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Description
Meme By: Negaboss2000
Goldi and The 3 Bears from Puss In Boots: The Last Wish (2022) are saddened when Alameda Slim from Home On The Range (2004) tells them that his "Just Right" is having all the property in the territory, and that he enjoys watching broke farmers suffer from their loss of property. However, Baby Bear is having none of it, and he, Mama, Papa, and Goldi want to speak to Slim personally.
Script:
Alameda Slim: [laughing] 5,000 Texas Longhorns. Not bad for one night's work.
Phil: Pick a color. [He and Bill are playing with a cootie catcher]
Alameda Slim: I said, not bad for one night's work. [Phil and Bill pay attention to Slim and clap] Thank you. And judging by the ear mark, I'd say these are the last of Big Mike Donald's herd.
(Cut To The 3 Bears (Mama, Papa, and Baby) spying on Slim and The Willie Brothers)
Gil (Offscreen): Big Mike Donald had a farm?
Phil and Bill (Offscreen): E-l-E-l... [Slim bashes them on the heads with his fists] Ohh...
Alameda Slim (Offscreen): That's right. He had a farm. [He goes to his dressing screen stock and puts on his Yancy O'Del disguise. During this time, Mama, Papa, and Baby are spying on Slim. Baby turns to Mama.]
Baby: Mama, This guy is so crafty.
Mama: Don't worry, Love. Remember, we're spying on him to figure out his plan.
Papa: And I'm trying to find out how and why he stole roughly 5,000 Texas Longhorns in 1 night.
Goldi: That's so much cattle. I wouldn't be able to steal that many in 1 night.
Alameda Slim (Offscreen): Now that all his cash cows have disappeared, that poor sap's gonna be flat broke. Perfect time for a certain upstanding land owner to step in and take all the land.
Mama: Apparently, he wants all the property to himself.
Papa: That's interesting, but Goldi would never do something like that in 1 night.
Baby: Yeah. And His desire to take all the property is so selfish.
Goldi: Shut It, You Muppet.
Phil (Offscreen): [screams] Who are you?!
Bill (Offscreen): What did you do with Uncle Slim?!
Phil (Offscreen): Put up your dukes, Mr. Fancy Britches! [Slim grabs his fingers] Aah-aah-aah-aah-aah-aah!
Alameda Slim (Offscreen): It's me. Hello! [Slim takes off the glasses and the blue top hat and holding a cane] This here is the disguise I use to sneak into all them auctions and buy all the land, you brainless monotone monkeys.
Baby: (Chuckles) "Brainless Monotone Monkeys". That sounds funnier than any of Goldi's Insults.
Papa: (Chuckles) I like the cut of his jib.
Mama: (Smirks) So do I, Love.
Goldi: Shhh...
Gil (Offscreen): Shoot, you got to be the richest land baron in the the west. [Phil and Bill clap]
Goldi: I really think he is rich.
Baby: But that's not the point, Goldi.
Mama: It's still interesting to see what he's doing.
Papa: I really think he's quite the crafty...
Goldi: Shut Up!
Alameda Slim (Offscreen): Yes, but the part that really warms my heart is watching those homesteaders suffer. [He grabs a branding iron and brands Mike Donald's Farm and the Dixon Farm on the map]
[This causes Goldi and the bears to get Slim's Attention.]
Baby Bear: Excuse me, sir.
Alameda Slim: Yes?
Baby Bear: We would just like to speak to you, Please.
Alameda Slim: Of course.
Goldi: A pleasure to meet you, Mr...
Alameda Slim: The name's Slim. Alameda Slim. Most folks call me "Slim".
Baby Bear (Whispers to Mama): For a guy named "Slim", he's not very "Slim" if you know what I mean.
Mama Bear: (Whispers back to Baby) I get that, Baby.
Goldi: Now, Mr. Slim. You're saying that you managed to steal 5,000 Texas Longhorns.
Alameda Slim: Precisely, young lady.
Baby Bear: Now, Mr. Slim. What's your plan?
Alameda Slim: I use this here disguise to sneak into all them auctions and buy all the land, you cuddly little bear.
Baby Bear: Well, Mr. Slim, What's Your "just right"?
Alameda Slim: My "Just Right"?
Goldi: Of course. A "Just Right" is what you really want
Mama: Like, with all your heart and soul.
Papa Bear: Like, 100%.
Alameda Slim: Well, using this disguise, I can buy all the land without being caught. There's a price on me, and I don't want anyone to unmask my disguise. Yes, but the part that really warms my heart is watching those homesteaders suffer.
Baby Bear (Sadly): Your "just right" is taking all the land for yourself?
Alameda Slim: Precisely, Bubba Bear. That's My "Just Right".
Goldi: I still think you should sell some of the property so people can get their property back.
Alameda Slim: But I'd be found out as who I really am.
Goldi: It's none of our concern. What we're trying to tell you is that you're being too selfish, you muppet.
Baby Bear: (Chuckles) Burn!
Alameda Slim: At least I have some Nephews, while you're with a family of bears.
Goldi: Your Nephews are so dumb, it makes Baby look like a genius!
Baby Bear: Boo-yah!
[Phil's jaw drops]
Alameda Slim: You look like a farmer!
Goldi: (Chuckles, Unfazed by the insult.) I'm not a farmer, you cowboy. You know what you are?
Baby Bear: Here it comes.
Goldi: You’re a daft, stupid, short-tempered, air-headed, cattle-stealing, bison riding, idiotic, obese, boneheaded, rotund, lardy, empty-headed, overweight, brainless, mind-less, birdbrained, blubbery, beer-bellied, paunchy, dunderheaded, tubby, middle-aged moron!
[Alameda Slim's jaw dropped as he was Shocked due to Goldi's long insult, mocking his chubby body shape, and his supposed lack of intelligence.]
Baby Bear: OI! WHAT A BURN!
Alameda Slim: At least, I'm smarter than my nephews combined. How's that for a "moron"?
[Goldi and her family leave the lair quietly.]
Alameda Slim: As I was saying, the part that really warms my heart is watching those homesteaders suffer. Back in the day, I worked the highfalutinest ranches you ever seen, but those stuck-up ranch bosses couldn't appreciate my talents.
Phil: Maybe they just didn't like your singing.
Alameda Slim: My singing?!
[Bill cover's Phil's mouth]
Alameda Slim: Songbirds sing. Saloon gals sing. Little bitty snot-nosed children sing. I yodel! And yodeling IS AN ART!!!!
Bill: Well, maybe they just didn't like your yodeling.
[Phil cover's Bill's mouth and Slim tries to hit them with his branding iron, but misses them when they duck]
Gil: He didn't mean it, Uncle Slim. Everybody likes yodeling.
Alameda Slim: Hmm?
Gil: Why, it's one of the funniest, cornball, goofy, silly sounds in the whole west.
[Slim tries to hit Gil with his branding iron, but misses as Gil ducks, then Slim sees Patch of Heaven on the map as it's unauctioned as his eye twitches]
Alameda Slim: Uh, Gil?
Gil: Uh-huh?
Alameda Slim: Am I correct in assuming that each and every time we brought a herd back to this secret lair you've managed to sit in the exact same spot, blocking that choice piece of property from my view?!
Gil: This is my comfy place. [beat] What? [Slim grabs him by the neck as he unintelligible gets choked on]
Phil: It's called Patch of Heaven, Uncle Slim. Goes on auction Thursday morning.
Alameda Slim: [his fury quickly replaced by eagerness] Perfect! [He hits Gil on the head with his branding iron and lets him go] Pencil it in. Thursday morning... right after we sell off this herd.
Bill: But it's just a little old dirt farm.
Alameda Slim: Ah, what's the difference? When you're talking revenge, every last acre counts. [He brands Patch of Heaven on the map with his branding iron]

Description
Meme By: Negaboss2000
Goldi and The 3 Bears from Puss In Boots: The Last Wish (2022) are saddened when Alameda Slim from Home On The Range (2004) tells them that his "Just Right" is having all the property in the territory, and that he enjoys watching broke farmers suffer from their loss of property. However, Baby Bear is having none of it, and he, Mama, Papa, and Goldi want to speak to Slim personally.
Script:
Alameda Slim: [laughing] 5,000 Texas Longhorns. Not bad for one night's work.
Phil: Pick a color. [He and Bill are playing with a cootie catcher]
Alameda Slim: I said, not bad for one night's work. [Phil and Bill pay attention to Slim and clap] Thank you. And judging by the ear mark, I'd say these are the last of Big Mike Donald's herd.
(Cut To The 3 Bears (Mama, Papa, and Baby) spying on Slim and The Willie Brothers)
Gil (Offscreen): Big Mike Donald had a farm?
Phil and Bill (Offscreen): E-l-E-l... [Slim bashes them on the heads with his fists] Ohh...
Alameda Slim (Offscreen): That's right. He had a farm. [He goes to his dressing screen stock and puts on his Yancy O'Del disguise. During this time, Mama, Papa, and Baby are spying on Slim. Baby turns to Mama.]
Baby: Mama, This guy is so crafty.
Mama: Don't worry, Love. Remember, we're spying on him to figure out his plan.
Papa: And I'm trying to find out how and why he stole roughly 5,000 Texas Longhorns in 1 night.
Goldi: That's so much cattle. I wouldn't be able to steal that many in 1 night.
Alameda Slim (Offscreen): Now that all his cash cows have disappeared, that poor sap's gonna be flat broke. Perfect time for a certain upstanding land owner to step in and take all the land.
Mama: Apparently, he wants all the property to himself.
Papa: That's interesting, but Goldi would never do something like that in 1 night.
Baby: Yeah. And His desire to take all the property is so selfish.
Goldi: Shut It, You Muppet.
Phil (Offscreen): [screams] Who are you?!
Bill (Offscreen): What did you do with Uncle Slim?!
Phil (Offscreen): Put up your dukes, Mr. Fancy Britches! [Slim grabs his fingers] Aah-aah-aah-aah-aah-aah!
Alameda Slim (Offscreen): It's me. Hello! [Slim takes off the glasses and the blue top hat and holding a cane] This here is the disguise I use to sneak into all them auctions and buy all the land, you brainless monotone monkeys.
Baby: (Chuckles) "Brainless Monotone Monkeys". That sounds funnier than any of Goldi's Insults.
Papa: (Chuckles) I like the cut of his jib.
Mama: (Smirks) So do I, Love.
Goldi: Shhh...
Gil (Offscreen): Shoot, you got to be the richest land baron in the the west. [Phil and Bill clap]
Goldi: I really think he is rich.
Baby: But that's not the point, Goldi.
Mama: It's still interesting to see what he's doing.
Papa: I really think he's quite the crafty...
Goldi: Shut Up!
Alameda Slim (Offscreen): Yes, but the part that really warms my heart is watching those homesteaders suffer. [He grabs a branding iron and brands Mike Donald's Farm and the Dixon Farm on the map]
[This causes Goldi and the bears to get Slim's Attention.]
Baby Bear: Excuse me, sir.
Alameda Slim: Yes?
Baby Bear: We would just like to speak to you, Please.
Alameda Slim: Of course.
Goldi: A pleasure to meet you, Mr...
Alameda Slim: The name's Slim. Alameda Slim. Most folks call me "Slim".
Baby Bear (Whispers to Mama): For a guy named "Slim", he's not very "Slim" if you know what I mean.
Mama Bear: (Whispers back to Baby) I get that, Baby.
Goldi: Now, Mr. Slim. You're saying that you managed to steal 5,000 Texas Longhorns.
Alameda Slim: Precisely, young lady.
Baby Bear: Now, Mr. Slim. What's your plan?
Alameda Slim: I use this here disguise to sneak into all them auctions and buy all the land, you cuddly little bear.
Baby Bear: Well, Mr. Slim, What's Your "just right"?
Alameda Slim: My "Just Right"?
Goldi: Of course. A "Just Right" is what you really want
Mama: Like, with all your heart and soul.
Papa Bear: Like, 100%.
Alameda Slim: Well, using this disguise, I can buy all the land without being caught. There's a price on me, and I don't want anyone to unmask my disguise. Yes, but the part that really warms my heart is watching those homesteaders suffer.
Baby Bear (Sadly): Your "just right" is taking all the land for yourself?
Alameda Slim: Precisely, Bubba Bear. That's My "Just Right".
Goldi: I still think you should sell some of the property so people can get their property back.
Alameda Slim: But I'd be found out as who I really am.
Goldi: It's none of our concern. What we're trying to tell you is that you're being too selfish, you muppet.
Baby Bear: (Chuckles) Burn!
Alameda Slim: At least I have some Nephews, while you're with a family of bears.
Goldi: Your Nephews are so dumb, it makes Baby look like a genius!
Baby Bear: Boo-yah!
[Phil's jaw drops]
Alameda Slim: You look like a farmer!
Goldi: (Chuckles, Unfazed by the insult.) I'm not a farmer, you cowboy. You know what you are?
Baby Bear: Here it comes.
Goldi: You’re a daft, stupid, short-tempered, air-headed, cattle-stealing, bison riding, idiotic, obese, boneheaded, rotund, lardy, empty-headed, overweight, brainless, mind-less, birdbrained, blubbery, beer-bellied, paunchy, dunderheaded, tubby, middle-aged moron!
[Alameda Slim's jaw dropped as he was Shocked due to Goldi's long insult, mocking his chubby body shape, and his supposed lack of intelligence.]
Baby Bear: OI! WHAT A BURN!
Alameda Slim: At least, I'm smarter than my nephews combined. How's that for a "moron"?
[Goldi and her family leave the lair quietly.]
Alameda Slim: As I was saying, the part that really warms my heart is watching those homesteaders suffer. Back in the day, I worked the highfalutinest ranches you ever seen, but those stuck-up ranch bosses couldn't appreciate my talents.
Phil: Maybe they just didn't like your singing.
Alameda Slim: My singing?!
[Bill cover's Phil's mouth]
Alameda Slim: Songbirds sing. Saloon gals sing. Little bitty snot-nosed children sing. I yodel! And yodeling IS AN ART!!!!
Bill: Well, maybe they just didn't like your yodeling.
[Phil cover's Bill's mouth and Slim tries to hit them with his branding iron, but misses them when they duck]
Gil: He didn't mean it, Uncle Slim. Everybody likes yodeling.
Alameda Slim: Hmm?
Gil: Why, it's one of the funniest, cornball, goofy, silly sounds in the whole west.
[Slim tries to hit Gil with his branding iron, but misses as Gil ducks, then Slim sees Patch of Heaven on the map as it's unauctioned as his eye twitches]
Alameda Slim: Uh, Gil?
Gil: Uh-huh?
Alameda Slim: Am I correct in assuming that each and every time we brought a herd back to this secret lair you've managed to sit in the exact same spot, blocking that choice piece of property from my view?!
Gil: This is my comfy place. [beat] What? [Slim grabs him by the neck as he unintelligible gets choked on]
Phil: It's called Patch of Heaven, Uncle Slim. Goes on auction Thursday morning.
Alameda Slim: [his fury quickly replaced by eagerness] Perfect! [He hits Gil on the head with his branding iron and lets him go] Pencil it in. Thursday morning... right after we sell off this herd.
Bill: But it's just a little old dirt farm.
Alameda Slim: Ah, what's the difference? When you're talking revenge, every last acre counts. [He brands Patch of Heaven on the map with his branding iron]