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You woke to the sound of childish giggling. It was airy and choked, as if the person was trying to keep quiet. Your neck creaked as you lifted it from something hard. You winced in pain as you felt your limbs start to stretch from the uncomfortable position. Once you finally moved enough to see, you saw Meira holding a light and smiling at you with a pink dusting her emaciated cheeks.

“Turn that light off or you’ll blind me. And what are you laughing at, huh?” You teased lightly; confused as to why she was acting so.. girlish.

She pointed to what you were sleeping on and you painfully turned your stiff neck over to your pillow. What you saw made you widen your eyes and blush wildly. Beilschmidt was resting peacefully with light snores. Sleep had tousled his normally slicked back blonde hair and he had an arm around your back that gently held you to him. The previous night came crashing back to you and you saw that he slithered into a sleeping position somewhere in the night and held you against him.

You just stared wide-eyed with your mouth agape at the shadow of your figure on his body. It was still dark and you couldn’t make out his face. You turned back around and Meira was smiling. You gave her the stop-it-or-else look before the haunting memories of last night put a heavy burden on your shoulders. Your mouth form a tight line and your expression became undeniably grave.

“Meira?” You whispered.

She replied with a curious “yes?”.

“What’s the quickest route out of here?”

“Why Miss. (Y/N)?”

You heard her tiny voice become so mature and rigid for her young age and you took a guilty breath, “Because Ludwig and I have something very important to do.”

Xxx Ludwig xxX
A sudden chill woke me from my sleep. It felt like someone just stole all of my warmth. I opened my crusted eyes to see almost complete darkness.

“Ok, Meira, are the tunnels safe to use?” I heard (Y/N) ask in a hushed tone.

I felt a wave of confusion that seemed to mask reality overcome me. Was this a dream?

I moved to sit up and realized everything was real. Last night came crashing down on me and cleared my sleepy fog. I grunted and called for (Y/N). Through the darkness I could see a figure turn towards me and a smaller figure next to it. It was (Y/N) and Meira; it had to be.

“Quiet, Beilschmidt!” She whispered, “Don’t wake the others.”

Suddenly, my awareness spiked and I tensed. Carefully sitting up I started to put on my boots and top. My tank stop was tight to my chest and abdomen, but my shirt hung off me in a clumsy. My movements felt distorted as I tried to prepare myself without getting caught in my unbuttoned shirt.

“What is it?” I asked as quietly as I could.

“Come here and be quiet!” She hissed.

I put my hands on the hammock contraption to steady myself and pushed up only to have a groan from the supporting beams. I winced but effortlessly slinked over to the shadows. My boots felt cumbersome, but I was used to sneaking around.

(Y/N) was standing in front of me and I could see her head tilt towards mine. I looked down and saw my breath coming out in puffs and her twisting her hands nervously. She looked back down at her feet and I wanted to reach out and feel her face on my fingertips. I busied myself with buttoning my shirt instead.

I couldn’t make out her expression because it was so dark and a heap of concern kept me from words. My thick fingers, as they always did, made it extremely hard to button the shirt.
(Y/N) brought her head back up, and before I knew it her small, but rough fingers were over mine. Her flesh was warm and a spark jolted the whole way up my arm from her touch. She quickly took my hands in hers and put them to the side of my body before working on my buttons.

Her fingers seemed to fumble just as much as mine did. Her head kept inching closer to my chest as she squinted through the darkness. I could hear her panicky intakes and shaky outtakes of breath and my curiosity wouldn’t waver.
“What is wrong, (Y/N)? Are you okay?” My brow furrowed and I clasped my large hands over her small ones to keep her from distraction. The touch set my palms on fire. The tension between us crackled like electricity and I could see her strong mind wavering.

Her body shifted a bit closer to mine and I felt a tremble rack it’s way down her being.

“I must leave.” She whispered.

My eyes opened wide and I let out a strangled noise I’d never heard before. It felt like I was being torn apart and I didn’t understand the feeling. I couldn’t make sense of the way my breath was stolen from me.

I gripped her hands tighter and took a breath to reason with her, but she cut me off before I could protest.

I could feel her hands shaking as she spoke, “My time here must come to a close. I must move on. I have matters to attend to.”

I felt crushed and panicked at the same time. I didn’t think I just moved, and it shocked us both, I let go of her hands and held her in a tight embrace. She squirmed, but I would not let go. I just held on with shaky breaths until she stilled and hugged back.

“Why are you doing this?” I whispered.

I felt awkward in my position. I hadn't felt so much emotion in what felt like a lifetime. I didn't understand it and I wanted to crawl back to my old self and escape the fuzzy, but scary warmness that flooded my being whenever (Y/N) spoke.

“I’m sorry.” She breathed.

“What are you even going to do?” My infamous hurt was slowly leading to anger. How dare she leave me after I risked my life for her.

She rose her head and sucked in a short breath of air before whispering, “I’m going after Himmler.”

My limbs went rigid and my blood turned to ice. I slowly lifted my chin from her neck and glared down at her.

“What kind of stupid are you? Do you want to die?” I rasped.

I felt her flinch in my arms and I knew that what I said was too much.

I felt her warm breath tickle my skin when she said, “It’s the only thing I have left.”

Her words melted into me and I felt my emotions unraveling. I stood there and felt so much care for the woman in my arms. I felt love again for the first time in years... and then she yanked herself free and tore out what was left of my heart.

Xxx You xxX
You were looking up at the shadow above you waiting for something. You gave up what you had left to hide. You were dangling by a thread hoping that he would accept your choice and leave it as it was.

Instead he just stayed still, and you knew it was him giving up. You blinked back tears and tore yourself away from his inviting warmth. He still just stood there, only this time his head fell and his shoulders slumped.

Tears were streaming down your face, but you no longer cared. He made his decision and it wasn’t you. Stupid girl.

You turned around to face little Meira.

She was scared, you could tell even through the darkness that her expression was clouded. She had pursed lips and her eyebrows seemed to be scrunched up. You remembered when she told you of her sister and felt your heart breaking. You were losing the one person you wanted to save.

You thought of your troop scouring the town for this little enclave and more grief was set upon you. You didn’t want Meira to disappear. Not when she could become such a wonderful person. Not when she could rise from that kind of tragedy and become a better image if you. You looked down at her small, pale face and felt… love. You knelt down to her level and held her face in your hands.

“Thank you, Meira. When this is over, I will find you. I promise.” You comforted.

You felt a warm drop touch your thumb and realized she was crying. You felt like you did with your little brother all over again. You found yourself protective and nurturing. Something you hadn’t been in a long, long time.

“It’ll be okay,” You whispered.

She bobbed her cute little head, as if to agree, but you could hear her choking in small amounts of air to keep from sobbing. Footsteps sounded from the far side of the room.

You couldn’t see her eyes in detail, but you stared in them one last time before kissing her forehead and standing back up.

“Goodbye, Meira.”

You stood again and suppressed a sniffle. You marched your way over to the tunnels before a croaked voice halted you in your tracks.

“Don’t leave me.” Ludwig pleaded.

It wrenched a piece of your heart to say it, but a part of you always knew it.

Without a single backwards glance you cooly spoke, “I was never with you, Beilschmidt.”

Tears were a warm waterfall down your face as you crawled into the tiny shaft and out of your hopeful days.