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A Tribute to Al Bundy

There once was a man
Who sold only shoes
But his life would be filled
With a permanent case of the blues

His name was Al Bundy
A great athlete in high school
Not the smartest guy around
But certainly no fool

He had many achievements
4 touchdowns in 1 game
He had it all coming towards him
Women, fortune and fame

But little did he know
He only had so much luck
Something would come around the corner
Then Al would be fuc-

Peg Wanker was her name
A fruit from the south
Gigantic red hair
And a rather noisy mouth

Regardless of all that
She caught Al’s eye
And soon Al’s good life
Was just about to die

The high school sweethearts
Decided to get married
And it was then decided
Al’s life had been buried

Suddenly it all happened
Against Al’s will
But Peg’s father was there
Hammered and ready to kill

Bad things would happen
If Al didn’t marry the daughter
Among those terrible things
They all involved “slaughter”

And so it was finished
The dreaded deed was done
Gone were the days
Of Al Bundy’s fun

Not long after the ceremony
Something kicked in Peg’s belly
It was the hellspawn we know
That they would one day name “Kelly”

So Al and Peg’s parenthood
Had now taken flight
However, the downside to that
Is that Kelly wasn’t too bright

She wasn’t too intelligent
Not very smart
And her snatch was more open
Than a 24-hour Wal-Mart

Then came another
The boy’s name was “Bud”
But just like Kelly
This one was another dud

Not as dumb as Kelly
But how could THAT be?
Oh yes, I forgot
His last name is “Bundy”

A sneaky little guy
Thought a lot of himself
And thought something like love
Could be bought on a shelf

And so it came to be
This was Al Bundy’s Hell
A fate so bad, Death said
“I’ll be a bastard, I won’t ring his bell”

So you’ve heard Bundy’s story
So it’s rather plain to see
He’s Married…With Children
…He’ll never be free