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MiyaToriaka β FAITH - Prologue page 1
Published: 2009-05-02 23:05:45 +0000 UTC; Views: 115310; Favourites: 1419; Downloads: 361
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Description
"FAITH - An AGMP Story" - a Doujinshi/Comic by =MiyaToriakaFAITH's Betareader: ~NinthTale Status: BETA-READ COMPLETE
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Page 1 of the Prologue of the story
Have Fun!
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Story and Art by (c)=MiyaToriaka
All original Charas of the Story belong to (c) Satoshi Tajiri, PokΓ©mon Nintendo, Game Freak
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Comments: 443
this is intresting start to a comic i have read the next 2 pages but this was intresting about the detail. i have never seen as much detail in a chapter of someone elses comics than the detail here. but one thing in the first pannel it looks like the window is just floating somewhere in nothingess. this is a very intresting comic i think many would like if they read on plus u also did a good job at color and shading and it looks like it really happened because of the really great detail
overall great job.
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-----//--\\----- Nothing is True. Everything is Permitted.
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Hi ^^
Thank you very much for your time and the honest critique. I have to agree, the window looks a little bit weird, also the panels are not in the right order. I tried to make it better in the next pages.
Thank you very much for reading FAITH. ^^
Yours
Miya β₯
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Alright, let me start off by saying that I love your pictures. They are full of so much detail, and they're just so stunning. I'm even more impressed by the fact that it's all traditional art. e.deviantart.com/emoticons/b/b⦠" width="15" height="15" alt="
The one thing that I noticed right away, and kinda confused me a little bit, is the flow between the third and fourth panel. This comic is supposed to read left to right, correct? The third and fourth panels go opposite, right to left. So its a little bit difficult. I know it's difficult to get the panels the sizes that you want, but it may confuse readers a little bit. I know that I had to look twice.
The other thing that I noticed is the first panel. There isn't any background color with it. I don't know if it was supposed to be left white or not, but it kinda makes it seem like Misty's window is just floating in space. So maybe adding in some background color will help with that.
The third thing that I noticed, was the clouds. Clouds aren't bright white at night, not unless there's a bunch of annoying city lights around. Even then not really. Clouds usually blend with the night sky, and you can't really see them unless they're passing by the moon. So maybe try coloring them with similar colors to the sky.
Overall, this is a really amazing deviation. It's not that often you see comics fully colored, especially traditionally. It's really something, and I will enjoy reading it as it comes out. Keep up the amazing work. e.deviantart.com/emoticons/s/s⦠" width="15" height="15" alt="
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WOW O__O Totally WOW! This is a very helpful critique and I'm very thankful you took your time to write this. It really helps me a lot!
OK I try to answer some parts
The Panels: You're right. It was my mistake. Bad one 
The first Panel: Nya I see - in the scann you can't see this correctly. You see, the window itself should be the first panel, but as I see it didn't turned out that well. On the original page you can see that much better.
The Clouds: Ou yeah clouds! I so hate them *sighs* With PC they are so easy and with pencils you only have to make one little mistake and they look totally different, but never as clouds. You're totally right. Actually I wanted them to be with the shooting star, it should've been that light it fulls everything arround it with light. I have to try, practise and learn so mcuh more
Thank you so mcuh fro the critique! as I said it really helped me a lot and I try to make it better next time *o*
Greez
Miya
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Glad to hear you were searching for it.
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No comments still.......... π€Hello darkness my old friend,.......
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Hi Miya I wanna tour permission that adspt this cΓ³mic fic a fanfic ir you can give me apermission and you hace a crΓ©dit.
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Err, I hope I understand right: You want to do a Fanfic to the story?
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Thanks is true me want make a Fic.
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Symbolism. Good artwork. Things. Excitement.
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Thanks a lot
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Ich hab den ganzen Doujinshi in einem Zug gelesen und muss sagen er ist wirklich super schΓΆn ^^
Auch die Zeichnungen gefallen mir sehr gut, ich freue mich auf weitere Arbeiten von dir.
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Wow, dankeschΓΆn, das freut mich wirklich sehr! ;///; β₯
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Hey, i read it ALL 2 times, amazing job. Would you mind if i translate this awesome manga to spanish? I will give you credit indeed :3
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It has already two Spanish versions, but I won't mind if you wanted to translate it yourself.
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Another great start ad awesome work on this my friend ^-^
I like it, legit! ^^
Misty looks cute
NEXT PAGE I GO!
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i just read the entire thing......it was so beautiful!!!!!
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Too cool. Just love the detail here, I'm gonna keep reading this
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ahhh cool. ich kenn das von Animexx
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Das kann ja auch jeder so sehen, wie er will
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What Misty said is the same thing I keep wishing now that the love of my life is graduating and going to Newfoundland for her education..... only her name is Erin-chan
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Great. Good luck with that
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sarcasm...I'm guessing
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Nope, it shouldn't O__Γ΄
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it almost sounded like it, though
one of the many problems of text comments
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