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I watch him from where I sit on the couch. His hands pressed together in front of his mouth, eyes shut. He looks almost peaceful. He finds refuge in his own mind and I wish I could say the same.
I can't help but stare he looks almost angelic, the sun light coming through the window behind him shines at his back and pools around his chair. He looks bright and mysterious. perfect.
Oh, the words I could think of to describe the man...there's an endless list; and even with all those descriptors I'd still feel the need to create new ones.
But there's only one for me: irrelevant
i could tell him I love him a million times, and he'd still wouldn't be anymore interested in me. To him I'm boring, but a necessary part of his crime solving. I'm his outside view. The person that states my opinion on the situation only to have him roll his eyes, insult my intelligence and deduce the crime scene properly.
"You're staring at me, why?" His voice snaps me out of my thoughts.
"I-um...it's nothing."
"You're lying." He narrows his eyes.
"N-no."
He rolls his eyes. "don't stutter, it's not very flattering."
He stands up walking into the kitchen and then down the hall.
He's a man of stone. A robot some may say.
do you know how it feels to crave a body made of steel, to give your all for nothing in return?
He returns wearing his signature coat and scarf.
"You coming?"
"Where?"
"Scotland yard." He says pulling out his phone. "I've figured out the murder, but I feel like it'd be better to explain it in person-besides, I do love hearing that I'm right."
"Sure, I'll come with you."

***
"After I'd figured that out, it was simple really. He'd gotten back in the car and drove into the wall on purpose. Killing himself and trying to destroy the evidence." Sherlock explains.
Greg nods. "Alright seems sound to me."
I didn't help him at all on this case, nor have I been asked to help on any cases recently. Everyday I realize more and more that I'm completely useless to the detective and he'd be fine with out me. I went to school to become a detective, I had a great job at Scotland yard once in a life time. I was praised often for my abilities and knack for crime solving, but now I'm only ever overshadowed by Sherlock. And I don't mind. He's brilliant. He deserves the spotlight. he really does. And it just further goes to prove that Sherlock Holmes really doesn't need me.

"(Y/N), lets go." Sherlock calls walking out the door.
"Bye, (Y/N)." Greg smiles.
"Bye, Greg."
***
Back at Baker Street Sherlock flopped down on the couch in his pajamas and house coat reading some science magazine, while I was left to my thoughts again.
"Tea?"
"Why must you ask questions you already know the answer to?" Sherlock responds.
I only sigh pouring him a cup as well.
I make his tea just the way he likes it, because i know exactly how he likes it. I've taken the time to remember that.
My thoughts are consumed by him.
it's ridiculous and I'm still irrelevant.
The worst part of it all is that I still want someone who [has] never wanted me.
And he will never want me. His mind doesn't work like that. He's "deleted" how to feel emotions and denies himself the ability to think of anyone as anything more than a friend, and even getting to that stage takes forever. He disregards love a sentiment as "Chemical defects"
He will never love me. He doesn't even need me.
He separates himself from everything and everyone, except for his work.
While most people build relationships he distances himself.
He's been burning bridges, while I've been building homes.
He wouldn't even care if I walked out the door right now, never to come back.
I'm irrelevant.
I set his tea down on the coffee table.
"Thank-you." He says sitting up.
I pause shocked. "You're welcome Sherlock."
There's silence for a long time before I speak up again.
"I'm going to leave...You really don't need me."
He furrows his brows looking up at at me, thinking.
"I might not need you, but I really don't mind your company...I'd prefer it if you stayed."
"Oh...alright."
Maybe, just maybe I'm more relevant than I thought. Maybe he does need me.

Inspired and losely based off of "Irrelevant by Lauren Aquilina"
Bolded words are lyrics from the song.
listen to it here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Lk_Se…