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Memory-Clock — Shhh
Published: 2013-01-10 05:54:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 333; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description
Shhh
Been a long time,
it's getting cold and slightly creepy around here,
and though I'm naturaly a chin-up kind of person I feel myself slipping.
At times like these I have always been the one to wrap myself in a blanket of friends
or type myself pritty poetry that, once I have no use for it,
I delete.
Rather lately my blankets are soft but empty, cold even
as they tangle with me,
emotions have gone stale.
I am hidden somewhere,
and I am desperately alone,
scared of that shaddow that follows.
A uniformed figure that threatens to tear me apart,
it wants to take away the only living,
breathing thing that always remains in my being.
Every silence is worse than noises familiar,
and ones unknown jump up to my throat and burn holes in my soul,
do they see me?
Shhh, don't be to loud nor be so quiet you brake your own silence,
click off the lights but don't hide in the dark,
walk quietly, but quickly over the squeaky floors.
Search, but don't be obvious they wont like that,
they are moving all around, dont scream,
a door begans to creek.
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Comments: 14
I'm not sure I should share this, cause it's kinda sad, but Tad went to the big frog pond in the sky. I've raised and released several baby toads, but Tad was the first tadpole I ever had. He was in with the minnows we got at a ice fishing contest last January. It was so cool to watch him grow legs, and absorb his tail. He was a bit of a slow learner when it came to eating crickets, and it usually took him several attempts to eat a worm, but he was pretty good at catching wounded flies. So last week I decided it was time for him to be free and fulfill his destiny as King of the frog pond . I found a perfect pond and set him on a rock with lots of flies in the area. I went back to check on him later that day, and he had ... croaked. I think he might have tried to eat one of the hornets that were buzzing around his little lifeless body. I know he was just a frog, but when you take care of someone that long, you can't help but get a little bit attached. I guess the lesson I should take away from this is to cherish your loved ones while they're still around.
I haven't taken any pictures lately, so I think I'll go out and try to get something good. Thanks for listening.
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I'm terribly sorry but in hearing his story through you and what it meant to you, I have opened eyes. It makes me sad to hear of Tads passing. I do know how you feel though, I've got quite alot of love for animals, and have taken in many stray or harmed ones from all sorts of species. Although my closest comparison would be that of Beta babys, and that is not enough.
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Thank you for the kind thoughts. It's funny you should say "I have opened eyes". Right after I posted this, I started having some problems with my vision. I finally went to a doctor, and she told me I had two detached retinas, and if they didn't operate immediately, I would be permanently blind. This sort of thing is fairly rare, but when I was younger I was an amateur fighter, and all the years of sparring and fighting in the ring finally took it's toll. The same thing happened to one of my heroes Sugar Ray Leonard. Anyway, they sewed the back of my eyes back together, and I've pretty much had to just sit here for the last month while my sight slowly returned. Today I saw the doctor again, and the operations were a complete success. I can see better than ever at about eleven inches, and my glasses should be here in about a week, so I'll be able to watch TV and drive again...yaaay!!! They say you can never really appreciate something until it's gone, now I know it's true. I know this is none of my business, but do you mind if I ask you something? You have obvious artistic talent, why did you stop posting new photographs?
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I'm realy glad that things went well for you, even though it started out badly. I am extremely nearsighted, sitting at 7.25 and 7.50 with a miniscule stigmatism that didnt show up till this passed year, I would give anything to see proplerly without having glasses. And as for your question, I don't have a complete answer... I try, but I've begun to see no 'light' in my art. I've gotten tired of praise from family, suggesting that I put it to use, sell out my ideas for someone else, do murals on walls and do callandars. Even say I should go to artschool, but I had enough truble in highschool art classes being told how to do things the 'proper' way. I've stoped writing, stoped painting, sketching, taking photographs and baking even. And yet I cant fully say why because I don't know.I feel sad.
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Oh Brianna, I wish I could give you a hug. Yeah, having to wear glasses is probably gonna be a pain. But trust me, it beats the hell out of not seeing anything at all. And believe it or not, on you it really works, you know that whole sexy librarian thing. Though I would wager most women with purple hair are more free spirited than your typical librarian.
I know what you mean about school. I was always that daydreamer kid looking out the window, wishing I could be anywhere but there. I have an extremely short attention span, what the "authorities" now refer to as attention deficit disorder. Later in life I came to realize there was nothing wrong with me, they were just trying to force feed me stuff I would never really have any use for. And besides, for the last few million years, kids have spent their days running, and playing, and climbing trees, like they were supposed to. Not sitting in a chair for eight hours a day, year after year after year, being little robotic fact regurgitaters. No wonder the thought of more school seems depressing, because, it is.
And that's the beauty of being an artist. Art is about what's inside of you, not some textbook. Your art doesn't have to be, no shouldn't be, like anyone else's. We live in the age of the internet. Everything we need to know is right there. Schools are fast becoming obsolete. From your profile I'm guessing you're somewhere around nineteen? You have your whole life ahead of you, to find your own way to express yourself. There is no time limit. No expiration date.
One more thing. Minnesota winters are fucking brutal. I think it's normal to feel a little down when you get blasted by all this cold and snow. I know I do.
I hope this helps you feel a little better. Maybe you should start with something small, like something for your Christmas tree. And many years from now, when you take it out, you'll remember way back in O' 13, that was when it all turned around, and everything started to make a little bit more sense. Happy Holidays!
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There's always somebody out there trying to categorize, it gives people the illusion that they have control over someone else. I know what "ADD," is like, my brothers were slaped with that label too. and yes I believe that seeing with or without glasses, is far better than not seeing at all, I am sorry that you had to go through that. The Winter's in Minnesota suck, it's cold and already we've gotten about a foot and a half of snow, although it's beautiful in its own way. I seem to forget every year how's the cold can affect people and their mindset me personally I miss the Sun the most.
Sometimes I wish that my art was like an open window so people could see what was inside my brain without me even having to lift a finger. When I think about it, doing so would take away the fun in being an artist, like getting paint on your fingers, pencil on the underside of your pinky, or feeling frustration when you can get a good angle in a photograph. Your kind words have not only made me smile for the first time today, but let me re-think about alot of things. and I believe you might be right about a Christmas tree ornament, and although that is not the term that you used it was the first thing that came to my mind. I don't know how Id do it, but I can only hope that it will not only be beautiful but forever inspire myself qnd others to create. Warm nights and happy holidays to you too. Thank you so much for your kind words.
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In the coming year, may you find beauty and inspiration in all you do.
Look, my wish came true! Merry Christmas Brianna.
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Human race is lost on itself, your welcome on the help, and thank you for your kind words. Sorry my reply is delayed, I will however be going to your page to see if you got any pictures of Tad up
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Yeah, Way wrote the story and Gabriel Bah did the cool art work. I found him looking for a Halloween super hero who looked like me, then I found most of the comic books on-line. Cool story about alien kids dropped off on earth. His "father" referred to each of them by a number. Kraken was .02, his "sister" Rumor, was .03, and she had purple hair. The whole story is very dark, and Bah's landscapes and art work are awesome and unique for it's time. It all sort of fit, cause I always felt a little bit like someone from another planet, I don't always understand the human race.
Anyway, I'm going to try for a better portrait of Tad. I'll post it when I get back into town. Thanks for the photo advice. You have the talent to express your emotions with a camera, not all that easy to do.
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Umbrella Academy, isnt that Gerard Ways comic with Dark Horse? Ive never been able to get my hands on any of his comics. But im a big fan of his artwork. I have to agree on the lightbulb, a clear plastic wall of some sort between him and that may be a good idea im just not sure how you would acheive that. with a Lizard any noises get him intrested enough to stop. I suppose at the verry least you could get some cool action shots
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Yeah, that first part is just something I ask girls with purple hair. I think putting him on a wet towel is a good idea. He doesn't seem to like having his picture taken, and usually moves just when I click. The bare bulb might be dangerous though, due to his Superman-like leaping abilities.
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Sorry, that's an obscure Umbrella Academy reference. I meant to click on your incredible dragon picture, but somehow I messed up. Ive been trying to get a clear picture of my rescue frog, Tad. I found him in a bait shop. How did you get the background so black?
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I'm sorry, I have been away for a while. I am unsure of what your talking about, but if ita about my Beardie Bruno, I just placed him on a sheet that I taped to the wall and floor and used a lamp for light without its head. Though I think this meathod might be dangerous for your frog due to the cloth being dry. You could quite possibly use a wwt one. I used no programs to fix or edit my photos.
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