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“Rule two. I can’t make anybody fall in love.”

Winter was a cruel, cruel creature in New York. It was something (Name) learned fairly quickly once she made the transition to living in the Tower with everyone else, namely Tony, Vision and Loki. Thor had come to stay to keep an eye on his brother (because Odin), and Natasha, Clint, Steve, Sam and Wanda were around because, well...holidays.

Due to the weather trapping all the Avengers inside and no one really having a problem with it, a few movies were being binged on Tony’s dangerously massive screens. The movie of choice for round three turned out to be Aladdin, which the honesty-challenged demi-god took a strange liking to.

“I wonder who the fools are who came up with these petty rules for wishes, of all things. Magic can do anything, there are no limitations. Save for those worthless laws people put in place.” Loki mused, sounding a strange mixture between despondent and amused by the movie.

(Name) glanced over at him from her seat, throwing a piece of popcorn. “What are you talking about? These rules have been around since the ideas of genies even existed. Trust me, I would know.” She tapped her forehead, and Tony scoffed.

“Quit pretending to be cool, Time Warp Tina. We all know you can zap to the past. It’s cute. Got it. You can stop rubbing it in.” He said from up front, waving his beer around as he spoke.

“You’re just jealous because you can’t go back in time.” Clint called across the room, a pencil from who knows where twirling around in his fingers.

“Of course I am! How else am I going to be able to take pictures of Cap when he was scrawny and make fun of him?” Tony cried hopelessly.

Steve rolled his eyes, “If it really bothers you that much, you could just go to DC and laugh at the exhibit.”

“But that’s like, five states away. I’ll never make it that far.” He said, dramatically as a drunk Tony could be. Though even then, “drunk” wasn’t something that happened often, after Pepper whipped him into shape following his birthday party not so long ago.

“Guess you’ll never get the satisfaction, then. Though I will admit, I might have taken a little peek back in the past. Sorry, Steve.” You grinned at said Captain, who seemed to blush a touch before chuckling.

“Hope you weren’t too disappointed.”

“I know I am.”

“No one asked you, Stark.”

“Do you all mind? I’m trying to watch this accursed movie.” Loki snapped, bringing them all back to the matter at hand. “The filthy street rat is going to do something else, and I won’t tolerate missing a part because of your incessant bickering.”

“Says the man who argues with his brother every day.” Natasha mused into her cup, earning icy glares from both Thor and Loki and a round of chuckles from the rest of the team. Even Wanda was particularly amused, making (Name) quirk an eyebrow.

“Maybe we should cut the guy some slack. It’s not his fault he feels inferior to his brother in every way.”

“You must have a death wish, you time twisting little-”

“Come, brother. It is alright to admit your shortcomings.” Thor laughed, clapping his poor brother on the shoulder and effectively worsening his already sour mood.

“That doesn’t mean you get to touch me, either!”

“Alright alright, let’s just calm down. I haven’t gotten to see this movie yet, either, and God knows when we’re going to get another break.” Steve finally spoke up, settling down the rest of the team with those amazing leadership skills.

“I could always just tell you how it ends, you know-”

“-Say a word and I’ll take you down in half a second, Stark. Don’t care how much money you got.” Sam threatened, sending the team into a spiral yet again.

It took a little while before everyone finally complied with Loki’s previous request, mostly thanks to your ability to stop the frames of time on certain individuals. Tony and Thor never got to see how Aladdin saved the day, but Loki definitely did.

A little while after a few of the other Avengers fell asleep, two frozen and another out of commission, (Name) and Loki were the last surviving members of the movie squad. She noticed how engrossed he had become towards the end, just as Jasmine faked her love for Jafar in a last-ditch attempt to fool him.

“It doesn’t make any sense. I don’t see why the genie couldn’t just make her fall in love. It was his master’s wish, was it not?” He pointed out, and (Name) shrugged, scraping the bottom of her popcorn bowl in search for some cold popped corn to finish off.

“Probably has something to do with basic human rights, or something.” She replied, licking her fingers, “A concept I highly doubt you’d understand.”

“Whyever would you think that?”

“Forcing someone to love another person with magic? It’s kind of like mind control, y’know? Not really humane, or constitutional, or, like, recommended by any human rights advocates ever. And considering your little adventure with mind controlling individuals, I don’t think you’d have an issue with it.”

“That’s not being fair.” Loki grumbled, “It was one time, and it was for a glorious purpose.”

“Indeed it was. Hence the reason Thor shut you down; you might’ve thought it glorious, but it’s safe to say that was anything but.”

“I disagree, but it is of no matter. Making someone fall in love with you isn’t that difficult, much less is it anything akin to mind control.” He argued with a huff, and (Name) looked over at him.

“How is that not mind control? A snap of the fingers and someone could just up and fall in love with someone else without their consent? No say in the matter at all, and they don’t even realize that it’s happening. That’s definitely not okay.”

“I can think of worse situations.” Loki responded dangerously. She spared him a single glance before shrugging and flicking a kernel at him.

“Whatever, I bet you don’t even know how to make someone fall in love with magic.” (Name) challenging him was a minor mistake she didn’t even realize was made. At least, not until he chuckled darkly.

“I’d wager you’re wrong.” He murmured quietly, so low she couldn’t hear, “And I’ll prove it.”

A kernel hit his nose.

“Will you quit flinging those at me??”

“Probably not.”

~*~*~*~

The next morning was an interesting one, for certain. (Name) woke up to more snow than before, her windows completely iced over. She didn’t mind it, happily cuddle up in her bedding with a drowsy smile on her face as she realized this probably meant another day off.

‘Until Fury says to call us in, I’m not doing a thing, today.’ She thought with a brilliant snicker, feeling as if she got away with something by skipping out on work. So instead of suiting up, she slipped out with the comforter wrapped around her, dragging the blanket along the floor as she stepped out of her bedroom into her suite.

That was when the morning effectively exploded.

“Well good morning, Beautiful.” Tony’s voice came from the far end of the bar counter, and she froze in place. He looked wonderfully disheveled, and would have made a joke about it had she not realized he was shirtless.

“Okay… One, you know how I feel about guys calling me ‘Beautiful’. Only jerks do that, and while you’re kind of a jerk, you’re not that kind of a jerk. Two, where’s your clothing?” She asked him suspiciously, and he shrugged, picking up two mugs of coffee and bringing one to her.

“Well, one, I can’t help it if it’s the truth. And two, I’ve got my pants on. Although I might not if you don’t want me to.” He shot her a wink as he passed her the mug, which she took carefully while maneuvering around the suddenly creepy Tony.

“Oookie doke, this just got weird. You do know you’re in a relationship, right? Megan probably won’t take kindly to you running around lady’s suites trying to get them in bed.”

Tony blinked slowly. “Who’s Megan?”

“...You’re joking.”

“Trust me, I don’t kid. At least, not with you.”

“That wasn’t even a pick-up line.” She narrowed her eyes, staring at him in disbelief. “Seriously, that hangover must’ve done a number on you. I’ll call Meg and let her take care of whatever this is, and-”

“-Oh good, you’re already up.” Steve’s voice floated in from the other side of the room, elevator doors sliding open to reveal said man striding onto your floor. “I was hoping I could talk to you.”

“Were you, now?” (Name) quirked an eyebrow, turning her attention to the Captain who had a rather large grocery bag full of food items. “And that would be because…?”

“I want to.” His response made her confusion explode ten-fold. “Am I not allowed to spend my morning with you?” He questioned after observing her baffled expression. She blinked rapidly, shaking her head in an attempt to regain herself.

“N-no, that’s not the problem. It’s just-- Well, I mean, you don’t spend mornings with me. Normally you’re up and training with Sam, or Clint, or something like that.”

“Why not switch it up a little, then?” He said in a strangely alluring voice that had alarm bells tinkling in the back of her head. That maybe, just maybe, there was something strange afoot.

“Uh...right. I guess that’s not a problem, then…”

“Good. I was planning on making breakfast with you, anyway. As a precaution in case you weren’t up for spending time so early in the day.” He mentioned, revealing a carton of eggs and a various sundry of spices and herbs that would go into a fantastic omelette.

“You got me there; I do like my food.” She grinned, moving to follow him to the stove. Tony caught her via looping an arm around her shoulders, tugging her to his chest.

“Sorry, Cap. She’s already got a date with me, this morning. And three’s a crowd, y’know.”

“Don’t you have a girlfriend already?”

“Nooo…?”

“I think his hangover messed up his ability to recognize people. Maybe he thinks I’m Megan, or something.” She guessed, successfully unwinding herself from Tony’s grasp and taking refuge with Steve.

“Seriously, who’s this Megan chick everybody keeps talking about?” He asked, sounding a touch exasperated. “You’re just making her up so you have an excuse to hog (Name).”

“They’re not making her up, trust me.” Clint’s voice came from overhead, everyone’s heads snapping up to the air vents as said assassin popped the grate off and landed next to Tony easily. “She’s your lady and she’s not gonna be a happy one when she finds out you’re fooling around with (Nickname).”

“Seriously? Again with the air vents? I thought we quit doing that like, four years ago.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, but okay.” Clint shrugged, coming up beside the time warping lady and looping an arm around her waist. “But anyway, she’s not into guys like you, anyway, Stark. You don’t have what she’s looking for.”

“Clint, what the heck-”

“-And just what is she into, exactly?” Steve joined in, cracking two eggs simultaneously into a mixing bowl. She had a feeling that was a euphemism for something (or two Avenging somethings).

“A guy with a little bit more of a...rustic charm. Y’know, with the farmhouse and the handy-man skills, solid abs that aren’t overkill-”

“-A wife, three children, a wife, three children.” (Name) interrupted him, pushing his arm off. “Seriously, what’s wrong with everyone, today? Are you playing a prank on me, or something?”

“Wife?” Clint’s brow furrowed. “Uh, I’m not sure if you recall, but I’m about as bachelor as it gets.”

“Check again, punk; the name’s Laura, Lila and Cooper ring any bells? Nathaniel Pietro Barton??” Tony joined in, stepping towards you both and bringing his arm around you yet again. “She’s not that loose to get involved with a married man. Right, babydoll?”

“Just as right as not getting involved with a guy with a girlfriend!” She wriggled to get out of his grasp, which he attempted to laugh off and made a comment about his own “washboard abs”. She wasn’t safe until Steve had enough, setting the eggs aside and carefully removing her from Tony.

“Enough’s enough, you two. She’s not interested, even if you choose to ignore your apparent...personal problems. If you’re really having a tough time with your relationship’s go talk it out, but leave (Name) out of it.” Steve defended her seriously, which she was very thankful for.

Although she couldn’t help but notice his hand had yet to leave her shoulder. “Thanks, Steve. ...You can let me go, now.”

“Not with these two around.” He declined your suggestion with a shake of his head, looking surprisingly serious despite the north in his tone. “Now let's finish making food. I'll bet you're starving by now.”

“I won't deny, I'm feeling a hungry. Probably because these two are stressing me out.” She laughed nervously, running a hand through messy hair. Steve smiled at her sweetly, his fingers slipping through her hair and effectively killing whatever was left of her heart.

“Don't worry, I'll make sure they leave you alone for the rest of the day.”

“T-thanks.” She mumbled, thinking perhaps he should give her a little space, too. “I'm pretty sure you need to hands for making omelettes, though, so...maybe you should stop touching my hair.”

“Indeed he should!” Thor’s mighty bellow burst across the floor, and everyone swiveled to see the man literally breaking in through the window, Vision coming not too far behind him with Wanda floating up behind him.

The world had officially gone mad.

“Why are you coming in through the window?!” She exclaimed, watching helplessly as nearly the entire team of Avengers congregate in her living area.

“I needed to come and speak with you, Lady (Name). It is a matter of utmost importance.” He said none to subtly, coming up to her and grasping her arm beneath the comforter fabric. She squeaked in surprise, suddenly pulled towards the towering man who had a massive grin on his lips.

“W-what do you want, now?”

“I wanted to ask if you were willing to join me in returning to Asgard.”

“...Wait a second. You mean Asgard Asgard??” She asked incredulously, eyes about to pop out of her head from being so wide. “B-but what about Jane??”

“Jane…? I am afraid I do not know anyone named Jane.”

“And here we go.”

“I wanted to bring you back with me, to take you as my wife as we rule the kingdom together. Surely you would like to do such a thing, yes?”

“Surely not-”

“-Definitely not.” Sam was the interferer this time, taking her hand from underneath the comforter and tugging her towards him. “She’s got a date with me.”

“I do?”

“She does?”

“Yeah. Just decided she did right now.” He responded, looking enthusiastic as he prepared to take her away. Steve stepped in yet again, followed by Tony and Clint flanking his sides. “Is there a reason why Stark’s not wearing a shirt?”

“Uh, yeah. Because I’m supposed to be taking (Name) away. I was here first, losers-”

“-You also got in a relationship before everybody else, Mr. 2008. You don’t have any room to talk.”

“Neither do you, Clint!” (Name) piped up, wrenching away from all of them, “You’re married!! And you’re with someone,” She pointed to Tony, then to Thor, “And you’re with someone, too, and I’m pretty sure you’ve sworn off relationships as a whole,” Steve looked down, “And isn’t there some receptionist you’ve got a crush on?”

“No idea. Probably not.” Sam shrugged, and she resisted the urge to slap her forehead. “It doesn’t matter, though, right?”

“It kind of does! I’m not trying to get in a relationship with any of you, no matter how hot you think you are! Will you just leave me alone, already?”

“I am afraid they will not resist any time soon, Ms. (Name).” Vision said in a calm manner, coming in front of her to act as a shield. “I believe they have fallen under some kind of hypnotic trance. Perhaps someone has taken control of their minds.”

“To make them think they love me?” She deadpanned with a glare fixed on every single man, each of whom seemed oblivious to the very notion. “How would that even happen?”

“It is technique similar to my powers, but vith different kind of magic.” Wanda explained next, coming up to her with a grimace. “Someone is trying to play mind games vith veak minds of Avenger men. It makes me vonder vhy I joined zhis team, sometimes.”

“...Huh. I wonder who would’ve done something like-” (Name) cut herself off as she watched them all bicker amongst themselves, Wanda and Vision being the only point of sanity in the army of squabbling men. Staring at the group, she realized there was one very particular person missing from the meeting.

“Where’s Loki?” She demanded, everyone falling silent at her question. She searched their faces for an answer, each of them more oblivious than the last. “Anyone?”

“No idea, not that it matters.” Tony waved a dismissive hand away, “He’s not that important, right? Nowhere near as hot as any of us, anyway. Especially not-”

“-If you say ‘you’ I’m going to punch you.”

“Yes ma’am.”

(Name) rubbed her temples with a sigh, trying her best to keep her temper under control. Of course that demi-god would have something to do with this. “Any idea what he might be doing at this very moment? Like where he’s probably hiding while casting some weird spell?”

“Funny you should ask.”

A voice came out of nowhere behind her, a pair of familiar arms wrapping around her waist and effectively freaking out the entire team. She didn’t have a second to react before she suddenly disappeared, falling back into a portal and vanishing without a trace.

“...Did (Name) just disappear?”

“I believe so, yes.”

“Should we call somebody?”

“We’re the Avengers. Pretty sure we’re the people you’re supposed to call in this kind of situation.”

“In that case, Avengers Assemble; Loki just stole my girl.”

”Your girl? She never even liked you like that!”

“Who says she never liked me? She’s totally into this-”

Whatever plans the Avengers had to avenge their friend, and apparent love interest, were dashed as they all broke into a massive fight over who (Name) liked most. Wanda and Vision...kind of just enjoyed the show.

But (Name) had other issues to deal with.

“What did you do?!” She demanded the second they reappeared on his floor, whipping around and grabbing his collar. The demi-god held his hands up, looking surprisingly cool despite the nervous glint in his eye.

“Now, now, it’s nothing to get worked up over.”

“The Avengers are falling all over me and half of them are already in committed relationships. Tony freaking came onto my floor without a shirt on!! You think that’s nothing to get worked up over? I’m kind of freaking out!”

“I can tell.”

“Loki.”

“Honestly, it’s not that serious of a situation.” He attempted to assure her, removing her hands from his clothes and pushing her away. “It’s a simple case of a spell...well, gone wrong.”

“Gone wrong?”

“Yes. Simple as that.” Loki replied with an impish smile, gesturing to the book of magic settled on the couch innocently enough, though it warranted a deadly glare from the woman of whom it caused a thousand problems.

“And you thought this was a good idea…why?” She asked him next, practically radiating with anger. Loki took an instinctive step back.

“Because I was proving a point.” He replied, quick to add when she directed her glare at him, “You said I couldn’t do it, and much to your surprise, I did. Or at least, I meant to. Somehow the spell went wrong and it deflected...onto just about everyone else in the Tower.”

“Everyone??” Her jaw went slack. “How do you even mess up a spell like that in the first place?!”

“I am unsure. Perhaps I wrote one of the runes wrong.”

“How do we fix it?! I mean, you can fix this, right?”

“...Yes.”

“You hesitated.”

“That’s not because I can’t reverse it.” Loki said in a hushed voice, taking your hand very slowly. It wasn’t in a romantic way, however; he seemed genuinely concerned about something. His eyes grew narrow as he looked around, eyes locking on the ceiling. “...Romanoff is watching.”

“She’s watching us? But why??”

“I did say everyone fell in love with you, right?” He checked, “That means everyone everyone; men and women included.”

“Well that’s inconvenient.”

“Particularly because that she-devil is one of them. Now I suggest we run-” He was cut off by the ceiling popping open, said assassin quirking her head to the side with an increasingly devilish look in her eye.

“-I was wondering where you went, (Name). I was planning on talking to you about-”

“-NOW!!!” She shrieked, bursting out of the room before Nat got a word in sideways.

“(Name), wait-” Loki attempted to follow, but was caught by the woman with an increasingly interested stare.

“And what were you doing with (Name), hm?”

“Gods-- (NAME), YOU COWARD, SHE CAUGHT ME!!”

“YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN!”

“WHAT?!”

“SHE WILL TAKE ME DOWN IF I DON’T STOP!!”

“So she wants to play a game, then? I don’t mind a little chase, in fact I’ll make sure she enjoys it.”

“Will you unhand me- (NAME), GET BACK HERE AND HELP ME, CRAVEN!”

“IT’S YOUR FAULT THIS IS HAPPENING, YOU FIX IT!!”

Loki was then abandoned to the deadly hands of a lovestruck Black Widow, while (Name) attempted to free herself from the team of men and apparently women chasing after her as well. Loki was no longer allowed to prove his point anymore, afterwards.

…

……

………

…………

……………

“Oh God, oh God oh God oh God. I think I got away… Freaking Loki trying to screw me over-”

“-There you are, (Name)! We were just about to have a contest to see who has the abs you like best. We need you go come judge it, although I’m pretty sure I’ll win-”

“-Tony?! How’d you find me?”

“One word: FRIDAY. Now come on; Happy’s joining the contest, too. I think Pepper said something about joining in it but I’m not sure--”

“NoooOOOOOOOO!! LOKI, WHY?!”

In the distance, Loki lay sprawled across the floor, death by failing Natasha’s investigation. In his final breath, he managed a bloody smile, whispering,

“I...was...right......”

He was later beat up by the Avengers when discovered to be breathing afterwards.

~Ende~