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maliceandroid — +COLLECTOR OF SOULS+
Published: 2004-09-16 13:25:53 +0000 UTC; Views: 217; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 9
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Description
As I look into your face,I see a darkness that shouldn’t be.
And the smell of this place,
Is incriminating to me.
Though murky be your blackened heart,
I cannot resist your charm.
I must stand and play the part,
And lead myself toward harm.
To be with you would be a dream,
To soak up your black soul.
But every time I scream and scream,
Because my life is never whole.
To be in your arms is all I crave,
But when with you I am your slave.
The grasp you have is sick and tight
But though I should I never fight.
Lost deep inside your brooding eyes,
A lively future I jeopardize.
I’ll stay blind and in your control,
Proving once again, you’ve broken my soul.
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Comments: 10
Beautiful!!! Wonderfully dark and descriptive!!!
~Lanka
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thank you! i try, heh. no i really dont try that hard, i write what i feel, i write from the soul (as cheesey as it sounds)
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the pic? cuz i wrote a poem and fudged with a pic. i wrote the poem myself
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Fantastic as usual. Dark, but still quite beautiful in its own mystic way.
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thank you. you dont think i have too many comas? i'm starting to see it now. i need to learn punctuations man. i put too little then too much. life was more simple when i never used any! lol
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Too many unneeded commas litter a piece that's really quite lovely.
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actaully, perhaps if you have time, you could re-write it the way you think it should look with comas and such. perhaps set "guidelines" or something so i can learn a bit better.
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thanks, i once was critisized on the fact that i didnt use enough punctuation... now i use too much. help me! i dont get it man! lol! i'll get it eventually!
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