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Published: 2012-08-21 22:20:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 571; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 3
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Description
I had to get away - out of the stink of the city, away from the constant dirty fug and the filthy streets. The stench of humanity was overbearing, drowning, sickening, it--I had to get away.
It took a long time to figure out how. The trains were over-priced and run with military brutality. The city was too vast to simply walk beyond the range of its pestilence. I knew, I'd tried. Horses stank. These new cars were loud and obnoxious, the many boats which clogged the reeking river were too full of people.
But I eventually realized that air was to be my salvation, air was to be my escape. I took to creeping across the streets by night, filching sheets from washing lines and even the occasional bed. Only clean sheets would do, of course - I wasn't about to try and escape on a cloud of lice.
It didn't take as long as you'd think: after just three nights I'd scavanged two dozen sheets. Burning the midnight oil and desperate to be gone, I stiched them together into a patchwork, the tapestry which would document my escape.
Preparing the basket was easy, finding enough food to last me a few days trifling. The challenge - the real test of my mettle - was the air. Ironically, I would need to channel the very stench from which I sought to escape. It took many nights of crafting to produce the vacuum I needed, and to learn how best to direct the air as I desired.
And so, on the eighth night, I filled my hand-stiched balloon full of the stink of the city, and I sailed the skies in search of the freedom I craved.
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Comments: 20
Shyanne-Kai [2012-08-28 16:26:19 +0000 UTC]
I really like this. Had a dystopian feel to it that was also somehow Victorian. I loved the end, it filled my head with the fantastical adventure he is going to journey on
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monstroooo In reply to Shyanne-Kai [2012-08-29 11:35:44 +0000 UTC]
I wrote this with a Victorian feel in mind, so I'm really glad that came across
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az-marianak [2012-08-27 23:57:18 +0000 UTC]
whoa this was actually an interesting and intriguing narrative it was alot different then what i had initially thought it'd be about lol IT WAS BETTER!!!!
i love how you made it, seriously when i read the title "Balloon" - i though ahhh no.... , it might be about a persons mentality over how their phsicality looks in a mirror but nope ! i loved your narrative !!! it was -no it is -freaking beautiful( in a strange sense; that might just be me but still ;D )~ great job <3
it was so different lol
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
monstroooo In reply to az-marianak [2012-08-28 06:58:45 +0000 UTC]
Thank you for the wonderful comment and fave
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az-marianak In reply to monstroooo [2012-08-28 22:58:14 +0000 UTC]
teheheh your very welcome <3 ^_^ *curtsy's*
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kiwi2191 [2012-08-27 10:31:50 +0000 UTC]
Haha.
Love the way the protagonist seems to say that fine I'll get away. But it better be on my terms b**tch!!
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0hgravity [2012-08-23 00:20:07 +0000 UTC]
I really liked the intro and I did enjoy the narrative very much.
And hey, the plot ain't bad
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RiFlight [2012-08-22 17:48:19 +0000 UTC]
This reminds me of a short story I wrote about a year ago. I don't think I ever posted it here. As TheMoorMaiden said, it does have a movie kinda feel to it. I was thinking more like the Wizard of OZ though,
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
monstroooo In reply to RiFlight [2012-08-23 07:33:21 +0000 UTC]
Thanks for reading, man! You should dig that piece out and post it
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RiFlight In reply to monstroooo [2012-08-23 20:00:32 +0000 UTC]
I guess I will, but it's just a weird short story. Nothing more, nothing less and skewed toward dark as usual.
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RiFlight In reply to monstroooo [2012-08-24 22:04:17 +0000 UTC]
I'm cleaning it up right now. I'll post it in a few days just for you!
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RiFlight In reply to monstroooo [2012-08-25 23:05:13 +0000 UTC]
^^ I love that little woohoo guy, LOL!
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TheMoorMaiden [2012-08-21 23:30:21 +0000 UTC]
You should like the narrative, there's something very endearing about it. It was a real pleasure to read, because it just felt so... nice, even though it concerns escapism. Maybe that's what made it so nice to read; everybody wants to escape sometimes and it was great to see your protagonist quite literally take flight at the end. It reminded me a lot of Up.
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monstroooo In reply to TheMoorMaiden [2012-08-22 06:19:47 +0000 UTC]
Thank you!
Yeah, I guess it does have something of Up about it (what a wonderful, beautiful, silly film!). Perhaps it's a Victorian alternative
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