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Published: 2011-10-15 21:37:50 +0000 UTC; Views: 350; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 6
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My name is Mariah. Generally, I am not a very interesting person. I have just moved from Mexico to Phoenix, Arizona. It was a pretty long drive, especially with my baby sister, Carmen, crying almost the whole way there. She is almost a year old now, twelve years younger than me. Our house here in the United States is smaller, but it's still okay. Papa seems to like it so it must be good. He got a job here, supposedly it pays more. Mama is looking for a job, but she has had no luck yet.Tomorrow I start school. The school is called Micheal Homers Middle School. Already, I have missed two months of it, I have not ever moved before, but then again I've never had many friends. I'm just hoping school won't be too hard.
I'm Jane. I was born and raised here in Arizona, and I know almost everyone in this town. Today though, there was this new girl, some chick from Mexico. She sounds funny when she talks, good thing she doesn't talk often. Everybody's been ignoring her at least, so I don't have any competition. Not that she'd be much anyway.
Forget about her, let's talk about me. I'm the best player on our soccer team, I wear only the best clothes, and I'm even blonde, which is always great. Not a ditzy blonde though, I may not get amazing grades, but it's not like I'm stupid.
This one girl was angry at me today. I do not understand why. It started in math I think. There was a question on the board we weren't supposed to learn until later in the year, and the teacher wanted to see what the class thought they were supposed to do for the equation. I answered because I thought it was relatively easy. About a minute later, a piece of paper hit my head. It was folded and torn, so I opened it. On it, it read "SHUT UP". Still I do not understand. After that I left the room and I was slammed into one of the lockers. I looked to see a tall blonde girl, I swear I saw her glaring at me yesterday.
"Did you get my message? I hope so. Better follow it or I'll hurt you." She sneered, I couldn't believe she was smiling at the thought of my pain. Once more she slammed my head into the locker and walked off with a group of her friends.
Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. I thought I had taught that stupid girl a lesson. For the first few days she was good and shut up like I asked her, and then she started talking again. She just wants me to look stupid. In every class I have with her (which is every except one) she knows the answer to everything. I'm getting sick of her, more and more every day for the past two weeks she's been here.
That girl stole my phone today. I'm putting a password on it now but it made me cry what she put. She ended up sending threatening text to everyone on my contacts, which I had to apologize for later. And she uploaded pictures of me dead and bleeding. It was terrifying. Hopefully there won't be any nightmares when I sleep. I've only been here barely a month and she's been messing with me every moment she can. I hate her. She's fat and ugly, too many pimples on her pink face.
It's starting to become kind of fun making fun of her. I made bracelets that say "I hate Mariah". Almost the whole school wears them. It sucks that she doesn't get really made or any strong emotions really. Maybe I'll get her to cry, maybe that will be my next milestone. Well, that's not something I usually think… Never mind. At least I'm not the only one who thinks that way, a lot of people think she's annoying too…
This red-headed girl always trips me in class.
A short black haired girl spills my lunch.
Jane, the blonde girl, slams me against lockers.
A brown haired boy spits at me.
A blonde boy, Jane's boyfriend, steals my backpack and puts it in the trash so I have to find it.
I feel weird. As if I'm just on the edge of a cliff, so close to the edge.
I'm scared.
I'm pregnant. I can't believe this is actually happening. It was only an experiment, I didn't think anything could happen, but I'm pregnant. I did the test and everything, three times. What am I going to do? I'm only fourteen I can't take care of a kid. I don't want to be like my mom, she left me after I was born. My dad didn't care and put me up to adoption. I've never even met my birth parents. My foster parents are always working and probably don't even know my name. I don't want the same to happen to my kid. What am I supposed to do?
She started a website today. There are already 121 members. The website involves hating me. It's just like the bracelets and everything else. I'm starting to get used to it. I want to go home, everybody there at least ignores me. They don't spend every waking moment torturing me. I'm trying to stay strong though.
I told Mariah she should die. I want to die. Constantly I wish I would be hit by a bus, or shot in the head in a drive by shooting. Something to get me out of this. SHE DIDN'T EVEN CRY. I've been crying so much lately. My friends have started to almost float away from me. At least I get my alone time. I'm crying now though. Soon someone's going to notice I'm pregnant. What will happen to me?
"You should just kill yourself"
The words repeated in my mind the whole walk home. Jane had the same smirk she always had. It would probably make her happy if I did.
Would it hurt?
I stared at the rope I found in the garage. It felt rough in my hands. Maybe it would make me feel better, away from this place. It would be a win-win situation for everybody.
Should I leave a note? My parents aren't home right now, they won't understand. I haven't even told them what's going on at school. They won't understand. No, I don't think I will write a note. What would I even say?
I tied the rope around the top of the living room fan, standing on a chair. Then I tied a hole on the bottom and put it around my neck. Then, slowly, I inched my feet towards the edge. My throat was oddly tight, and my breathing was heavy. Ignoring the fast beating of my heart and every being in my body saying not to do it, I jumped.
Goodbye.
I didn't kill her. How would it be MY fault that she killed herself? She was probably just stupid. Ha, I knew she was stupid from the beginning. What, does she not know how to handle LIFE?
Everybody's been blaming me for her death. All my friends have left me. They say I'm heartless, and stupid, and ugly, and fat. I'm being excluded from everything, sitting alone at lunch, and not talking all day. I'm even failing most of my classes. Can it get worse?
They looked at her phone and saw the pictures I sent her about her being dead. Now they'll blame me. It wasn't my fault though. I can't take it. Somebody's going to find out I'm pregnant. Maybe I won't have to be there and try to explain. Maybe I won't get in trouble for bullying Mariah. I grabbed the key off my necklace in case of emergency and opened a drawer. Inside there was a black pistol. I grabbed it, laughing like a maniac. Then I placed it right by my temple. They'd find out I was pregnant in the autopsy, oh well. It's all going to be over soon. No more worries. No more cares. Only peace. I gave one last laugh.
And pulled the trigger…
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Comments: 22
LostShell In reply to jerrodogden [2012-02-26 08:20:49 +0000 UTC]
what do you mean?
in what way?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
jerrodogden In reply to LostShell [2012-02-27 07:05:15 +0000 UTC]
Ok so we went to see ghost rider today it was so awesome I just got home
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
HamsterCatapult [2011-11-06 19:52:52 +0000 UTC]
Oh, I suppose you have a different English teacher, I didn't have to do any of that.
ANYWAY.
Lovely story, if not depressing. I though this was an interesting look at how even the tiniest thing could push someone off the edge, how just the tiniest thing could hit that 'suicide' button in the brain.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
LostShell In reply to HamsterCatapult [2011-11-06 22:28:29 +0000 UTC]
oh okay
thanks and its suppossed to be depressing
Its sad really
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
HamsterCatapult In reply to LostShell [2011-11-07 02:47:08 +0000 UTC]
You're welcome!
Yeah, it's sad how somehow so seemingly tiny can ruin a life.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Masanohashi [2011-10-15 23:18:45 +0000 UTC]
awesome story ^^
incredibly well described situation
keep it up, my friend ^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
LostShell In reply to TheEpicFailedArtist [2011-10-15 22:06:22 +0000 UTC]
thank you so much that means a lot
👍: 0 ⏩: 1








