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MemoryFinder — The Observer
Published: 2006-10-21 06:18:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 511; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 9
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Description From a corner of the world, I sit. I watch. You. Them. Walk. Talk. “SURPRISE!” she screams across the hallway to her friend, instead surprising me, eating my cheese-its between classes.  It’s a fantastic world in San Francisco in October. Cell Phone Huggers.  We can’t afford mass transportation, or food, just talking on $300 cell phones.  Bobby says they’re the end of social interaction as he puts on his Ipod headphones and skateboards away. [In high school I learned to sleep with my eyes open, so why isn’t it enough in college just to show up?] Her shirt has music notes covering it like that girl with bars from “Konstantine” I see at concerts has tattooed on her wrists. I find that when I finally get brave enough to ask questions I’m just met with answers that result in more questions I’m not brave enough yet to ask.  She says she always thought God was just something we made up to blame our mistakes on. My personal view seems much more optimistic.  He lights up under a no smoking sign, puffing smoke from his lungs to fill the air around him. He watches me from outside watching him from inside. Watching me watching him watching me…
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Comments: 11

FuelForAirplanes [2008-07-14 18:36:08 +0000 UTC]

This reminds me of Jon McGregor a little (he wrote the absolutely fantastic book "if nobody speaks of remarkable things")

Gorgeous.

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FallThruStardust [2006-10-23 07:50:38 +0000 UTC]

Omg this is FANTASTIC! Genius and very well written. Me loves, me !!

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MemoryFinder In reply to FallThruStardust [2006-10-23 16:12:15 +0000 UTC]

uhm wow unexpected lol. thank you.

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rwirtz [2006-10-22 11:40:45 +0000 UTC]

I agree with ~azumis , it sounds like narration to a movie in the same vein as American Beauty, slightly cynical, but very true.

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MemoryFinder In reply to rwirtz [2006-10-22 20:00:37 +0000 UTC]

I cut alot of it actually, where it sounded INCREDIBLY cyncial... lol i didn't want it to come across quite so bitter. thanks for the comment

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rwirtz In reply to MemoryFinder [2006-10-22 20:07:37 +0000 UTC]

There's nothing wrong with being cynical, it's more real than anything else, actually (or that may just be the European in me ).

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tappergurl [2006-10-21 15:35:36 +0000 UTC]

Love it!

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EveryDeadPetalFalls [2006-10-21 07:13:11 +0000 UTC]

I really like this. It's something I can relate to. Well, the randomization of thoughts in this poem is what I can relate to. I like the way this is all meshed together, with different people, different thoughts, different observations. It has a nice flow already, but you could probably add a few words here or there to make it flow just a little bit better. But, the point is, nice job. : )

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MemoryFinder In reply to EveryDeadPetalFalls [2006-10-21 07:17:40 +0000 UTC]

thank you. yeah i know the flow totally needs work... which im sure my workshop will provide. thanks!

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EveryDeadPetalFalls In reply to MemoryFinder [2006-10-21 07:23:44 +0000 UTC]

you're 100% welcome. : P hehe.

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azumis [2006-10-21 06:38:28 +0000 UTC]

I love it, it reminds me of a narrartor speaking in a movie. It's awesome.

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