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Published: 2008-09-07 20:38:09 +0000 UTC; Views: 20865; Favourites: 730; Downloads: 35
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Description
This is how I feel about most of my relationships right now.The words underneath are from a poem by Andrienne Rich:
Diving into the Wreck:
"First having read the book of myths,
and loaded the camera,
and checked the edge of the knife-blade,
I put on
the body-armor of black rubber
the absurd flippers
the grave and awkward mask.
I am having to do this
not like Cousteau with his
assiduous team
aboard the sun-flooded schooner
but here alone.
There is a ladder.
The ladder is always there
hanging innocently
close to the side of the schooner.
We know what it is for,
we who have used it.
Otherwise
it is a piece of maritime floss
some sundry equipment.
I go down.
Rung after rung and still
the oxygen immerses me
the blue light
the clear atoms
of our human air.
I go down.
My flippers cripple me,
I crawl like an insect down the ladder
and there is no one
to tell me when the ocean
will begin.
First the air is blue and then
it is bluer and then green and then
black I am blacking out and yet
my mask is powerful
it pumps my blood with power
the sea is another story
the sea is not a question of power
I have to learn alone
to turn my body without force
in the deep element.
And now: it is easy to forget
what I came for
among so many who have always
lived here
swaying their crenellated fans
between the reefs
and besides
you breathe differently down here.
I came to explore the wreck.
The words are purposes.
The words are maps.
I came to see the damage that was done
and the treasures that prevail.
I stroke the beam of my lamp
slowly along the flank
of something more permanent
than fish or weed
the thing I came for:
the wreck and not the story of the wreck
the thing itself and not the myth
the drowned face always staring
toward the sun
the evidence of damage
worn by salt and away into this threadbare beauty
the ribs of the disaster
curving their assertion
among the tentative haunters.
This is the place.
And I am here, the mermaid whose dark hair
streams black, the merman in his armored body.
We circle silently
about the wreck
we dive into the hold.
I am she: I am he
whose drowned face sleeps with open eyes
whose breasts still bear the stress
whose silver, copper, vermeil cargo lies
obscurely inside barrels
half-wedged and left to rot
we are the half-destroyed instruments
that once held to a course
the water-eaten log
the fouled compass
We are, I am, you are
by cowardice or courage
the one who find our way
back to this scene
carrying a knife, a camera
a book of myths
in which
our names do not appear."
*edit
Now that some time is past; this piece of artwork is largely about being torn between two people who both love you, and trying to find your place between without hurting any one.
It's not about cheating, or leaving one person for another, it's about wading through the muddled darkness of each others' hearts, trying to discover that you are allowed to have of each other; how to trust and how to be trustworthy without lying to your heart.
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Comments: 93
LucitaniaMarie In reply to ??? [2008-09-20 18:48:43 +0000 UTC]
good for you for keeping the spirit alive! i mean, isn't that the whole spirit of this thing? to make people do a double take and raise their eyebrows?
in the beginning weren't people supposed to even revile us?
i don't mind being a "pretty goth" but i happen to know that it's not the point, and i hate those girls who act just like cheerleaders, sitting around in groups pointing out the flaws in others and putting people down. wasn't the whole point of gothic fashion to spit in the face of attitudes like that? being a little generically pretty and well-manicured is ok as long as you realize that it's not the entire point of being goth or industrial, or deathrock, etc. if you do that you're not breaking any barriers or changing peoples' perceptions, so it's shitty that some girls sit around acting like it makes them super important. you've got the right idea, you're the one changing peoples' perceptions.
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skritchmeee In reply to LucitaniaMarie [2008-09-20 20:37:13 +0000 UTC]
Yeah.
The problem is, I have a thin skin, and part of me really wants to be accepted and loved. I just... I can't be accepted in a culture that requires me to change myself to their standards. That's throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I have such a thin skin that I end up feeling bad all of the time.
I... thank you for the compliment. I'm too easily knocked down, and I guess I depend on others' approval to feel good about myself. Sigh...
Angst angst angst angst angst angst
I remember sitting in the smoking room of Death Guild and listening to a guy criticizing "the kids dressed like vampires" for dressing "so five years ago," then saying that he was wearing tight leather pants because they made his package look bigger, and not having the heart to tell him that he was just... totally missing the point. I think I gave up on making any social connections at Death Guild shortly after that.
We're all a bunch of artless conformists, which is, I think, deeply ironic.
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LucitaniaMarie In reply to skritchmeee [2008-09-21 19:01:50 +0000 UTC]
there's nothing wrong with wanting to be accepted, or with caring what people think of you as long as you don't let those worries transform you into a bitter person.
just keep remembering that you are making waves and changing outlooks, and hopefully next time something breaks through your thin skin you will have a little something to help you keep your chin up!
and don't worry about the people at deathguild, they aren't perfect and plenty of them can be retarded, but honestly it's a pretty good place despite the occasional jerk. in l.a., the people are so much worse. there are a lot of nice creative people at deathguild. it's not too clique-y, and pretty much one of the best goth/industrial communities in the u.s., cause every time i bring anyone of my non-goth friends there, no matter what they look like people in the scene will be nice to them even when i'm not around.
and remember it's pretty common for everyone to care a lot what other people think of them, it says a lot about each of us what we do with that concern. like i said, there's nothing wrong with feeling that way as long as you don't use it as an excuse to treat others badly or be a negative person, so don't let it get you down. people who say that they don't care what others' think are lying and just being pretentious assholes.
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StephanieHorrex [2008-09-11 01:19:03 +0000 UTC]
Art nouveau, naked lady, and octupi? All my favourite things!
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deviantscythe In reply to ??? [2008-09-09 17:01:51 +0000 UTC]
A very beautiful piece and a very nice poem to go with it
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LucitaniaMarie In reply to deviantscythe [2008-09-11 19:03:33 +0000 UTC]
thank you very much ^__^
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deviantscythe In reply to LucitaniaMarie [2008-09-12 10:18:55 +0000 UTC]
Always a pleasure to view brilliant pieces of art and compliment their artists, keep up the good work
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radicalpoptart [2008-09-08 18:20:23 +0000 UTC]
I love the styles, the colours, everything! Great job!
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LucitaniaMarie In reply to radicalpoptart [2008-09-08 19:02:06 +0000 UTC]
thanks so much! ^__^
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rolling-thunder In reply to ??? [2008-09-08 11:34:19 +0000 UTC]
THAT IS AN INCREDIBLE PIECE...Wow
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LucitaniaMarie In reply to rolling-thunder [2008-09-08 19:02:53 +0000 UTC]
thank you very much!
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Ed-Autumn In reply to ??? [2008-09-08 04:32:02 +0000 UTC]
I love the classic asian-esque frame and how the hair shifts into red from black, plus the way it fuses like oil or slime into the octos
Oh and that is one of my favorite poems so that adds to the whole thing
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LucitaniaMarie In reply to Ed-Autumn [2008-09-08 19:03:44 +0000 UTC]
ah yes thank you! and yay that you like the poem! are you ever going to come visit me at work lady? ^__-
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Ed-Autumn In reply to LucitaniaMarie [2008-09-09 21:48:42 +0000 UTC]
I will! These first few weeks back have taken up quite a bit of my time ^__^' but I will stop by soon! I promise
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kahl In reply to ??? [2008-09-08 02:03:46 +0000 UTC]
Your use of the imagery from the poem is wonderful. It is stark and rich and sensual. The classical element of the art nouveau style is deepened and darkened here and I find it haunting.
Excellent work.
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LucitaniaMarie In reply to kahl [2008-09-08 19:04:05 +0000 UTC]
thank you very much, i'm glad that you see all that in my work!
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kahl In reply to LucitaniaMarie [2008-09-09 20:22:10 +0000 UTC]
You put a lot into it. Only fair I should look for something, right?
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SofieLoafy In reply to ??? [2008-09-07 23:20:53 +0000 UTC]
Once upon a time, I am so in love with you. Also I really enjoy the gradients that you've been using!
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Hermaphroditus In reply to ??? [2008-09-07 22:21:03 +0000 UTC]
My god, but that's beautiful.
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LadyRotten In reply to ??? [2008-09-07 21:33:02 +0000 UTC]
I think you should illustrate a tarot deck.
I would defiantly buy it, though I already have 3?
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LucitaniaMarie In reply to LadyRotten [2008-09-08 19:04:45 +0000 UTC]
haha I'd do it if some one was paying me for the project! thanks ^__^
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LadyRotten In reply to LucitaniaMarie [2008-09-08 23:26:05 +0000 UTC]
ROFL, ah yes. That other motivation. (;
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