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When it comes to the "literature" from the Young Adult section at the library, I think it's gotten to the point that you can indeed judge a book by its cover.
Just because something is a book, does not mean that it doesn't make you stupid. Sometimes books can be brain-rotting, even more so than a good old, wholesome cartoon, if I may be so bold.
Today I will show you a guide about how to judge a book by its cover; that way you can conveniently know what books to avoid and which you decide are tolerable.
WARNING!!!!!!!! DO NOT CONFUSE THESE FOR GOOD BOOKS THAT HAVE SOME OF THE SAME TRAITS.
Okay, carry on:
Charlie Jackson:
Charlie Jackson is a teenage boy who is off to save the world from an evil foe. He and his best friend: Conveniently-Loyal-Steve, the girl he secretly admires for some unknown reason even though she's a huge jerk: Girls-Have-To-Be-Perfect-And-Tough-Or-Else-It's-Sexist-Jane, set off as an "unlikely" trio on a cliche adventure peppered with mostly sarcasm based humor and a few pop-culture references to keep you entertained. The cover usually depicts a boy with brown hair and a forgettable face in the middle of the author's choice of turmoil. The series are usually named after the main character. Example: "Charlie Jackson and the Merchant of Fate."
(Also look for Action Jackson: types of Charlie Jackson books that are packed with "exciting" action! Because everyone wants to read five pages of pointlessness every time the heroes come across their enemies).
Belle Blowing in the Wind:
Belle is a girl who's a little bit.... different. At least compared to the bizarre, overly-strict freaks that surround her who are supposed to represent "everyone else," apparently. These books usually rely on a kind of "shock value," that I believe, is supposed to be charming(?), in which the sole purpose is to admire the main character and the "weird" things that she does. "That Belle is certainly a funny one!" these books will have us chuckling like old ladies over tea. Unless of course, you are a narcissistic teenage girl who wants to imagine that the girl is like yourself (and consequently, that you too are more special than the "everyone else" in your life). These books can be a great ego booster-! or just make you want to gag and punch yourself in the face repeatedly. The covers usually portray a deceivingly interesting looking illustration of a girl (maybe even an appealing cartoon) that the story never quite lives up to.
The Amazing, Spectacular Tanya Brown:
Tanya Brown is a plain girl with a forgettable name who moves somewhere new and doesn't quite fit in at her new school because the author tells us she's "awkward." Like Belle, Tanya's rivals are unrealistic freaks, this time in the form of inexplicably obsessive bullies with whom the author flatters themself. Even though it makes no sense why anyone would care enough about the boring main character to torment her or otherwise give her attention, Tanya is constantly picked on, mainly by the queen bee: Popular-Girl. Popular-Girl is a person who wouldn't really exist in real life, but we pretend that she would so that stupid people can have someone to look down on too. Of course, this cliche book wouldn't be complete without the love-interest: No-Personality-Max (I wonder if they will end up together??? This twist will surely have you on the edge of your seat!) and the best friend (who is either an air-head who talks about "random" things like aliens, or if they're black, more of the wise, good-advice giving type). These books usually have titles that are supposed to be really FUNNY and SILLY! "Tanya Brown the Great," or "the Remarkably, Fantastic, Quirky, Life of Tanya Brown," etc. The covers usually show a picture of part of Tanya Brown's body (whether it be just her feet, part of her face or her whole body with just the head chopped off).
the Quiggleys:
The Quiggleys are not your ordinary family. They're really silly! Well, not really, but the author keeps insisting that they are by giving everything cute, silly names. The family itself is actually quite boring. The story is usually about them doing ordinary things that the author pretends are funny (they like to eat pickles and jump on pogo-sticks! Nobody does that)! These books are usually old-fashioned, so keep an eye out for traditional illustrations on the cover. The characters might be drawn in a deceivingly witty looking style.
Classics disguised as modern novels:
These are pretty self-explanatory, I think.
Dystopi-fail:
This girl named Zelda (or some other name that shows the author was trying way too hard) is no ordinary girl, because she is not a robot like everyone else in the entire world (with the exception of her love-interest whom she inevitably ends up with before the story is over). While everyone else goes along with a diabolical system, Zelda is the only one who can see how awful it is. Finally, she decides to do something about it. Zelda and her boyfriend (excuse me, love-interest. There's usually some love-triangle/complication that prevents them from "being together" until it finally gets resolved at the end) set off to make the difference that only twerpy 16 year olds can make (with no help whatsoever from convenient adults doing all the work in the background. No, sir. None at all). The people in these books are usually divided up into categories SOMEHOW or another... Zelda is always special though. If there are categories, Zelda is the one who just so happens to break the mold. Nobody else though. Everyone else is a complete, total robot, and they usually die a lot. We don't care about them. The covers of these books vary from gloomy designs with no humans, to some symbol that's supposed to poetically portray breaking the mold somehow i.e a character breaking out of a cage or something.
Alice-Wannabe:
There is only one Alice in Wonderland, but for those of you who want more and are absolutely desperate (or only pretend to like Alice in Wonderland to be cool and mysterious, but would never actually read something as hard as the original book) these cheap copies could be just the thing for you. Page after page of pointlessness, not quite as enjoyable as a cartoon would be, can be a refreshing way to spend your rainy day (not to mention, you get bragging-points: "I was reading this whimsical book IN THE RAIN... and drinking tea! I'm so goth and mysterious now!") The covers usually have some gothic illustration to lure poor suckers who think anything drawn Tim Burton style is interesting and cool.
the Kid who Solves Mysteries:
Usually written for younger kids (you know those less intelligent people who you have to dumb everything down for) the Kid who Solves Mysteries is about... well, a kid who solves mysteries. If they are a boy, they are usually plain and boring with no personality. If they are a girl, for some reason they usually have red hair or a catchy name, but in the end don't have a personality either. If it is about a group of kids, they usually have a corny name for their group (but still none of the kids will have real personalities). Perhaps the boringest thing about these series is that the setting is always school. If nails-on-a-chalkboard type activities like doing homework, cleaning your room, getting grounded or fighting with your "annoying younger sister" are your thing, these are the books for you. These events are presented in a way that kids "can relate to!" but in that distant way where it was clearly written by an adult who doesn't know what they're talking about (and gives you the slight feeling that they were sitting there chuckling the whole time they were writing it). These books usually have cartoon covers, cunningly used to lure in kids. This leads the innocent kids into thinking they are getting out something appealing, when in fact, what they're getting is simply a heartless piece of trash.
the Apprentice:
Rowan is a lowly farm boy, from a medieval kingdom. He's a skinny young whippersnapper: an under dog, of course. Then one day, a mysterious stranger: Mysterious Guy shows up and makes the boy his apprentice, teaching him about the mysteries of life and valuable lessons (usually by going on a life-changing journey). Mysterious Guy always dies before the book is over, and usually a girl shows up at some point (what would we do without love interests?). These books can be older or modern (it's a fairly old cliche). This can cause the covers to vary, but for the most part the covers seem to TRY to look old fashioned.
Disclaimer: I know books have different covers depending where you live. This is just what I notice for my part. I'll probably be adding more to this list later, so look for updates if you're bored. Tell me if you think of any other funny ones that I can add!
Related content
Comments: 37
Federklinge [2022-02-19 15:16:14 +0000 UTC]
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scourge728 [2016-06-26 01:32:25 +0000 UTC]
Are you saying you don't like The Rangers Apprentice? I personally liked it and don't remember a major romance plot happening which in a YA book is a plus indeed also I thought this would be about the book Stuff on my cat because in the words of PeanutButterGamer: You pretty much get the whole experience right there
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poptropigirl [2016-02-17 18:46:54 +0000 UTC]
Charlie Jackson: Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, etc. While I love both series, I can't help but think of them after reading the paragraph.
Dystopi-Fail: Divergent, Hunger Games, etc.
The Kid Who Solves Mysteries: Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, etc.
You, my friend, deserve a cookie. I don't have a cookie so I'll give you a watch instead!
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iminlovewithanime001 [2015-07-01 21:27:53 +0000 UTC]
I have a suggestion how about the star crossed lovers
Sally is a poor girl with a sad life. Her parents are so mean and nobody likes her and she's certain this one douchebag is for her until some random boy makes her realize she loves him and at the end they have sex and turn out to be true love.
Susane Colsatani for you
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AussieDidge [2014-05-20 11:02:18 +0000 UTC]
Good grief… Spoken like a person with perhaps a library’s worth of knowledge, at least judging by the vivid descriptions you give of each book trope (Wonder if that’ll be a thing?)
Personally I’m very much a reader of fact books or otherwise incredibly strange shit like the Ripley’s series or of course the Guinness Book of World Records, which I’ve been a fan of since I was a young child. Why NOT make real-life humans be the characters and let them accomplish such amazing, wacky things that society would never dream possible?
And I’ll probably read the ol’ autobiography once in a while… If I ever get time to read them.
An enlightening and some might say humorous guide into the realm of library books. Perhaps there’s more of these on the way? I would sure hope so…
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nightshade43 [2014-04-02 01:40:04 +0000 UTC]
I actually ignore an entire section of a library, called Paranormal Romance. I call it shameless smut, because that's what I usually encounter in books about "romance". Erotica is not the same as romance people, stop clumping them together.
The moment I see a paranormal romance with a piece of fruit or a flower on a black cover I avoid it like the plague. Usually because it's the SAME formula.
Boy meets girl ---> boy is ____ but a "good one" ---> *insert smut here* ---> bad guy wants girl/boy for some reason ---> Both characters aren't at all interesting ---> magic!!1! ----> "fate", "destiny", "symbolism", "deep" ---> face, meet desk. The end.
It's worse when they try to be "more developed" and insert rape in it for no good reason. I was into a series until they inserted childhood rape in it.
Enough of my ramblings. For some reason I nodded my head to your synopsis of generic stories and could actually identify some series that match it. I love the effort you put into these tutorials.
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MakingFunOfStuff In reply to nightshade43 [2014-04-02 03:24:11 +0000 UTC]
Hidden by Commenter
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AnEnemySpy In reply to MakingFunOfStuff [2014-10-16 06:20:16 +0000 UTC]
I think if you're going to write about rape, do it the way George R. R. Martin does. Make it blunt, and awful, and deeply unpleasant to read. Trying to portray rape in any other way runs the risk of fetishizing it.
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MakingFunOfStuff In reply to AnEnemySpy [2014-10-18 20:46:58 +0000 UTC]
I have to question the reasoning behind writing about it at all.
Implying it happened is one thing, but making it into a scene? I don't know...
To me it sounds unnecessary.
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AnEnemySpy In reply to MakingFunOfStuff [2014-10-20 03:33:29 +0000 UTC]
Because I don't think any subject should be considered off limits. Excellent books have been written about murder, war, sickness, domestic abuse, and rape too. The thing about them is if any of these subjects are handled without taste, they become awful. I'm guessing from your articles that you have read a lot of fanfiction and I'd imagine that you've come across some pretty horribly written scenes where it's obvious the rape scene is meant to be titillating rather than horrifying, and that should NEVER be the purpose of a rape scene.
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MakingFunOfStuff In reply to AnEnemySpy [2014-10-25 19:43:49 +0000 UTC]
I get the attitude of not wanting to rule anything out. I do.
But can you think of an example where rape would be necessary?
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nightshade43 In reply to MakingFunOfStuff [2014-04-05 07:26:20 +0000 UTC]
I think the trap a lot of media get into is the misconception that rape is "mature", like swearing and sex, and assume by adding these things it automatically makes the show more mature, while inadvertently making the show or book a chore or a downright turn off.
I couldn't count how many shows recently with the theme slapped on [Bates Hotel, the Walking Dead, Revolution].
Personally I'd rather not have it in my shows or stories, as I want an escape,and a happy one at that.
I'm at the point where I have to ask store owners whether an anime or book has rape in it, so I can avoid it.
It's not "part of life," it's a sick abuse of life. I couldn't agree more.
I'm glad you had fun writing it. Ah, rants, they're always a fun inspiration. That and looking at covers and reading blurbs. Sometimes reading blurbs can tell you what the whole book is about. Though I sometimes flip open a book to a random page and read it to see the writing style. I've saved myself many a horrifying theme by reading it. [Ever notice how books get a lot of slack with adult themes compared to games and movies?]
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vitaminanime [2014-03-29 22:34:35 +0000 UTC]
Oh crap, I think my writing falls victim to some of these...D:
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MakingFunOfStuff In reply to vitaminanime [2014-03-31 03:50:25 +0000 UTC]
That's not always a bad thing. If it's a unique story that really has a lot to it, people won't be able to put it in a box even if it does share some of these same characteristics.
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vitaminanime In reply to MakingFunOfStuff [2014-04-01 07:50:47 +0000 UTC]
mmm...I want it to be unique, but you can see the story i'm currently working on derives heavily from Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, Elric of Melnibone, Dragonforc and Manowar songs, and real life. Heavy on the real life.
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ShackledMuse [2014-03-18 17:16:32 +0000 UTC]
Lol somewhere in there I couldn't help thinking about the Divergent Series, Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys (although they were still old school) and practically any vampire/werewolf book.
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LakeSuperior [2014-03-12 21:54:23 +0000 UTC]
My friend: You are. Right. On. The nose. I've had these same gripes so many times.
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JadeHawke [2014-03-11 16:26:07 +0000 UTC]
Haha, this cracked me up. I mean, obviously there's a lot of generalizing going on, but you really nailed a lot of those cliches.
And I totally judge books by their covers. Genres have started to become so set in stone that the cover really does tell you what the story is about and you can immediately guess where it's going. Good to see there are some others out there who agree with me. ^^
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goodiesbasket [2014-03-11 10:42:57 +0000 UTC]
oh my god, the cartoon adaptation of The Black Cauldron sounds -just- like the apprentice type you have on here. Of course this is a story that in the movie version is shallow in basically every aspect, 0% material for the book club, and is just meant to be an enjoyable 1 1/2 hour fantasy story. I haven't read the book, although I want to. you've done a great job
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MakingFunOfStuff In reply to goodiesbasket [2014-03-11 15:54:12 +0000 UTC]
The book is much different than the movie, but it is kind of an Apprentice book now that you mention it. It's not bad, but it does fit
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Helios-No-Jinn [2014-03-10 23:44:41 +0000 UTC]
Okay, this inspires me, here's an idea:
Ginny Williams is a special, adorably dorky preteen girl who's out to save the post-apocalypse world from mecha-Ctulhu. She'd have the support of her equally charismatic family if they hadn't died in a tragic incident involving beach balls. Instead, she has a conveniently life-like male robot with a completely blank personality programming, for whom she falls for but doesn't tell anyone about until that shit causes trouble or at the last possible minute. They are briefed on the situation by H.P. Lovecraft's ghost who dies about one third into the story, not before telling them that the key to defeat mecha-Ctulhu lies in a series of grisly murders, so they start investigating them to try to find out just how far the rabbit hole goes. All this is a deconstruction of Othello adapted to modern times.
... Imma' copyright this shit.
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MakingFunOfStuff In reply to Helios-No-Jinn [2014-03-11 15:57:16 +0000 UTC]
You will be rich indeed!
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Silidons00 [2014-03-10 23:27:51 +0000 UTC]
Very nice, I enjoyed this.
Couple of notes:
For the Quiggleys I think Savvy and Scumble are an excellent exception to the rule.
I also think that The Vesper Holly series by Lloyd Alexander is a good "Kid Who solves mysteries" series.
And this one may just be me, but I think Alex Rider is one of very few good Action Jackson books. I have yet to read a better kid-action book series.
All that being said,
I love it.
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MakingFunOfStuff In reply to Silidons00 [2014-03-11 15:56:32 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, there are a lot of exceptions.
Didn't Lloyd Alexander also write the Prydain Chronicles? Those kind of fit the Apprentice stereotype, but I thought those were good as well.
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zwecat [2014-03-10 21:09:05 +0000 UTC]
This is really true about the young adult section in literature, and I read from that section often. If I'm not looking for a specific book, if I pick one at random and read the back, it's something that I feel like I've already read a thousand times. Nice list!
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MakingFunOfStuff In reply to zwecat [2014-03-11 15:57:44 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, it's hard to find original stuff, sadly.
Thanks!
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wikigiuli [2014-03-10 18:06:52 +0000 UTC]
you forgot the awful "paranormal-romance" mania, after Sata- i mean, Twilight XD
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squidwardfan101 In reply to wikigiuli [2018-11-21 00:11:22 +0000 UTC]
I feel personally attacked, since I actually do read Shakespeare and I read poems. I also don't have a guy.
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animegirlcorycian In reply to wikigiuli [2017-02-23 13:57:18 +0000 UTC]
The only one I could think up there is the Fallen series.
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SONICJENNY [2014-03-10 17:23:10 +0000 UTC]
I know what u mean by "Judge book by its cover"
I have Stumble upon many that I try to read some were bad and many were good
But is become at this point were is very hard many artist make it Difficult to understand some story's
So it become hard for some readers to understand dust leavening the book alone or just letting it be
As for me I like to read the short story's that left behind the book giving u a open window on what's yet to come
Which leaves this mind if u don't like it then move on lol xD
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SONICJENNY In reply to MakingFunOfStuff [2014-03-10 17:52:58 +0000 UTC]
Yea I know your point
And I can see many that had done this mistake is really up to them to fix there own wrong doing
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