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Can read a more emotional bit here-: A love that saved meI wanna preface this by saying.. you don't need a significant other to feel whole. Sometimes, for a lot of people though, they do. Humans need and crave affection; be it family or friendships. Isolation is not an ideal, but it was something I lived with for a good chunk of my life. Love from another is something that helped save me, I believe..⚠ ⚠ ⚠ Content Warning for Sensitive Topics and Suicide Mention. It doesn't go into detail. Just briefs. I grew up in Florida, I was a very lonely person who preferred to stay home than go out with friends. Occasionally I wanted to hang out with people, go shopping, feel some sort of alive. The desire to go out and shop increased once I had a full time job. Working at a gas station was emotionally and physically draining and damaging. I'm bipolar, I was on and off medications to handle me. Eventually I quit cold turkey on my meds. My family situation was toxic.So fucking toxic. I'll spare the details on that; the situation left me suicidal. I didn't care for my well being whatsoever. I became pre-diabetic (and still am) and didn't care for my overall health. Big YOLO. Living just to live and dying in the process. I focused solely on my art and comics. I was in a few relationships as well (all long distance) and the feelings I felt for these people came and went.. My ex didn't have the balls to break up with me, he was intentionally distant and over me. I was holding out for something out of it. Pissed off and heartbroken I had to say goodbye. I was also in a relationship with a person who ghosted me and blamed their own mental illness for the shit that went with that. Like fine, it is what it is. I'm over that. Promise. (It's funny to think about, but also weird that.. it happened.) This person though was giving me the loving I so desperately craved from another.. Came and went! Anyway..During all this I had gotten closer to (WHOM YOU ALL KNOW HAHA) Isaac. We had known each other since.. 2010? 2011? When my heartbreak with the one person happened, Isaac was by my side. With the drama between someone I had looked up and admired happened, Isaac was also there. Mutually ranting back and forth over snapchat about the bullshit. He was there during the buildup of me finally breaking it off with the last one. I gotta be honest. While my ex was pushing me away Isaac was pulling me in. It was meant to be a loving friendship between us but my heart was GUSHING over Isaac. I'm like FUCK I've got this crush on him.. he's cute.. we get along.. I.. I tell him I have a crush on him, sobbing my dick off. I feared I was gonna tarnish a friendship with my silly little feelings. Funny now considering.. Isaac has been such an incredible support in my life. As I said, you have to take care of yourself, love yourself, get your shit together. With my mental health being as poor as it was I didn't care.. Until I felt the love from him. The genuine unconditional love and concern. FOR ME?? WHAT?? FOR MEEEEE???The last relationship my weight was brought up a few times. This was a topic that happened a lot in my family as it was. I didn't really care. I was fat, dying, and just vibing. I feel with Isaac my eyes truly opened. I felt more of a purpose with my life. I had to be there for someone who was there for me. I'm still heavily invested in my art, my comic, my OCs. They're the light of my world. I'll never not love my OCs; I can say they've been my coping mechanism. I still want to pursue with my comic, I have a story to tell!! My drive in life has changed so fucking much. I want to pursue with art and live happily with someone who supports everything I do and wants to see me better. 2021 is definitely a year for more health changes. 2018 I was starting to get more involved in my health but low-key not giving too much of a fuck. I've lost almost 30 pounds, my blood sugars a little lower, my blood pressure is very normal now, my eyes have new glasses (LOL), I'm getting much needed dental work (with almost 2 grand in debt at the moment haha), and my mental state..I'm seeing things much.. much.. gosh, what's a word I can use. I suck at using words. MUCH BRIGHTER, MUCH BETTER, MANY GOOD, SUCH GREAT. Like really, my viewpoint of life.. I've been through the abuse, the neglect, the traumas.. Never coping properly..I still have my nights where I'm just.. depressed, as that's the bipolar.. BACK TO THE POINT!!!-: Isaac had been a shoulder to cry on for years living in Florida. My ass did NOT hesitate to purchase a ticket to move to where I am now. I didn't hesitate to buy his flight to Florida to see if we were truly meant to be... how well we get along.. the laughter, the tears, the deep conversations. I'm shook. When he left for home.. I felt my heart break. There was genuine pain of missing him. We couldn't get the flight for September.. instead I went in August!! I flew to him, met his family.. his family loves me by the way..!!!! And my heart broke again when I flew back to Florida, in wait of December..Then the depression hit again for the both of us.I bought a ticket for October, just two months before my final flight to my new home.I saw our new home! Our little apartment with an aggressive toilet and a sink that drips. I was home, for just 5 days.. December was chaotic. Moving. Not even a second thought, I had made my decision when I bought the tickets for Callie and I to go. No regrets, no looking back!!! I knew I would dearly miss my friends, and we keep in touch over messages.. For sure. Sending things through the mail like pen pals.. Seriously, my friend Sarah sent me artworks!! I need them framed still.. ANYWAY..Isaac has filled my heart up to the brim. I'm so much happier. I don't think I've felt.. so full of love before. I've had love for others, reciprocated.. I've been validated, supported, hugged and squeezed.. My minds clearer, my body's healthier.. He's truly saved me. I'm forever grateful and blessed to know him.And now we're getting married. 2022. Thank you, Isaac.For showing me such a beautiful love.For helping me through the shit times. For showing me I'm worth something.For supporting me and pushing me to do better.For everything.For keeping my creative drive aliveand for keeping me alive.I love you with ALL MY BEING....

But goooooooooooosh..

Happy 2 years, baby! I love you so much!

I'm yours forever.

Basically LOL

Group voice calls, snapchat rants, heartbreak and more conversations all came down to this.. I really downloaded a boyfriend.

We're to be wed October (29th?!) 2022.

Description

Can read a more emotional bit here-: A love that saved meI wanna preface this by saying.. you don't need a significant other to feel whole. Sometimes, for a lot of people though, they do. Humans need and crave affection; be it family or friendships. Isolation is not an ideal, but it was something I lived with for a good chunk of my life. Love from another is something that helped save me, I believe..⚠ ⚠ ⚠ Content Warning for Sensitive Topics and Suicide Mention. It doesn't go into detail. Just briefs. I grew up in Florida, I was a very lonely person who preferred to stay home than go out with friends. Occasionally I wanted to hang out with people, go shopping, feel some sort of alive. The desire to go out and shop increased once I had a full time job. Working at a gas station was emotionally and physically draining and damaging. I'm bipolar, I was on and off medications to handle me. Eventually I quit cold turkey on my meds. My family situation was toxic.So fucking toxic. I'll spare the details on that; the situation left me suicidal. I didn't care for my well being whatsoever. I became pre-diabetic (and still am) and didn't care for my overall health. Big YOLO. Living just to live and dying in the process. I focused solely on my art and comics. I was in a few relationships as well (all long distance) and the feelings I felt for these people came and went.. My ex didn't have the balls to break up with me, he was intentionally distant and over me. I was holding out for something out of it. Pissed off and heartbroken I had to say goodbye. I was also in a relationship with a person who ghosted me and blamed their own mental illness for the shit that went with that. Like fine, it is what it is. I'm over that. Promise. (It's funny to think about, but also weird that.. it happened.) This person though was giving me the loving I so desperately craved from another.. Came and went! Anyway..During all this I had gotten closer to (WHOM YOU ALL KNOW HAHA) Isaac. We had known each other since.. 2010? 2011? When my heartbreak with the one person happened, Isaac was by my side. With the drama between someone I had looked up and admired happened, Isaac was also there. Mutually ranting back and forth over snapchat about the bullshit. He was there during the buildup of me finally breaking it off with the last one. I gotta be honest. While my ex was pushing me away Isaac was pulling me in. It was meant to be a loving friendship between us but my heart was GUSHING over Isaac. I'm like FUCK I've got this crush on him.. he's cute.. we get along.. I.. I tell him I have a crush on him, sobbing my dick off. I feared I was gonna tarnish a friendship with my silly little feelings. Funny now considering.. Isaac has been such an incredible support in my life. As I said, you have to take care of yourself, love yourself, get your shit together. With my mental health being as poor as it was I didn't care.. Until I felt the love from him. The genuine unconditional love and concern. FOR ME?? WHAT?? FOR MEEEEE???The last relationship my weight was brought up a few times. This was a topic that happened a lot in my family as it was. I didn't really care. I was fat, dying, and just vibing. I feel with Isaac my eyes truly opened. I felt more of a purpose with my life. I had to be there for someone who was there for me. I'm still heavily invested in my art, my comic, my OCs. They're the light of my world. I'll never not love my OCs; I can say they've been my coping mechanism. I still want to pursue with my comic, I have a story to tell!! My drive in life has changed so fucking much. I want to pursue with art and live happily with someone who supports everything I do and wants to see me better. 2021 is definitely a year for more health changes. 2018 I was starting to get more involved in my health but low-key not giving too much of a fuck. I've lost almost 30 pounds, my blood sugars a little lower, my blood pressure is very normal now, my eyes have new glasses (LOL), I'm getting much needed dental work (with almost 2 grand in debt at the moment haha), and my mental state..I'm seeing things much.. much.. gosh, what's a word I can use. I suck at using words. MUCH BRIGHTER, MUCH BETTER, MANY GOOD, SUCH GREAT. Like really, my viewpoint of life.. I've been through the abuse, the neglect, the traumas.. Never coping properly..I still have my nights where I'm just.. depressed, as that's the bipolar.. BACK TO THE POINT!!!-: Isaac had been a shoulder to cry on for years living in Florida. My ass did NOT hesitate to purchase a ticket to move to where I am now. I didn't hesitate to buy his flight to Florida to see if we were truly meant to be... how well we get along.. the laughter, the tears, the deep conversations. I'm shook. When he left for home.. I felt my heart break. There was genuine pain of missing him. We couldn't get the flight for September.. instead I went in August!! I flew to him, met his family.. his family loves me by the way..!!!! And my heart broke again when I flew back to Florida, in wait of December..Then the depression hit again for the both of us.I bought a ticket for October, just two months before my final flight to my new home.I saw our new home! Our little apartment with an aggressive toilet and a sink that drips. I was home, for just 5 days.. December was chaotic. Moving. Not even a second thought, I had made my decision when I bought the tickets for Callie and I to go. No regrets, no looking back!!! I knew I would dearly miss my friends, and we keep in touch over messages.. For sure. Sending things through the mail like pen pals.. Seriously, my friend Sarah sent me artworks!! I need them framed still.. ANYWAY..Isaac has filled my heart up to the brim. I'm so much happier. I don't think I've felt.. so full of love before. I've had love for others, reciprocated.. I've been validated, supported, hugged and squeezed.. My minds clearer, my body's healthier.. He's truly saved me. I'm forever grateful and blessed to know him.And now we're getting married. 2022. Thank you, Isaac.For showing me such a beautiful love.For helping me through the shit times. For showing me I'm worth something.For supporting me and pushing me to do better.For everything.For keeping my creative drive aliveand for keeping me alive.I love you with ALL MY BEING....

But goooooooooooosh..

Happy 2 years, baby! I love you so much!

I'm yours forever.

Basically LOL

Group voice calls, snapchat rants, heartbreak and more conversations all came down to this.. I really downloaded a boyfriend.

We're to be wed October (29th?!) 2022.