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Published: 2004-07-17 06:42:18 +0000 UTC; Views: 1198; Favourites: 24; Downloads: 141
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Description
This is how I see myself. No, I don't see myself as a camera - I see myself as nothing. I've gotten so tired of my self image over the years, that I've simply trained my brain not to see it. When I shave, I have no memory of how exactly I accomplised it, when try on clothes, my memories don't remember anything from it. When I dream, I am always the omnicient presence - the none existent observer. How sad is it that I don't exsist to myself? That I have no image of myself in my mind, that when I replay scenerios or plan things in my head, I simply am, with no substance?Anyways, all of this probably doesn't make any sense to any of you. I did this shot a while ago, and thought I'd throw it up. I was reminded of it when I walked by a mirror and thought that I saw something in my hair, but by the time I turned around, I'd deleted myself from that memory, and halfway to the mirror I forgot why I was going towards it.
I'm kinda playing with the idea of people who take self portraits in mirrors, which can sometimes be really cheesy. But since, on closer inspection, the image isn't inverted, and you can't actually see the mirror, it changes the meaning a bit. I don't know. I'm starting to babble, so I'll stop.
Contructive criticism always appreciated.
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Comments: 47
saturninus [2005-02-25 22:14:30 +0000 UTC]
This is great in its simplicity.
The machine, the sharp symmetry and the great BW tones create together a fabulous picture.
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mckenzie In reply to saturninus [2005-02-27 00:26:12 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much ... this one will always be one of my favourites.
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suzums [2004-10-02 04:30:02 +0000 UTC]
I must be honest and say that i was a little confused when photo first finished loading.. I thought, since is a self portrait... where the hell are you?! But anyways... this is an reflection i think many of us can relate to, but never able to explain it right. Your explanation has put the photo into one piece.
Nothingness surrounds all of us. Your message is delievered, and its like a wake up call.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
mckenzie In reply to suzums [2004-10-10 20:58:48 +0000 UTC]
Wow -thank you kindly. I was really worried that people wouldn't be able to identify with this piece. But I'm glad that what I wanted to say successfully came through ...
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elmoo88 [2004-08-30 17:02:16 +0000 UTC]
Wow... The "nothingness" you describe is a mood that sometimes passes me by...
But you feeling like that 24/7 really hits me... You say you've gotten tired of your self-image... So does that mean you consider yourself "ugly"? Could that also be the reason you are the photographer, and not the one photographed?
You say you've gotten used to exclude your appearance from you memories and from your dreams... That really disturbs me to be honest... I can't imagine someone dislikes his- or herself so much that they'd rather not have anything to do with their self-image... Of course, the "exterior" of a person is just the tip of the iceberg, but without it, you would not be complete...
It is a great picture though! I love it
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mckenzie In reply to elmoo88 [2004-10-21 16:20:16 +0000 UTC]
Whoa ... I seriously though that I'd responded to you already ... I'm seriously sorry that it's taken so long.
It's not that I consider myself to be ugly ... just annoyingly and boringly unnattractive. I've never been asked out, I've never been noticed. Maybe I'm just plain (and fat). But people can't even visualize me being in relationship, and to be honest, neither can I. I HATE that I just go unnoticed to everyone but myself - so I got rid of it. Right now, while typing this to you, I can't even conjure up what I look like ... in fact, I even had to make my deviant icon my own self portrait so that I wouldn't completely forget (because it was starting to freak me out ... kinda).
But yeah - I have really come to hate my exterior that much. I would change it in a heartbeat, and never look back.
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VonSigra [2004-07-30 21:49:47 +0000 UTC]
This is a gorgeous piece, through and through. The image iself is so, still and crisp. Almost has this haunting nothingness to it. The camera is perfect as well. I feel this wouldn't be nearly as great without the decription along with it. They work so beautiful to grasp and convey that overall invisable physicality philosophy. I truely enjoy this piece and am eager to see what comes next from you. Great, job.
I truely wish more people would combine their visuals with a written piece to compliment it, wheither it be an explaination, poem, or even a description of how it was done. Their meshing can make for a truely moving experience.
Much
~ Evan
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mckenzie In reply to VonSigra [2004-08-02 18:20:40 +0000 UTC]
I cannot STAND it when people don't leave a description - it's always nice to know what the artist thinks about the piece, especially in an online setting, since you can't just ask them all the time.
Thank you so much for your comment - I was trying to achieve that 'haunting nothingness', so I'm glad that it was able to come across.
Thanks again for taking the time to comment on my work.
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VonSigra In reply to mckenzie [2004-08-02 20:01:59 +0000 UTC]
I only take the time since I love your work
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xandershanks [2004-07-21 20:21:10 +0000 UTC]
super-smart idea.
very original and a great play on the typical self-portrait.
coolness.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
mckenzie In reply to xandershanks [2004-07-22 15:03:25 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much - I was hoping that it wouldn't look stupid, 'coz that's really how I see myself most of the time. Thanks for the comment.
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mckenzie In reply to nnyn [2004-07-22 15:04:59 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much - I'm not sure if I'd call it profound, I guess just because it's about me.
Thank you very much for commenting, it's greatly appreciated.
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Sinzen76 [2004-07-19 02:55:18 +0000 UTC]
both the shot and what you wrote is very cool in my books. the concept and the philosophies behind it all is very deep and really goes along certain things that I've thought all along as well. wicked work!
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mckenzie In reply to Sinzen76 [2004-07-22 15:06:54 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much - I was kinda afraid that because this is something person, that people wouldn't be able to identify with it.
Thank you so much for your comment - it was greatly appreciated.
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mckenzie In reply to BrentonJ [2004-07-22 15:08:47 +0000 UTC]
Thank you for saying that - I guess that was part of what I was trying to say. My physical self may not exsist, so I guess I just make my presence known in other ways ... either that, or I'm just insane.
Thank you so much for commenting - it's greatly appreciated.
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BrentonJ In reply to mckenzie [2004-07-24 16:30:39 +0000 UTC]
I refuse to think you've evolved beyone a physical shell BEFORE I have, so you must exist.
; )
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mckenzie In reply to BrentonJ [2004-07-27 20:14:26 +0000 UTC]
That's the best comment that I've gotten thus far ... though if I DO achieve transcendence before you, I'll come visit you in you primitive, human state. lol
Thanks for taking the time to comment.
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colinblakley [2004-07-18 07:23:06 +0000 UTC]
mckenzie
your concept is really strong here. the words and image make that clear. so go with it!!!
the thing that makes someone a truly great artist is NOT talent, it is obsession. it is the thing that drives you.
this is exciting to see this because it feels like you are getting closer to the the root of what drives you. you so are brilliant!!! take it from me, the only way to get anywhere is going down the same path. you are there, now take the next step, show us what comes next.
jack kerouac once said of robert frank, "you got eyes" now i say it to you, "you got eyes" show us more...
colin
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mckenzie In reply to colinblakley [2004-07-23 01:52:17 +0000 UTC]
Whoa.
Thank you so much, your words have really hit me deeply. The only problem so far is now I'm not sure how much further I can go. I guess I've just avoided my issues for so long I guess that I'm a little scared to analyse them enough to express them.
Does that make sense?
But I guess I have to, I've got no choice, right?
But seriously, thank you for your comment. I seriously need to start reading some Jack Kerouac ...
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colinblakley In reply to mckenzie [2004-07-23 05:26:49 +0000 UTC]
one of the ways i know i have something good is if it makes me nervous or uncomfortable to look at.
if you ever need some one to talk to i'm always here for you.
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Tatterdemalion62588 [2004-07-18 04:55:31 +0000 UTC]
You put a lot of work into the explanation, and its one of the few I've seen that done for on this site. Brings us closer to the work, so that it stops being a work and is just it.
i'm losing words now, but echoing the masses, good job.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
mckenzie In reply to Tatterdemalion62588 [2004-07-22 15:11:18 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much for commenting on that. I find that my work can be very personal sometimes, and I feel the need not to 'explain' but to let people know what I was thinking when it was made, so maybe they'll understand it better. Personally, I really think that more people should.
Anyways, thanks again for you comment - it was greatly appreciated.
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dantejoyce [2004-07-17 16:41:03 +0000 UTC]
first off, that is a very nice camerea. i really like this photo, and you're babbling adds a lot of meaning to the capture. good work with this, and i hope you can redefine your self image as what you want it.
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mckenzie In reply to dantejoyce [2004-07-22 15:16:08 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much for you comment on my work, and on the camera. It's greatly appreciated.
The funny thing about my self image is, however, I've gotten used to it not being there, and I suppose that I'm in no hurry to fix that situation.
Anyways, thanks again for taking the time to comment.
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barefootliam [2004-07-17 16:19:35 +0000 UTC]
yes, nice shot of good camera...
feelings of self-worth can be affected by self-image of course. important to avoid interference. sets up resonances only a good trained counsellor can dispel. even in england
maybe you could test your self-image by going naked everywhere?
Liam
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mckenzie In reply to barefootliam [2004-07-22 15:17:58 +0000 UTC]
lol - That would be an extremely BAD idea, not just for myself, but for everyone else. I think I'll just let it fester, and when I'm a stinkin' rich photography, fly over to england and get it fixed.
Thank you very much for taking the time to comment.
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barefootliam In reply to mckenzie [2004-07-22 16:50:27 +0000 UTC]
lol ok. how does flying to England fix yuor self-image? Or is it just that public nudity is legal there?
Liam
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mckenzie In reply to barefootliam [2004-07-23 01:54:58 +0000 UTC]
No, I was saying I'll go to England for a good psychologist.
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barefootliam In reply to mckenzie [2004-07-23 07:28:37 +0000 UTC]
oh, I see No idea if they are better in England, Canada or the USA (the three places I've lived for any length of time at all, unless you count 3 months in Italy).
Liam
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
infra5 [2004-07-17 14:44:46 +0000 UTC]
First I like the camera and someday will own one. 2nd I don't know what to say other then I feel you and have an idea of what you mean. I like the idea of this..
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mckenzie In reply to infra5 [2004-07-22 15:18:49 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much for commenting, but even more for understanding. It's greatly appreciated.
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jumpingrope [2004-07-17 12:51:49 +0000 UTC]
Nice camera by the way.
Very poetic, I just can't agree with the "no substance" part, if so you wouldn't be as productive and lucid as you are with your photos.
They turn out good and you are the brain.
Your presence is always there even if you don't pose in them, they are a refelction of your soul, of your inner world.
I think you do a pretty well job... So never stop whayt you do best
Cheers--- Luis
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
mckenzie In reply to jumpingrope [2004-07-22 15:56:26 +0000 UTC]
I understand what you mean, and I don't mean to say that I have no substance, just no visual substance. Unless I try very hard, I cannot remember what I look like, and when I do remember I just re-repress that memory.
I guess that's why there's a lot of me in my work, because I'm just trying to compensate for that, I guess.
Thank you so much for your comments and your encouraging words. They're greatly appreciated.
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me-first [2004-07-17 09:38:40 +0000 UTC]
I think Your last work come from a very good suggestion.
Sometimes, if I watch careless into mirrors it seems
I can see everything but myself.. Maybe it's causewe're so
use to see our images, our eyes automatically delete it..
And so.. another mckenziegreatidea with a strong,
hicontrasted light creating a nice composition of lines.
WellDone!..even if I feel a little "cheesy" about my
autoportraits through the mirror..
p.s.
thanks for your comments to my autoportrait, i didn't mean
my image could comunicate to others the same emotions
I felt workin' on it. And it's such great!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
mckenzie In reply to me-first [2004-07-22 15:58:05 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much - I hope that I didn't suggest that ALL pictures in mirrors were cheesy, because yours definately weren't. I loved yours, and I'm really loving your work. Keep it up.
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zerothirtythree [2004-07-17 09:11:10 +0000 UTC]
when i first clicked on this
i thought it was going to be one of those oh-so-tired "HAY GUYZ, I AM IN A MIRRUR. COOL EH?"
shots.
much to my releif it wasn't
so thank you for that.
i'm intrigued by the way your mind works
the writing was actually more interesting than the picture i think
but they compliment each other perfectly.
plus...that is one sexy camera. i lust it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
mckenzie In reply to zerothirtythree [2004-07-22 16:01:33 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much, for all your comments. It's interesting that you thought, at first glance, that it was what I didn't want it to be. That's great.
I was hoping that words would help validate the image. I'm glad that they were about to compliment it.
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dirtywhitedress [2004-07-17 07:20:35 +0000 UTC]
There's a whole philosophy behind that..that none of us really exist and what not..but frankly it's too late for that so all I have to say is that I am in love with your camera. I want it.
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mckenzie In reply to dirtywhitedress [2004-07-22 16:03:46 +0000 UTC]
lol - thank you very much for your comment. I've always liked that idea, but I guess it's also just because it gives me an excuse not ti exist.
Thanks again for taking the time to comment.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
S3NS3R [2004-07-17 07:02:30 +0000 UTC]
I think it's really interesting how you don't see yourself as existing. Then it got me thinking that maybe I can work with that as a story. If you don't mind, that is. I hope I could think of how I can make that work.
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mckenzie In reply to S3NS3R [2004-07-22 16:05:36 +0000 UTC]
That would be really, really cool. If you do do it, promise you'll let me read it?
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S3NS3R In reply to mckenzie [2004-07-23 05:54:33 +0000 UTC]
of course! as soon as I'm done I'll let you read it....but I've been kinda busy at the moment so I'm not sure when I'll get it done but I'll be sure to tell you when I'm finished
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mckenzie In reply to S3NS3R [2004-07-27 20:16:29 +0000 UTC]
Excellent - I look forward to it.
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