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Original story "The Haw-nival" written by: Monkey-Scientist

Edited and expanded on by: Meatmob

CHAPTER 1 - November 31st

Let me start by saying that I’ve always found carnivals boring. I’m not sure why I seem to forget this fact every time they’re in town. A day at the carnival always seems like a good idea but despite its promise of adventure and whimsy, I always end up bored. Maybe it’s just me but it all feels so… fake! These thoughts came into my head as I found myself staring at a poster for the carnival hanging outside the supermarket. In big, bold, colorful, carnival style letters it exclaimed:
COME DOWN TO THE CLOUDLAND CARNIVAL
GUARANTEED FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!
Admission: Adults: $40 - Children 2-13: $20
ONE WEEK ONLY! • NOVEMBER 27 - DECEMBER 1
I couldn’t stop thinking about that poster on the drive home. There was no way I was going to waste another $40 this year. I’ve learned my lesson! How many times do I need to be disappointed? “Guaranteed Fun”?! Yea, Right. Despite my objections, I thought about the poster all night. I just couldn’t get it out of my head! Some part of my subconscious wanted me to go to this thing. Tomorrow was the last day of the carnival and I decided I needed to go just to prove to myself that I was being stupid and with that thought I finally drifted off to sleep.

That morning, I threw on my favorite old jeans, a white t-shirt, and red sneakers and went to the kitchen for some breakfast. I thought about inviting some friends to come along but decided I didn’t want anyone or anything preventing me from leaving when I got bored.

I arrived a little after 10:30 am. The HUGE banner at the entrance screaming “CLOUDLAND CARNIVAL” was unmistakable. The ticket booth was right out front and I hurried over to get my ticket before I got stuck behind the horde of children I saw spilling out of a bus nearby. The carnival seemed a lot bigger than the ones from previous years. My sneakers kicked up some dust as I wandered deeper inside. Food tents, animal stables, rigged carnival games, poorly maintained rides… all the same old stuff was here. Wandering around for over an hour made me realize I was right… this was boring. I was going to leave but it was almost lunchtime and I was getting hungry. I kept my eyes pealed for something to eat when suddenly, amidst the standard carnival fair, a glint of light caught my peripheral vision. I wandered down a small side ally to investigate and saw a shiny metal pole with a threaded top stuck into the grass in front of a small wooden stage. It was just sitting there unattended and off the beaten path.
The stage itself looked very old and had one of those wooden face-in-the-hole things standing in the middle of it. You know the kind; a life-sized picture with the face area cutout on the front and a person goes behind and shoves their face in the hole? This particular one depicted a donkey. This four-legged beast of burden had grey fur everywhere except on it’s white stomach. It had four stubby legs, a large saggy gut, four hooves, and a long tail with a small tuft of black fur sticking out from its backside. I was surprised by the amount of detail in the painting. All the carnival cut-outs I’d ever seen featured cartoony drawings on the front but this one seemed unusually realistic. The beautiful artistry on this otherwise dull painting of a dumb animal made me want to get my picture taken with it.

The metal pole must be a tripod for a camera. The carnival must set up a camera there and charge patrons for photos with their faces imposed over the silly body. There didn't appear to be anyone around to take a photo. Neither a camera nor a photographer was anywhere to be seen. I looked over to the area in front of the stage and along the face of the step in red, hand painted letters it read,

PHOTOS: $5 - NO SELFIES!
Selfies are against the rules? It's just a wooden cut-out! Sure, it's a highly detailed cut-out but it’s just standing there, unattended and in public view. I should be allowed to take a photo with my phone! Besides, nobody was around right now anyway.

I sat down on the step, removed the shoelace from my left sneaker and rigged up a little harness to hold my phone. I looked around cautiously before I hung my smartphone from the metal pole. I maneuvered the shoelace around to get it into a useable position. A few seconds later I had my phone securely strapped to a higher part of the tripod and pointed directly at the cut-out. I took my fingers off and backed away to make sure it was steady. I set the camera timer for one minute and gently tapped the shutter button to get it started.
As I ran towards the stage, my laceless shoe fell off. “I’ll retrieve it after the photo,” I thought. I stepped gently onto the wooden stage and it squeaked against my weight. I walked briskly behind the cut-out and stuck my face through the hole in the wood. I stuck my tongue out and let out a loud bray just as the phone clicked and took the picture.

I attempted to remove my head from the hole to retrieve my things but it closed tightly around my head, keeping my face stuck in the hole. My entire body went numb with the exception of my face. I couldn't feel anything; it was like my body didn't exist at all! My face started to tingle as I felt it begin to slowly fuse with the wood below it. My face became attached to the wooden donkey's neck. I was fusing with the picture!

A wave of fear passed though me as I struggled to pull free. I felt the image below me begin to move so I glanced down and caught sight of the donkey's legs beginning to turn solid, the fur along them becoming real in the process. The donkey slowly emerged from the board becoming physical in the process! Not only was the donkey becoming real but also I found I was in control of it. I could sense everything as if it were my own limbs and body!

The previously two-dimensional image continued to solidify and I gained more and more control in the process. I could feel the hooves, the tail with its tuft at the end, the black colored mane stretching across my neck. The donkey’s mane soon overtook my own brown hair, leaving me with a rather bestial donkey's coif seated atop my head! The donkey’s long, grey ears slowly pulled themselves off the board, expanded and attached themselves to top of my head. Having full control of the fuzzy donkey ears, I could suddenly hear everything in a way I never had before.

The changes eventually slowed and subsided leaving me standing there in front of the cut-out as a human-faced donkey. It was as if I had stepped through the wooden board! Behind me was the board, but now with a huge donkey-shaped hole in it. I felt as if I was going insane. How could this happen?! Had the picture really been brought to life and become a body for me to wear?!

I looked down at my body in shock and fear and tried to come to grips with what I saw. My hands and feet had been replaced with hooves, which felt extremely odd to say the least. It felt like I was wearing tap-dancing shoes that had been glued on and it made a familiar clopping noise with every step I made. No more fingers. No more toes. I was no longer able to manipulate anything in a meaningful way. The strange sensation of my new tail wiggling around from my backside snapped me back to reality. I could control it but occasionally and involuntarily, the black tuft at the end smacked my sides.

“HELP! What’s happening to MEEEEEE-HAAAAW?!” A loud donkey's bray escaped my mouth before I had the chance to finish my sentence. While I was a glad I could still speak, the fact that I brayed at random intervals was unsettling. I forced down the feeling of panic that was creeping up inside me. It took all my strength to try to remain calm. Why was this happening to me? What do I do now?

“Ok. I NEED to find help. Someone here must know what’s going on,” I thought. I placed one hoof in front of the other and attempted to walk off the stage. This, of course, wasn't as easy as I thought it would be! I wasn't used to walking with four legs or hooves. My legs wobbled like a baby deer. My tail waved around nervously as I shuffled my hooves across the wooden stage. I eventually made it to the edge of the small stage. The step looked intimidating so I leapt off with my eyes closed and landed miraculously on the grass, on all four hooves, right next to my fallen red shoe.

I clopped off toward the metal pole with my phone tied to it. I looked back toward the stage, past my shoe, and noticed the board with the previously donkey shaped hole in it was now just a plain old dirty board with NO HOLES. The “NO SELFIES!” sign stared back at me as I felt my panic returning. “I guess they meant it!” I thought as I decided to focus my attention on a way to get back to normal!

My hooves kicked up rocks and dirt as I started to clop back toward main area. I worried about scaring the other carnival guests when they saw what a freak I was but I had no choice. If I apologized to the carnival people for my "unlawful" selfie, maybe they'd give me my body back! I looked around desperately for someone to help me. Where did everyone go? I perked up my large donkey ears and quickly realized how quiet it had become. All the laughing, honking, screaming, bells, and music were gone. I was alone here.

There had to be someone here; a security guard maybe? I continued walking around on my new hooves and found myself quickly adjusting to them. I stopped next to the fun-house mirror and glared at the distorted image of my new body. The wiry, grey, fur covered body with its chubby belly, the one covered in white fur, was now mine. I was a common jackass. The only part of me that remained human was my face; every other part was 100% donkey! I was still confused as to why I had become a donkey now but I assumed it had to do with that "No Selfies" sign. I'm not sure why breaking a selfie rule is a crime punishable by being turned into a donkey, but I was not one bit amused by it.

The carnival was like a ghost town. Everything was disturbingly quiet. I couldn't hear any voices nearby which seemed odd considering how large my donkey ears were! These things are like mini-satellites, bringing in sound from all over. I finally reached the front of the carnival when it dawned on me; the reason I couldn't find anyone here was because the carnival was closed! I stood there in front of the giant lock on the front gate and started to cry. My suppressed fears finally caught up with me. The massive metal gates kept me barred off from any outside help. I was stuck here.

I must have stood there for ten minutes with tears on my cheeks, unable to wipe them away. “Pull it together man!” I thought. Don’t give up, do something productive! I knew any attempt to jimmy the lock with my useless hooves would prove impossible so I headed back into the park to find help. Why the carnival was closed at this hour? The carnival was supposed to stay open until 6 but it was only noon! Or, at least I thought it was. I cocked my furry head upwards and saw a clock hanging on the side of the ticket booth. An icy chill ran down my donkey spine when I saw it was after 7pm. How long did that transformation take?

Pulling my new body off that board felt like it took about five minutes yet somehow seven hours had passed! I grumbled and brayed as I hung my head in shame. Realizing I was trapped in this carnival and maybe in this body forever, I trotted forth on my new hooves and looked for a place to spend the night.

The stables! I remembered passing them earlier and realized they may be the only place here where a human-faced donkey could comfortably lie down for the night. Trotting through the deserted aisles at an empty carnival… alone… in the dark… trapped in the body of a donkey… was freaking me out. My mind was racing with the realization that I was going to have to sleep here and I wasn’t any closer to getting back to normal. "Calm down and relax, panicking will get me nowhere. I’ll think clearer after a good night’s sleep and I can attack this problem with fresh eyes in the morning,” I told myself. I felt the donkey’s… I mean, my stomach rumble and realized I hadn’t eaten since breakfast.

I clippity-clopped my way over to the food tents to assess the situation. I could still smell the funnel cakes and popcorn in the air. There had to be something here I could eat. I walked under and around each food tent searching for something edible when I spotted it. There was a box sitting on the counter inside the “Pirate Pizza” tent. I was able to grasp its corner with my teeth and pull it to the floor. It hit with a thud and five “Pizzas-on-a-stick” spilled out onto the grimy floor. The “Ewww-HAWWW!” that came pouring from my mouth startled me again. I thought twice about eating it but I was starving so I gobbled them up in no time and started to feel a little better.

The staff tent sat directly behind the food tents and between the stables and me. Maybe someone is still in there that can help me! Besides, going through was a shortcut to the stables and I was feeling tired. I stuck my head through the flap under the “STAFF ONLY” sign and called out, “HELLOOOO…HAWWW!” I’ll never get used to that. I perked up my giant ears to listen for a response but my plea was met with dead silence.

I slowly made my way inside the large tent. A pile of broken bumper cars sat in the corner. The changing areas for the performers lined one side and there were costumes strewn all about. I was instantly creeped out when I noticed the masks that lined the wall behind me. It was as if they had all been watching me: Clowns, gorillas, lions, elephants, and a donkey.

Staring into the empty eye holes of the donkey mask in the dark tent reminded me of my predicament. I could feel the tears welling up inside me again so I forced myself to move on. I yawned, hung my head, and walked toward the exit. I was almost to the other side of the tent near the stables when I noticed a big metal box on an old wooden table near the exit. It looked like a camera. It must be the camera that was missing from the face-in-the-hole photo area. “I’ll have to check it out again in the morning”, I thought.

As I exited the tent, a wave of nausea came over me. I galloped over to the nearby bushes as my body started to convulse involuntarily and expel all of the pizza-on-a-stick I just ate covered in yellow bile. I continued to heave until there was nothing left in my stomach and then I heaved some more. The vomiting eventually subsided but my exhausted body could barely continue to stand. “I guess donkeys shouldn't eat pizza,” I thought.

Wearily, I searched for an open stable. My new ears could hear the animals sleeping inside but all the stables were locked up for the night. From the corner of my eye, I spotted my salvation: A large pile of hay! A pile of hay isn't the most suitable replacement for a stable, but at least it's something soft I can sleep on. I plopped my fat belly down on its side and subconsciously began chewing on the bits of hay near my mouth. As I drifted off to sleep, I thought about the events that had transpired. I reflected on how stupid the "No Selfies" rule was, how abysmal my situation was, and how odd that cut-out was. Then I thought, “I wonder what my phone captured when it took that picture.”