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Sometimes I think, or rather I trick myself into thinking, that if I explain myself enough to this world, my foes, and the strangers  I meet...maybe it will change someone's idea of who I am or the ideal of who they think I should be.  Then I wander over to reality-the reality that no matter what details are in my life story, or the truths of my heart, people will think what they want to think and believe what they want to believe.  I wonder, if I can change one person's opinion of my actual identity and being, maybe all the words and secrets that I allow to fall on deaf ears and hard hearts will be worth it.  The question of reality is, will there ever be a single person who will change, whether it be their initial reaction of me, or a grudge they stumbled upon and have learned to cling to over time.

The pessimist in me is alarmed and mocking, screaming out from every pore that I'm a naive little fool to believe in changing the human race's stubborn perception.

Then, my sunnier side sees a smiling tom-boy of a young girl, embracing the very men who abused her for years.  A little girl who has been broken and battered.  A girl with every excuse in the world to hate, and yet she lives on and she loves on.  Of course, that freckled face is my own, and the faded heart of that child lies in me to this day, quietly patting out a constant rhythm of love.

If a fallen angle with no wings, like me, could live and love again, long after love and life abandoned me...isn't there hope that somewhere in the world there are more like me?  Aren't there more bruised souls capable of a strong, powerful love that can withstand all forms of battering and betrayal?  Is there not another kindred  spirit in this world that may hammer out reality and idealism, and just bare the truth?

Maybe I don't need to explain myself to anyone...God knows me and his opinion is the only baring thought I will own up to.  Maybe instead of explaining and defining myself into this perfectly detailed mold...I should just continue to live and love, and let my actions explain their self.