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MarikBentusi In reply to Quills07 [2013-02-15 08:57:01 +0000 UTC]

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Quills07 In reply to Quills07 [2013-02-14 17:12:35 +0000 UTC]

In my eagerness to point out the glasses, I missed that you were asking for feedback, haha (I've never denied being a ditz... or have I?).

(Quick note - I can't look at your self critique from the computer I'm currently working on, so I'm going into this almost completely ignorant of your own thoughts.)

First off, before I say anything more, I have to make it clear that I consider you far more creative and skilled than I am. As such, as far as criticism on technical aspects of your work goes, I can't really offer much. With your polished pieces, very rarely does anything stand out as not looking quite right. There may be particular things that I dislike about a piece, but it's never a case of me going, "That looks off."

"Show, don't tell." Gaaaah. That expression has become a personal peeve of mine. Not in the way that you use it here, but because it's become, like, the ever-ready catchphrase of would-be, amateur critics everywhere.

Sorry, back on track! In this case, my answer is - yes, too much telling, not enough showing. However, that's not a criticism of the content of this piece, but its purpose and relationship to the audience (in this case, the dA viewers).

The text is not pointless fluff; it contains lots of information that would be extremely difficult to convey via static imagery alone. When you see deviants write a description of what you should be able to see from the image ("She usually carries a twin set of katanas"), that's when it becomes fluffery, imo.

What you've created is the kind of content that fans completely geek over when it comes to characters/worlds they like. The imagery/text ratio is an excellent supplement to the core of this world you've created. The problem? We don't know this world, not like you do. Are your sketches appealing enough to convince others to invest time into reading their descriptions? I'm not sure. I'll often read most of it, but it's because I've had fun chatting with you in the past, I'm impressed by the expansiveness of it all, and I enjoy seeing what you come up with. For people completely unfamiliar with you or your work, I think you need your visuals to swing a harder punch to get the text some attention.

Your work reminds me of the older work of one of my friends in some fundamental ways. That person, like you, had built this mind-blowingly extensive world. From the races that walk it to the geography of the lands to the history its been built upon, everything had been extraordinarily structured and detailed. And every time I looked at her ever-growing binder of art, it was still growing. But what was the story? Who lived in this world that could make me care about it?

Maybe you have a main character or the structure of a story in progress and you just haven't shared it yet (or I missed it), but I think an emotional connection to something specific to this world is needed to make people truly appreciate, and value, all that you've created. It's like... a beautiful castle without occupants. People might admire and praise it from afar, but without some interesting inner conflict within those walls, the odds are that the average person won't try to learn more about it.

If I were to give advice, I'd suggest sharing more art (either polished pieces or "dumps" like the above) that require more engagement from the viewer. Most of your work that I've seen involves visuals that are poses; the technology or people and creatures look amazingly badass, but there's not much action or emotion conveyed.

I can't dig around through your gallery just now, but one piece stands out in my mind FAR more clearly than the rest - it had looked like a sermon or court from straight out of a nightmare; it was the kind of visual that had me pausing and wondering, "What's going on here?" The fact that it's so memorable stands testament, at least to myself, of how powerful a story, conveyed via good visuals, can be.

Granted, all of this might be very biased due to my own preferences. A good share of the artists I admire most on dA are those that not only make pretty art, but art that has some kind of emotional impact on me, however fleeting.

Tl;dr'd ya?

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Shampie In reply to Quills07 [2013-03-16 00:06:20 +0000 UTC]

Nicely said, I think ^^ I hate reading on the computer if it's not for chatting or a blog and news or something like that... everything else is just not going into my brain (I tested it... if I print it, it's so much easier XD)
I just wish your ideas wouldn't need so much text, because they are always so creative and well-conceived.

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Quills07 In reply to Shampie [2013-03-17 02:03:40 +0000 UTC]

^^ Yes, ditto. Even if it's simple text, like on manga/comics, I've never liked reading on computers and tablets.

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MarikBentusi In reply to CyrusNarcissus [2013-02-15 11:02:34 +0000 UTC]

A (German) story I've been writing for fun, tho I've been thinking about doing a comic one-off since, surprisingly, a couple of people have shown interest.

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CyrusNarcissus In reply to MarikBentusi [2013-02-15 20:33:50 +0000 UTC]

I'd make a summarized comic, if I were you - like, 20-30 strips. An abridged version would be less work, but hold all the same goodness as the original story. Also, most of the comic doesn't have to look that fancy. You could draw simple characters in front of blank backgrounds half of the time, if you want. Whatever works and is simple.

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MarikBentusi In reply to CyrusNarcissus [2013-02-16 00:14:54 +0000 UTC]

Haha, well, easier said than done, I'm still trying to overcome some language, format and pacing hurdles for the one-shot I had in mind.

Maybe I'll do something of an illustrated summarization if anyone's curious about the plot in the future tho.

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