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Madsmatic — Kryptman: Imperial Dick
Published: 2007-07-28 16:41:55 +0000 UTC; Views: 6247; Favourites: 90; Downloads: 466
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I read the Tyranid memes and lol'ed. This is why the Imperial Guard is so sad.Related content
Comments: 48
Their faces are just priceless.
Not exactly the plan they were expecting, so much so that even the one on the right fainted
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Don't tell the survivors that the Ultramarines are going to get all the glory
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Poor guard, unluckyly for them both Cain and Creed were busy elsewhere. Wonder where Stubs is when you need him.
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Forget stubbs, when you have COLONEL SHIT-EATING STRAKEN!!!!!! THe Catechan II is the only group of knife wielding heroes I can follow to the Warp without Gellar Fields on. Why? Because of Straken, and SlLLLLLLYYY MMMAAAAARRRRBBBOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Emperor Bless the Astra Militarum, Real men wear Flak-armor
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Not sure if possessed by warp entity or just an asshole?
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... or you could trick the tyrandis into fighting orks and have them fight a endless war, at which point the imperial guard comes in and shoots the crap out of both.
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Then the Eldar will come in and kill everything.
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being an imperial guardsmen in a nutshell
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I love the comments the people have written here
...that's an imperial guards woman, right?
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Ok, I could understand if you were a guy and you willing joined the Imperial Guard. But if you are woman, then the Sisters of Battle would be a waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better armed force to join. But then if you fail at anything, at anytime, while fighting for the Sisters then you get demoted or worse...
So I suppose it makes sense that she would be in the IG.
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You can't just join the Sister of Battle. While their requirements for recruiting may not be as....hardcore as those of the Astartes, you're still not good enough if you#re just an everyday woman.
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*double checks SoB recruitment standards*
oh
oh emperor of man, that is rough....jeez ok that is my mistake, sorry about that
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The best part is that at least man from every squad who heard that speech was shot afterward to help boost the morale
Well...uh...better to die for the Emperor than live you for yourself?
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At least they will do the good job delaying Tyranids before Tyrannic War Veterans arrives on Terra to stops Hive Fleet Leviathan
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"Some" days? It sucks pretty much EVERY day for the IG!
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I toss up between being torn to shreds by Tyranids, or being exicuted as a coward...
...I'm going Traitor. Blood Pact here I come!
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and they will screams "Game Over Man! Game Over!" several times when many of them are gets torn apart by Tyranids
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Yeah we humble Guardsmen are a bit (what's the technical term, ahh yes) screwed in 40K. It reminds me of a quote: "If you are the last man standing, you're not fighting hard enough." Good pic!
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goddanm zerglike tyranids! they always make the gaurd look bad. :_(
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that guy looks like sigma. lol
Didn't know girls could be imperial guard.
Keep it up!
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In the grim darkness of the future, both genders can serve the Emperor equally!
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After all, why let all those valuble bullet sponges go to waste?
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Here's a thought: why not use the Exterminatus on the enemy before sending the Guard in? Artillery first, then Infantry.
Ah, those wacky people from the future...
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Sending in the Guard first is to lure the Tyranids into battle. The Guard is defending the world so the Tyranids have to send in more creatures to defeat them and consume the biomass. When the Guard is overwhelmed the planet is destroyed and not only do the Tyranids gain no biomass, they lose the biomass of all of the Warriors, Guants, Carnifexes, and other creatures they sent in to defeat the guard. The idea is that with each battle the Tyranids lose biomass no matter what, instead of in regular battles where they can lose trillions of lives and still have a net gain since they just eat their dead.
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*puts on Commissar hat*
WHAT KIND OF IDIOT ARE YOU?!?!??
I WILL NOW EXECUTE YOU FOR QUESTIONING THE WILL OF THE EMPEROR!
DO YOU HAVE ANY LAST WORDS TO SAY?
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Uhh...yeah. About that. The exterminatus doesn't target the *enemy*, per se...
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Seems to me that there's something [i]just a bit screwy[/i] with the way these guys conduct their operations.
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Exterminatus nukes the entire planet. And if a few million or so soldiers are lost, oh well. They're expendable!
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lol Imperium tactics in a nutshell
"Sir the entire planet of 66Billion people got exterminated due to a printing error..."
"So what? We can always get more!" ^^
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Yepp, that sounds like the imperial guards tactics: Go in and do as much damage as you can and then slow the enemy down with your bodies and drown them in your own blood. If you survive You'll probebly be charged with herecy
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Hahaha, this is why the Imperial Guard is sad... der.
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Well they could send in a bane blade or two, that would send the enemy packing, but it just woudlen't be the Imperial Guard if it didn't involve a human wave
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Well, obviously~! If you survived, you didn't do your Emperor-given job!
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Basic training entails live drills on how to properly sacrifice oneself. They're all failures.
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I was reponsible for 6 of the comments in that thread. :nyoron:
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oh shit, and here I was starting to feel good about myself
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