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monkeybug In reply to Pen-and-Sword [2005-12-16 17:15:08 +0000 UTC]

Dang girl gets around.

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Pen-and-Sword In reply to monkeybug [2005-12-26 07:25:42 +0000 UTC]

Ugh. Seriously.

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monkeybug In reply to Pen-and-Sword [2005-12-28 19:19:51 +0000 UTC]

I know! Like, I try to keep her home, but she up and chewed through the last leash I bought. Teeth like razors, I tell ya. And feisty, too.

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Pen-and-Sword In reply to monkeybug [2006-01-09 06:02:58 +0000 UTC]

Ugh. Isn't that always the way? I had to go out and buy a muzzle and some greaves just to be able to leave mine at home unattended while I'm at school! And let me tell you, the silver they use to make those shackles doesn't come cheap! Apparently the Vatican is raising tariffs on the export of sactified artifacts for demonkeeping. I guess they have enough bloodsuckers of their own to contend with, so they want to discourage the selling of property with antidemonic properties. Still, it's a bitch having to sneak holy water out of the local church in my mouth every week. Burns the roof of my mouth, you know?

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monkeybug In reply to Pen-and-Sword [2006-01-09 21:45:03 +0000 UTC]

Now, using your mouth is so much easier than what I was doing. I kept pimping myself as "World's Best Babysitter" and getting all of these kids for a few hours. Then I'd Momify myself and take them one-by-one to the local church and have them baptised. And when no one was looking, I'd fill up baby bottles with the water from the little bath. It was not only exhausting, I was running out of fresh kids. And their parents always asked so many questions when I handed them back their damp children.

Romantic aura aside, if I'd known one would be this much upkeep, I'd have never gotten one as a pet. I'll just stick to demonic gerbils and slightly-mad parakeets from now on.

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Pen-and-Sword In reply to monkeybug [2006-01-21 06:36:05 +0000 UTC]

"Demonic gerbils and slightly-mad parakeets?" Isn't that a redundancy? I mean, what other kind of parakeet (or parakeet owner) is there?

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monkeybug In reply to Pen-and-Sword [2006-01-22 02:51:48 +0000 UTC]

Okay, you have me there. I had a parakeet named Tweeter when I was younger, and he was the most psychotic, sadistic bastard ever. He took pleasure in looking cute and chirping sweetly right until you tried to pet him. And then he was all over you like a fat woman on a hotdog in June. Crazy damn bird.

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Pen-and-Sword In reply to monkeybug [2006-02-16 03:36:07 +0000 UTC]

My cat Bubs does something similar. He'll sit on top of his sister and start licking her ear affectionately. Then, once he's earned her trust, he chomps down on it. I love my cats. They're every bit as sadistic as I am.

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monkeybug In reply to Pen-and-Sword [2006-02-16 22:35:05 +0000 UTC]

Hehe, I love it. That is how I live life. "Hey, love, love, love, nice, love, love, BITE!"

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Pen-and-Sword In reply to monkeybug [2006-02-18 08:20:36 +0000 UTC]

Not a bad creed. It would look good engraved upon a plaque hanging in the dormitory of an English all-boys' boarding school, no? Perhaps if it were written in Latin...

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monkeybug In reply to Pen-and-Sword [2006-02-20 04:02:51 +0000 UTC]

Oooh, definitely in Latin. It's so much more formal, but so much more outstanding sounding, don't you think? And I want it engraved in a bronze plaque and hung on some truly horrid wall paper featuring hunting hounds and maroon plaid.

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