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133 Diamonds [ Full Body +20 | Colored +5 | Shading +5 | x2 Detailed BG +15 | x3 Herd Member +25 | Story +48 ]

pls let me know if i calculated this wrong and how to fix it thannnkssss 8'D

◄ PREVIOUS: Unveiled Part 2 | NEXT: The Birds and The Bees ►

Days stretched into weeks, and then into months. Things had been quiet- in more ways than one. There had been no more sightings of the mysterious mare, though they hadn’t traveled far from the valley, the one the mare had told them about. Jasper had done it purposefully in hopes that they would see her again, but they had no such luck. The only good thing was that the big old bear had indeed left them alone, just as the mare said he would.

Lillian struggled with feeling angry. Some days she couldn’t stand to look at Jasper, and some days she wished he would just look at her. She felt helpless and hopeless. She had been struggling to find the right words to say to Jasper, but it had been difficult. Every time she looked at him, words got stuck in her throat and she couldn’t speak. He hadn’t really noticed her silence either, it seemed. He was too busy watching the trees, his mind always wandering back to the mare, perplexed at her behavior and longing to understand.

On one particular day, it was much too hot to do any traveling, so they decided to rest in the shade of a tree. Lillian eventually dozed off while Jasper stood guard. However, when she awoke, Jasper was gone. She sat up, expecting him to be somewhere nearby, but as she looked around with groggy eyes, she didn’t see him. For only a heartbeat, she feared he might have run off with the mare- or something awful might have happened to him. But as she stood up and was about to call out to him, her eyes landed on his figure, some distance away.

He was partially in the shade of a line of trees, his eyes searching the shadows for something-, no, for someone. Lillian was certain he had thought he saw the mare again. It had happened before, in the last few weeks; he would go on about hearing something and seeing something, and then become consumed with figuring out what it was.

It made her blood boil. She hated the way she felt, but she hated watching him become so obsessed with someone else even more. She couldn’t hold it in any longer; regardless of her twisted feelings, she couldn’t go on without saying something. What she was going to say, however, even she didn’t know yet. But that didn’t matter. Lillian was too furious, pent up on the bottled up emotions she’d been feeling over the passed few months to care what came out or if it made sense. All she knew was that she was striding over to Jasper, angrier than she’d ever felt in her life- even angrier than when she’d fought with Delta.

”What are you doing?” Lillian demanded after halting beside the red stallion.

”Oh! You’re awake!” He said, startled at her sudden appearance as he glanced her way. But he slowly let his eyes drift back to the trees. ”Well, I thought I saw something...” His words trailed off as he became distracted by whatever it was he was searching for. This only made Lillian angrier.

”Right. Waiting to see if your friend will come back. Should have guessed.” Lillian spat the word ‘friend’ like it was venom on her tongue. She raised her head, her ears back and her tail flicking with annoyance. Jasper snapped his face to her; she’d never used that tone before, and it caught him off guard. He blinked in surprise to see anger on her face.

”Is...is something wrong?” He asked tentatively, furrowing his brows. The last time he saw her face look like that was when they ran into Hotah. But it had been directed at another horse that time, now it was directed at him. ”Did I do something?”

Lillian huffed in exasperation. She couldn’t believe how clueless he was.

”Wrong?” She scoffed. ”Yeah, I’ll tell you what’s wrong.” She started pacing, unable to stand still with the flurry of anger swirling inside her.

”I’m not good enough for you, that’s what’s wrong!” She hollered. Jasper blinked in utter surprise. He felt like he’d been slapped again.

”Wh...What?” He stammered out. He didn’t understand what was going on or what she meant. ”I-I don’t understand…” He said in a small voice. Lillian stopped in front of him and stomped her hoof.

”Of course you don’t! You’re too busy waiting for your stupid girlfriend to come back to notice anything else!”

”My...what?” Jasper was so completely confused. He felt small under her fiery gaze and he flipped his ears back.

”Yeah, you heard me.Your girlfriend. That stupid mare we met. That’s who you’ve been looking for, isn’t it?” She stared him down. Jasper glanced away; he hadn’t particularly said those exact words out loud, but he actually had been waiting to see her again. His silence spoke volumes.

”Right. So that’s what it is then,” Lillian growled through gritted teeth. ”I’m just not good enough.” Suddenly, she felt hot tears rising to the surface. All the emotions she’d been holding in were about to pour out. She turned away to hide her face; she hadn’t just been angry, she’d been upset too.

”Lillian-” Jasper turned his gaze back go her, hearing the break in her voice. ”What’s this all about? Of course you’re good enough, you-” He tried to explain, but she wouldn’t let him.

”Am I?” She whipped around to him, her voice rising once again. ”Am I good enough? Because you certainly don’t act like it!”

”Y-yes, you’re my-”

”Lead mare? Right!” She scoffed again, cutting him off once more. ”What does that matter when you don’t think of me as a mare?” And this time, she couldn't stop a tear escaping. Jasper watched it roll down her cheek and he felt his heart breaking; he didn’t understand what was going on. Not good enough? Lead mare? He was trying so hard to wrap his head around what she was talking about.

”I’m sorry, I-I don’t know-” He began as he took a step forward. But at his approach, she stepped back and stomped her hoof again.

”Look at me!” She cried, more tears escaping. Jasper blinked, he was looking at her. What did she mean?

”Lillian, I-”

”LOOK AT ME!” She screamed at him. A quiet sob escaped before she could get out her next words. Softly, she added, ”What am I to you?”

Jasper widened his eyes and looked at her- really looked at her, for the first time in a long time. He had been so busy and distracted that he hadn’t noticed the changes she’d gone through. She wasn’t the little filly he found in the forest that dark night. No, she had transformed; she was a mare now. He let his eyes trail from her face to her neck, where, instead of a short and choppy mane, lay long, thick tendrils of hair that danced in the wind. Then to her chest and shoulders that, instead of leading to thin, frail legs, were strong, hardy limbs, ready to run. Trailing back up to her face, he saw it there too; instead of the face of a child, thin and doe-eyed, there was the face of a mare, defined and strong. And her eyes- he’d never seen her eyes like that. There was something behind them, something only someone with mature understanding could have; pain, confusion, longing.

”Lillian-“ Jasper whispered, his voice breaking. But before he could apologize or even say anything, she shook her head and galloped away, leaving only a trail of tears behind.

”Wait! Lillian!” He called after her, but she didn’t stop. She crashed through the trees, blindly running this way and that, the emotions inside her fueling her need to run. She could hear Jasper calling behind her, apologizing and telling her to stop. But she couldn’t, no matter how much she wanted to.

Deep into the forest Lillian ran, until she burst into a small clearing. The vegetation was dense and near the middle sat a round pond. On its edge was a large willow tree, the branches spilling out over the water in long skinny strands, almost like hair. Lillian ran to the water and looked into it, her reflection staring back at her; what she saw was a tear stained face, anger and sadness etching her features. Quickly she looked away. That wasn’t a face she wanted to see- or anyone else to see for that matter. She paced by the edge of the water, her mind going a million miles an hour. For a moment, Lillian thought about running away, like she had done before. But she quickly put that out of her mind. No matter how angry and upset she was at him, she wouldn’t leave Jasper. She just needed a minute to herself, a minute to think rationally. She closed her eyes and tried to slow her breathing. She’d let her emotions get so out of control; how had that even happened? What was going on with her? Everything was so complicated.

A twig snap startled the mare out of her mind as her eyes popped open, scanning the area. Her gaze landed on a figure emerging from under the willows branches just as the familiar scent hit her; it was the mare.

”YOU!” Lillian bellowed as she came into view. Her emotions rose to the surface once again, only this time with pure and utter hatred. The mare didn’t seem at all surprised by that reaction, her face placid and her posture casual, but there was still that edge of caution she held.

”You’re still following us!?” Lillian couldn’t believe her eyes. The mare merely glanced away, only an ounce of embarrassment making its way to the surface. ”I just don’t get it! You say you don’t want a herd but you keep showing up to tease my lead! What’s wrong with you?” Lillian screeched. The fight with Jasper was still so fresh, and now the mystery mare had shown up again. It was enough to make her explode! However, at Lillian’s words, the mare frowned. Something about the way she looked at Lillian made her uncomfortable; she wasn’t angry or amused. She actually seemed...sad. It wasn’t what Lillian had expected.

”I never said I didn’t want a herd. I said yours wouldn’t want me.” She corrected Lillian somberly. Lillian’s discomfort was quickly wiped out. She snorted and stomped her hoof in irritation.

”Yeah, well we don’t want you! So stop following us and get lost!” The dark mare spat vehemently. She turned to walk away, but the mystery mare spoke up again.

”This is your first season, isn’t it?”

Lillian stopped in her tracks, eyes going wide. For a moment, the blind emotions seemed to move aside as the wheels in her mind turned, slowly coming to an answer she’d been searching for.

”What?” She said after a long pause. The mare took a few steps toward her.

”You’re in heat. You didn’t know?” This time, it was Lillian who felt like she had been slapped as something clicked inside her head. Jasper, her emotions- it all made sense now. She was too stunned to say anything as she turned around to face the mare once more. The mare, however, seemed to expect this reaction. She still had that sad expression too. Lillian’s emotions twisted inside her yet again.

”He hasn’t noticed either.” The mare said sullenly; it wasn’t a question. Lillian finally closed her mouth- which she just realized was hanging open -and swallowed hard. She dropped her eyes. Anger and pain were replaced by embarrassment, confusion, and fear. ”Didn’t your mother teach you about it?” The mare asked. Lillian could hear the concern in her voice- but why did she care? The anger flared up again.

”No. Not everyone grows up with a mother.” Lillian bit angrily at the words. There was a pause and then the mare spoke up again, hesitant for the first time.

”Did he...did he take you from her?” She asked in a low voice. Lillian snapped her head to the mare, eyes wide with shock.

”What?” She couldn’t believe what an outrageous thing she had just asked. ”No, no, she-” Lillian paused, furrowing her brows and tightening her jaw. ”My mother abandoned me.”

This was the only statement that seemed to bring surprise to the mares features, but it was quickly gone again. ”Oh, I see.” She paused and the same expression crossed her face from before; sad, but something else too, something that Lillian couldn’t quite read. ”I’m sorry.” Another silence passed between them and now the only sound was the distant calls of Jasper, still trying to find Lillian. He really wasn’t good at tracking.

”Why are you following us?” Lillian finally asked. She hadn’t admitted it to Jasper, but she had been just as curious to know why they kept running into the mysterious mare as he was. Her emotions hid the curiosity deep within her, but now standing in front of her, in this strange situation with her unreadable expressions, brought Lillian’s burning curiosity forth yet again. ”If you don’t think we would want you in our herd...then why follow us?” The mare wouldn’t meet her eyes and she moved her jaw, thinking of something to say. Lillian wanted to yell at her again, but she bit her tongue, holding back those raw emotions. She could see the confliction on the mares face and the curiosity reached it’s peak; she had to know. Finally, she spoke.

”I was following you because-” She paused, more embarrassment seeping out. ”Because I thought he had captured you.” She looked Lillian in the face, whose own expression morphed into shock once again. ”I wanted to make sure that he wasn’t hurting you or keeping you against your will. I had to make sure you were okay.” The sincerity in her voice and fierceness in her face astonished Lillian. She had done all of this for this long, just to make sure that Jasper wasn’t mistreating her? Suddenly, the anger sputtered and went out, shame setting in. Lillian had thought the worst of this mare, that perhaps she was trying to lure Jasper away or play tricks on them, when all along, here she was, innocently trying to make sure she was okay. But this only spurred more questions in Lillian. Why did she think she was in danger or being held against her will? Unless…

Sensing Lillian’s thoughts, the mare spoke again.

”Stallions haven’t been kind to me. But I must have misjudged yours. I’m sorry.” She dipped her head and took a step back, preparing to turn away. ”I’ll leave you two alone now.”

Another call from Jasper sounded then, much closer this time. Lillian glanced behind her; he was catching up. When she turned to look at the mare again, she had begun to leave.

”Wait!” Lillian blurted out suddenly. It came as a surprise to both of them. The mare stopped and gazed back at her. Lillian didn’t really know what she was going to say, but she felt terrible and she didn’t want to leave it like this.

”I’m Lillian. And...I’m the one who should be sorry.” She finally decided. ”Jasper is a great stallion- he took me in when I didn’t deserve it. This whole time he’s wanted to know why you were following us, and I’m sure it’s because he wanted to help you. So...if you really want to, you can join our herd.” Lillian dropped her head, letting her ears droop. At first the mare just stared at her, the slightest twitch in her brow the only movement on her face. Lillian still couldn’t read her expression- how was she so good at that? -but she could tell she was thinking of how to respond.

”Thank you, Lillian.” She said after a short silence. ”But you don’t want me to join.” That sad expression passed over her face again and Lillian couldn’t help but feel the guilt eat away at her.

”Okay, so I kinda don’t- but it’s only because I’m jealous!” Lillian tried again. She hadn’t admitted that out loud, and it shocked her that it came so easily to her lips. ”You’re just so pretty and I know he thinks so too. But I swear I can get over that. And I bet it’ll be better once I’m not- you know-” She stammered on the last part, feeling embarrassed again. For the first time the mare actually seemed happy. A tiny smile played at her lips, but then the sadness returned to her eyes.

”I appreciate that. But, that’s not really what I meant. I guess I wasn’t clear enough. I should have said that he wouldn’t want me.” The mare corrected herself. Lillian didn’t even try to hide her confusion.

”I don’t understand. Of course he would want you.” She stared at the mare, perplexion written on her face. The mare looked away, into the distance, staring at something and at nothing all at the same time.

”Maybe at first he would. But then I would go into heat, and he would try for a foal. And then he would see…” Her words trailed off. Lillian furrowed her brows.

”See...what?” She prompted the mare gently. Their eyes met again and for the briefest of moments, Lillian saw passed her hard exterior; she saw the pain and shame and sadness that she buried inside her.

”That I can’t have children.” She said plainly, as if it didn’t bother her at all. ”And then he would know I was worthless to him.”

Lillian understood now. She knew why this mare had followed them to make sure she was okay. It was because she’d been thrown away before, probably chased out by her leads. How many times had she been chased out? It didn’t matter. She pushed away the jealousy, feeling it fade away the more she thought about the mare.

”I’m so sorry.” Lillian said, and she truly meant it. ”But Jasper would never do that. I mean, for Pete's sake, he doesn’t even know I’m in heat.” She added with a nervous laugh. She stepped forward then, determined. ”Please, give him a chance. Give us a chance.”

The mare hesitated again. ”I...I don’t know.” She said honestly. Another hollar from Jasper came and she took another step back. ”He might change his mind when he finds out.”

”I won’t let him.” Lillian said defiantly. ”I’m his lead mare. He has to listen to me.” That earned another tiny smile from the mare. ”So, will you try, at least?”

They could hear Jasper walking through the trees now, snapping twigs and moving bushes. He was almost on top of them. The mare gulped. What did she really have to lose at this point? It was just one stallion and mare- would it really be that hard? She could easily escape them if she felt the need.

”Okay.” She said at last. Lillian’s face lit up just as Jasper broke through the line of trees.

”Lillian! There you are- Oh!” It only took him a moment to notice the mare. He looked between the two, more confusion twisting his features.

”Look, Jasper! I found her, and she said she’d join the herd!” Lillian chirped, trotting up beside the mare.

”What, really!?” Jasper smiled happily, staring sparkly-eyed at the two mares, though confusion still evident on his face. Lillian snickered, happy to see him looking at them both, not just at her.

”Yeah! Oh-” She turned to the mare, who looked embarrassed and uncomfortable. It couldn’t be helped though. ”I never found out your name. What should we call you?” She asked her. The mare was silent again, shifting on her feet as she looked between the two horses. She was having a hard time keeping up with her cool exterior under their curious gazes.

”Uh, Blair. My name’s Blair.” She said finally. Lillian smiled.

”Well, it’s nice to finally meet you properly, Blair.” She said. Blair nodded at the two of them.

”I’m glad you decided to join us, but- how did this happen? Are you still mad, Lillian?” Jasper stepped forward, eager to know what he missed. Lillian’s smile fell slightly and she glanced at Blair who returned her look with knowing eyes.

”Yeah, about that...I think we need to talk.” Lillian hid her embarrassment, but she felt her ears and cheeks burn. Jasper seemed even more confused than before. One minute, Lillian seemed to hate Blair, and then the next she had persuaded her to join their herd.

He might never understand mares.

word count: 3665

Jasper , Lillian , & Blair

All art & Characters © MatrixPotato

Reference for Jasper
Do not take, use, reupload, etc.
my work without my prior
written permission.

Description

133 Diamonds [ Full Body +20 | Colored +5 | Shading +5 | x2 Detailed BG +15 | x3 Herd Member +25 | Story +48 ]

pls let me know if i calculated this wrong and how to fix it thannnkssss 8'D

◄ PREVIOUS: Unveiled Part 2 | NEXT: The Birds and The Bees ►

Days stretched into weeks, and then into months. Things had been quiet- in more ways than one. There had been no more sightings of the mysterious mare, though they hadn’t traveled far from the valley, the one the mare had told them about. Jasper had done it purposefully in hopes that they would see her again, but they had no such luck. The only good thing was that the big old bear had indeed left them alone, just as the mare said he would.

Lillian struggled with feeling angry. Some days she couldn’t stand to look at Jasper, and some days she wished he would just look at her. She felt helpless and hopeless. She had been struggling to find the right words to say to Jasper, but it had been difficult. Every time she looked at him, words got stuck in her throat and she couldn’t speak. He hadn’t really noticed her silence either, it seemed. He was too busy watching the trees, his mind always wandering back to the mare, perplexed at her behavior and longing to understand.

On one particular day, it was much too hot to do any traveling, so they decided to rest in the shade of a tree. Lillian eventually dozed off while Jasper stood guard. However, when she awoke, Jasper was gone. She sat up, expecting him to be somewhere nearby, but as she looked around with groggy eyes, she didn’t see him. For only a heartbeat, she feared he might have run off with the mare- or something awful might have happened to him. But as she stood up and was about to call out to him, her eyes landed on his figure, some distance away.

He was partially in the shade of a line of trees, his eyes searching the shadows for something-, no, for someone. Lillian was certain he had thought he saw the mare again. It had happened before, in the last few weeks; he would go on about hearing something and seeing something, and then become consumed with figuring out what it was.

It made her blood boil. She hated the way she felt, but she hated watching him become so obsessed with someone else even more. She couldn’t hold it in any longer; regardless of her twisted feelings, she couldn’t go on without saying something. What she was going to say, however, even she didn’t know yet. But that didn’t matter. Lillian was too furious, pent up on the bottled up emotions she’d been feeling over the passed few months to care what came out or if it made sense. All she knew was that she was striding over to Jasper, angrier than she’d ever felt in her life- even angrier than when she’d fought with Delta.

”What are you doing?” Lillian demanded after halting beside the red stallion.

”Oh! You’re awake!” He said, startled at her sudden appearance as he glanced her way. But he slowly let his eyes drift back to the trees. ”Well, I thought I saw something...” His words trailed off as he became distracted by whatever it was he was searching for. This only made Lillian angrier.

”Right. Waiting to see if your friend will come back. Should have guessed.” Lillian spat the word ‘friend’ like it was venom on her tongue. She raised her head, her ears back and her tail flicking with annoyance. Jasper snapped his face to her; she’d never used that tone before, and it caught him off guard. He blinked in surprise to see anger on her face.

”Is...is something wrong?” He asked tentatively, furrowing his brows. The last time he saw her face look like that was when they ran into Hotah. But it had been directed at another horse that time, now it was directed at him. ”Did I do something?”

Lillian huffed in exasperation. She couldn’t believe how clueless he was.

”Wrong?” She scoffed. ”Yeah, I’ll tell you what’s wrong.” She started pacing, unable to stand still with the flurry of anger swirling inside her.

”I’m not good enough for you, that’s what’s wrong!” She hollered. Jasper blinked in utter surprise. He felt like he’d been slapped again.

”Wh...What?” He stammered out. He didn’t understand what was going on or what she meant. ”I-I don’t understand…” He said in a small voice. Lillian stopped in front of him and stomped her hoof.

”Of course you don’t! You’re too busy waiting for your stupid girlfriend to come back to notice anything else!”

”My...what?” Jasper was so completely confused. He felt small under her fiery gaze and he flipped his ears back.

”Yeah, you heard me.Your girlfriend. That stupid mare we met. That’s who you’ve been looking for, isn’t it?” She stared him down. Jasper glanced away; he hadn’t particularly said those exact words out loud, but he actually had been waiting to see her again. His silence spoke volumes.

”Right. So that’s what it is then,” Lillian growled through gritted teeth. ”I’m just not good enough.” Suddenly, she felt hot tears rising to the surface. All the emotions she’d been holding in were about to pour out. She turned away to hide her face; she hadn’t just been angry, she’d been upset too.

”Lillian-” Jasper turned his gaze back go her, hearing the break in her voice. ”What’s this all about? Of course you’re good enough, you-” He tried to explain, but she wouldn’t let him.

”Am I?” She whipped around to him, her voice rising once again. ”Am I good enough? Because you certainly don’t act like it!”

”Y-yes, you’re my-”

”Lead mare? Right!” She scoffed again, cutting him off once more. ”What does that matter when you don’t think of me as a mare?” And this time, she couldn't stop a tear escaping. Jasper watched it roll down her cheek and he felt his heart breaking; he didn’t understand what was going on. Not good enough? Lead mare? He was trying so hard to wrap his head around what she was talking about.

”I’m sorry, I-I don’t know-” He began as he took a step forward. But at his approach, she stepped back and stomped her hoof again.

”Look at me!” She cried, more tears escaping. Jasper blinked, he was looking at her. What did she mean?

”Lillian, I-”

”LOOK AT ME!” She screamed at him. A quiet sob escaped before she could get out her next words. Softly, she added, ”What am I to you?”

Jasper widened his eyes and looked at her- really looked at her, for the first time in a long time. He had been so busy and distracted that he hadn’t noticed the changes she’d gone through. She wasn’t the little filly he found in the forest that dark night. No, she had transformed; she was a mare now. He let his eyes trail from her face to her neck, where, instead of a short and choppy mane, lay long, thick tendrils of hair that danced in the wind. Then to her chest and shoulders that, instead of leading to thin, frail legs, were strong, hardy limbs, ready to run. Trailing back up to her face, he saw it there too; instead of the face of a child, thin and doe-eyed, there was the face of a mare, defined and strong. And her eyes- he’d never seen her eyes like that. There was something behind them, something only someone with mature understanding could have; pain, confusion, longing.

”Lillian-“ Jasper whispered, his voice breaking. But before he could apologize or even say anything, she shook her head and galloped away, leaving only a trail of tears behind.

”Wait! Lillian!” He called after her, but she didn’t stop. She crashed through the trees, blindly running this way and that, the emotions inside her fueling her need to run. She could hear Jasper calling behind her, apologizing and telling her to stop. But she couldn’t, no matter how much she wanted to.

Deep into the forest Lillian ran, until she burst into a small clearing. The vegetation was dense and near the middle sat a round pond. On its edge was a large willow tree, the branches spilling out over the water in long skinny strands, almost like hair. Lillian ran to the water and looked into it, her reflection staring back at her; what she saw was a tear stained face, anger and sadness etching her features. Quickly she looked away. That wasn’t a face she wanted to see- or anyone else to see for that matter. She paced by the edge of the water, her mind going a million miles an hour. For a moment, Lillian thought about running away, like she had done before. But she quickly put that out of her mind. No matter how angry and upset she was at him, she wouldn’t leave Jasper. She just needed a minute to herself, a minute to think rationally. She closed her eyes and tried to slow her breathing. She’d let her emotions get so out of control; how had that even happened? What was going on with her? Everything was so complicated.

A twig snap startled the mare out of her mind as her eyes popped open, scanning the area. Her gaze landed on a figure emerging from under the willows branches just as the familiar scent hit her; it was the mare.

”YOU!” Lillian bellowed as she came into view. Her emotions rose to the surface once again, only this time with pure and utter hatred. The mare didn’t seem at all surprised by that reaction, her face placid and her posture casual, but there was still that edge of caution she held.

”You’re still following us!?” Lillian couldn’t believe her eyes. The mare merely glanced away, only an ounce of embarrassment making its way to the surface. ”I just don’t get it! You say you don’t want a herd but you keep showing up to tease my lead! What’s wrong with you?” Lillian screeched. The fight with Jasper was still so fresh, and now the mystery mare had shown up again. It was enough to make her explode! However, at Lillian’s words, the mare frowned. Something about the way she looked at Lillian made her uncomfortable; she wasn’t angry or amused. She actually seemed...sad. It wasn’t what Lillian had expected.

”I never said I didn’t want a herd. I said yours wouldn’t want me.” She corrected Lillian somberly. Lillian’s discomfort was quickly wiped out. She snorted and stomped her hoof in irritation.

”Yeah, well we don’t want you! So stop following us and get lost!” The dark mare spat vehemently. She turned to walk away, but the mystery mare spoke up again.

”This is your first season, isn’t it?”

Lillian stopped in her tracks, eyes going wide. For a moment, the blind emotions seemed to move aside as the wheels in her mind turned, slowly coming to an answer she’d been searching for.

”What?” She said after a long pause. The mare took a few steps toward her.

”You’re in heat. You didn’t know?” This time, it was Lillian who felt like she had been slapped as something clicked inside her head. Jasper, her emotions- it all made sense now. She was too stunned to say anything as she turned around to face the mare once more. The mare, however, seemed to expect this reaction. She still had that sad expression too. Lillian’s emotions twisted inside her yet again.

”He hasn’t noticed either.” The mare said sullenly; it wasn’t a question. Lillian finally closed her mouth- which she just realized was hanging open -and swallowed hard. She dropped her eyes. Anger and pain were replaced by embarrassment, confusion, and fear. ”Didn’t your mother teach you about it?” The mare asked. Lillian could hear the concern in her voice- but why did she care? The anger flared up again.

”No. Not everyone grows up with a mother.” Lillian bit angrily at the words. There was a pause and then the mare spoke up again, hesitant for the first time.

”Did he...did he take you from her?” She asked in a low voice. Lillian snapped her head to the mare, eyes wide with shock.

”What?” She couldn’t believe what an outrageous thing she had just asked. ”No, no, she-” Lillian paused, furrowing her brows and tightening her jaw. ”My mother abandoned me.”

This was the only statement that seemed to bring surprise to the mares features, but it was quickly gone again. ”Oh, I see.” She paused and the same expression crossed her face from before; sad, but something else too, something that Lillian couldn’t quite read. ”I’m sorry.” Another silence passed between them and now the only sound was the distant calls of Jasper, still trying to find Lillian. He really wasn’t good at tracking.

”Why are you following us?” Lillian finally asked. She hadn’t admitted it to Jasper, but she had been just as curious to know why they kept running into the mysterious mare as he was. Her emotions hid the curiosity deep within her, but now standing in front of her, in this strange situation with her unreadable expressions, brought Lillian’s burning curiosity forth yet again. ”If you don’t think we would want you in our herd...then why follow us?” The mare wouldn’t meet her eyes and she moved her jaw, thinking of something to say. Lillian wanted to yell at her again, but she bit her tongue, holding back those raw emotions. She could see the confliction on the mares face and the curiosity reached it’s peak; she had to know. Finally, she spoke.

”I was following you because-” She paused, more embarrassment seeping out. ”Because I thought he had captured you.” She looked Lillian in the face, whose own expression morphed into shock once again. ”I wanted to make sure that he wasn’t hurting you or keeping you against your will. I had to make sure you were okay.” The sincerity in her voice and fierceness in her face astonished Lillian. She had done all of this for this long, just to make sure that Jasper wasn’t mistreating her? Suddenly, the anger sputtered and went out, shame setting in. Lillian had thought the worst of this mare, that perhaps she was trying to lure Jasper away or play tricks on them, when all along, here she was, innocently trying to make sure she was okay. But this only spurred more questions in Lillian. Why did she think she was in danger or being held against her will? Unless…

Sensing Lillian’s thoughts, the mare spoke again.

”Stallions haven’t been kind to me. But I must have misjudged yours. I’m sorry.” She dipped her head and took a step back, preparing to turn away. ”I’ll leave you two alone now.”

Another call from Jasper sounded then, much closer this time. Lillian glanced behind her; he was catching up. When she turned to look at the mare again, she had begun to leave.

”Wait!” Lillian blurted out suddenly. It came as a surprise to both of them. The mare stopped and gazed back at her. Lillian didn’t really know what she was going to say, but she felt terrible and she didn’t want to leave it like this.

”I’m Lillian. And...I’m the one who should be sorry.” She finally decided. ”Jasper is a great stallion- he took me in when I didn’t deserve it. This whole time he’s wanted to know why you were following us, and I’m sure it’s because he wanted to help you. So...if you really want to, you can join our herd.” Lillian dropped her head, letting her ears droop. At first the mare just stared at her, the slightest twitch in her brow the only movement on her face. Lillian still couldn’t read her expression- how was she so good at that? -but she could tell she was thinking of how to respond.

”Thank you, Lillian.” She said after a short silence. ”But you don’t want me to join.” That sad expression passed over her face again and Lillian couldn’t help but feel the guilt eat away at her.

”Okay, so I kinda don’t- but it’s only because I’m jealous!” Lillian tried again. She hadn’t admitted that out loud, and it shocked her that it came so easily to her lips. ”You’re just so pretty and I know he thinks so too. But I swear I can get over that. And I bet it’ll be better once I’m not- you know-” She stammered on the last part, feeling embarrassed again. For the first time the mare actually seemed happy. A tiny smile played at her lips, but then the sadness returned to her eyes.

”I appreciate that. But, that’s not really what I meant. I guess I wasn’t clear enough. I should have said that he wouldn’t want me.” The mare corrected herself. Lillian didn’t even try to hide her confusion.

”I don’t understand. Of course he would want you.” She stared at the mare, perplexion written on her face. The mare looked away, into the distance, staring at something and at nothing all at the same time.

”Maybe at first he would. But then I would go into heat, and he would try for a foal. And then he would see…” Her words trailed off. Lillian furrowed her brows.

”See...what?” She prompted the mare gently. Their eyes met again and for the briefest of moments, Lillian saw passed her hard exterior; she saw the pain and shame and sadness that she buried inside her.

”That I can’t have children.” She said plainly, as if it didn’t bother her at all. ”And then he would know I was worthless to him.”

Lillian understood now. She knew why this mare had followed them to make sure she was okay. It was because she’d been thrown away before, probably chased out by her leads. How many times had she been chased out? It didn’t matter. She pushed away the jealousy, feeling it fade away the more she thought about the mare.

”I’m so sorry.” Lillian said, and she truly meant it. ”But Jasper would never do that. I mean, for Pete's sake, he doesn’t even know I’m in heat.” She added with a nervous laugh. She stepped forward then, determined. ”Please, give him a chance. Give us a chance.”

The mare hesitated again. ”I...I don’t know.” She said honestly. Another hollar from Jasper came and she took another step back. ”He might change his mind when he finds out.”

”I won’t let him.” Lillian said defiantly. ”I’m his lead mare. He has to listen to me.” That earned another tiny smile from the mare. ”So, will you try, at least?”

They could hear Jasper walking through the trees now, snapping twigs and moving bushes. He was almost on top of them. The mare gulped. What did she really have to lose at this point? It was just one stallion and mare- would it really be that hard? She could easily escape them if she felt the need.

”Okay.” She said at last. Lillian’s face lit up just as Jasper broke through the line of trees.

”Lillian! There you are- Oh!” It only took him a moment to notice the mare. He looked between the two, more confusion twisting his features.

”Look, Jasper! I found her, and she said she’d join the herd!” Lillian chirped, trotting up beside the mare.

”What, really!?” Jasper smiled happily, staring sparkly-eyed at the two mares, though confusion still evident on his face. Lillian snickered, happy to see him looking at them both, not just at her.

”Yeah! Oh-” She turned to the mare, who looked embarrassed and uncomfortable. It couldn’t be helped though. ”I never found out your name. What should we call you?” She asked her. The mare was silent again, shifting on her feet as she looked between the two horses. She was having a hard time keeping up with her cool exterior under their curious gazes.

”Uh, Blair. My name’s Blair.” She said finally. Lillian smiled.

”Well, it’s nice to finally meet you properly, Blair.” She said. Blair nodded at the two of them.

”I’m glad you decided to join us, but- how did this happen? Are you still mad, Lillian?” Jasper stepped forward, eager to know what he missed. Lillian’s smile fell slightly and she glanced at Blair who returned her look with knowing eyes.

”Yeah, about that...I think we need to talk.” Lillian hid her embarrassment, but she felt her ears and cheeks burn. Jasper seemed even more confused than before. One minute, Lillian seemed to hate Blair, and then the next she had persuaded her to join their herd.

He might never understand mares.

word count: 3665

Jasper , Lillian , & Blair

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