the way you swerve in and out of your own perceptions of the mask. It flows perfectly and it's structured well. I can't seem to find any faullt with this poem, I like it alot!
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Ow my..I love this ine..
very deep..
Feel like this often..Very nicely done
The rhyme is good, the words..
Ow just all..
Good job
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