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monstroooo — Solar
Published: 2012-06-29 09:47:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 450; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 7
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Description
Wait for it...Wait...
Any...
Moment...
NOW!
Kabian kicked off the cell sheild as the solar flare erupted. Polarised light burst from the Sun in a wave of energy - almost as pure as it got. He felt his pod buckle as the first tentative wave of photons collided with the solar sails; felt the surge of electrical energy as his photo-cell capacitors stored up a few extra coulombs of charge.
And then the wave hit: the small craft burst into life and propelled itself through empty space. Light struck the solar sails and was instantly converted into forward motion, ions streaming from the array of exhausts on the back of the craft. To his right, Bella had timed her launch badly and slowly inched forward, taking on too little energy to get any meaningful acceleration. Nexlar was right with him on the left, though: he'd had a fine launch.
The three pods streamed across the void, accelerating rapidly under the solar wind. The ships were minimally powered, low-tech drag racers designed for short sprints through space. Life support would last a couple of hours; the sensors were strictly short range, and there was absolutely no automated control of the vessel. It was just Kabian, two inches of re-inforced glass, and the sacred silence of space.
So when a rice-sized grain of sand or rock or whatever the hell it was tore through Nexlar's pod, there was nothing any of them could do. Kabian couldn't even slow down or turn around to help. All he could do was stare dumbly ahead and watch as Nexlar spun violently out of control over his left shoulder; tumbling gracelessly into the Godless dark.
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Comments: 31
That dark is ending is great (though what God is out there to refer to? Kabian's?) and the world-building a bloody miracle of wit and no-holds-barred fast description. (<-excuse my Klatchian there, please.) Nothing is sparse about the propellants, sails, drag-races, people or story. (You can edit after a write-off is over, right?) You did a good job. Thank you.
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Thank you 
Yep, edits are welcome after the Write Off! I just wanted to upload mine quite raw. I think they're better publicity for the game that way
I hope we'll be seeing you on Saturday?
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i reminded our founder [and now you] my 'puter won't let me in ANY chatroom.
isn't that what you mean? argh.
i told sleyf i'd get a new one someday, and she hoped i'd enjoy the 'new computer' smell. hahahahaha
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You're not silly, and I have the following overly-long question:
What do you think?
I put "Professional Writer" on my comments on-and-off like a lightbulb.
I put a new "Quote" under my I.D. pic that says "Professional writers are paid to write and don't pay others to print it." -LJ ...I've been frustrated by the number of self-published writers here who put that on and keep it on, followed in a sig line by "Please buy my book" and a link to a self-published book. They're often Very hard to sell, have no editor, agent (etc) but all these (some good) writers do that.
SO: Does it look tacky now, or what? I mean, I haven't been paid to write a thing for the past year, but I've never had stuff in print I paid someone else to put there. What should I do?
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Overly long answer:
I understand your frustration!
I'd interpret "professional writer" to mean "one who lives off their writing" (or at least, "has lived"), as opposed to either "someone who has made money from writing" or "someone who has been published".
I used to wash my parent's cars as a kid, but I'd never have called myself a professional!
I'd apply that same meaning and attitude to others. If someone calls themselves a professional writer, that's fine by me. Doesn't mean to say I'd believe them - indeed, if they are merely digitally self-published writers, then I'd think them FAR from professional. I'd struggle to take such a person seriously. That's their problem for mis-promoting themselves and making themselves look foolish.
Sure, that's annoying 
Meanwhile, and to really answer your question, you need to decide how you want to present yourself to the community. If you think you have the right to call yourself a professional author, well that's your right! But do you want to be seen that way? More to the point, do you want to scream it from the roofops? "Hi, I'm LJ, I'm a professional author.", is what your profile page currently says.
I must admit, I think it's very easy to perceive such a thing as bragging. Is that the first thing you want people to know about you? I'd suggest it's not complimentary
Instead, I'd mention the fact in your bio. Maybe even justify it by saying what makes you a pro. But I wouldn't put it in your sig or at the top of your profile page, lest it come across as being ostentatious. Put it where people can find it, but don't shove it in people's faces.
So yeah, you have the right to call yourself a professional writer. And people all over the place abuse a similar right. But be careful about the way you present yourself to others - because people who don't know you might get the wrong impression!
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Lotsa folks here now know how old I am and that I made my living as a paid writer (and editor) for years.
But if you think it looks "phoney" to put it even up top on my profile page -- explained more by the quote...
...I'll take that off, too. I dislike ostentation as much as the next person.
But then -- is it right to put the club positions held in my sig line?
#GetWatchers ' insists I do.
You don't, and I've no idea yet about DLD.
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I put #WritersInk in my sig to give it a bit more promotion, but I'd never insist on that. Your sig space is yours - whether for wit or prestige or pleasantries or adverts... 
I don't think it's "phoney" to put it at the top of the page, but I do think it's a bit braggy. Different strokes for different folks, though!
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Of course it's not fake. But I don't know how to remove it now.
My computing skills have ginormous gaps. Help?
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Head to your profile page and click just under your name in the top-left corner - the bit that says "premium/artist". You should get a little pop-up with a "My Tag Line" box. Just fill that out as you wish
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Well, I love how realistic are your vessels (obviously for a sci-fi piece)! The ion propeller is a touch of class, in my opinion. Probably the story seems to you a bit flimsy because of the length, but I don't find it sparse. The ending is really good, in my opinion.
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Thank you! I really appreciate that
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I'm... envious of your vocabulary.
I wouldn't worry about the story-telling aspect here: the atmosphere more than makes up for it, and when I read this piece, I interpreted it as an extract rather than a full vignette of its own. I love the way you describe action.
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Thank you
I don't know, I still regard this as a failed experiment. Just one of those things - I was trying to do too much too quickly, and then realised that I actually had no idea what I was doing 
Still, it's great to hear that you (and one or two others) are enjoying the story on its own merits
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lol I know what you mean on that score. I either elaborate too much or leave my readers completely in the dark. o__o Still, since this was a timed exercise, I don't think that you should be too hard on yourself.
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I love science fiction, and the only thing stopping me from writing it myself is that I find it really difficult to come up with descriptions like what you have written. I'm good enough with science that I can comprehend what you're writing, but not good enough that I can come up with good science fiction that doesn't have nonsensical descriptions like "ions converged and ricocheted off the fusion of space and time" which might be cool-sounding but ultimately makes no sense. Good job!
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I think one of the skills of the really great sci-fi writers is to take really abstract, out-of-this-world concepts and technologies, and capture them in a way which makes them understandable. From Asimov's focus on behaviour over technology, to Iain M Baink's ability to marry the huge with the intricate, to Neal Stevenson's ablity to make a cyberspace which hadn't yet been invented feel like a real (if surreal) place. There's definitely a skill to 'taming' the science like that.
I certainly haven't done it here - this is just a sketch, really, which you're able to follow because you know about the concepts I'm illustrating
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Yes I will! (After exams, that is. I've reached the crying and pulling out hair stage now
I've been planning a sci-fic(? fantasy?) story in my head for eight years now(in my head
Monstroooo, just out of curiosity, are you published? Magazines, books, anything? You're really such an excellent writer I'll find it hard to believe if you're not engaged in some writing-related occupation
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I'd say starting small and working up is a very good idea
I've not been published at all
I'd like to be a published author one day. The idea's always been to think seriously about writing somewhere around the age of 35. That's a good few years off yet, so until then it's just a happy hobby
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It's unfeasible to develop skills/get feedback through novel chapters
Around the age of 35? I've never really thought about the ages of writers when the write and publish their book, though your comment does make me agree that most successful writers are middle aged, with enough life experience to come up with a deep and engrossing story.
Wish you luck in getting published someday, monstroooo!
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Absolutely - you need to start with realistic targets that you can actually get feedback on, rather than constantly starting new sagas which never really get going
That phrase 'life experience' is the key, really. I don't think it matters how old you are when you write seriously, but I think it's very important to havae seen a bit of the world, to have had some real experiences.
Thank you!
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I love that last line; it's very final, and rather haunting.
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Cheers! I wasn't sure if it was a bit over-written myself, but I'm glad you like it
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Though I am no science-fiction fanatic and a sciency kind of person, the descriptions are simply stunning and easy to imagine. It is a good improvisation for the topic, and developing a piece about space in such a short amount of time, I think is a great achievement. Bravo.
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Thank you 
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you are very welcome~
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eh sounded believable to me - but then I know very little on this topic.
I say the action of it is very good and the ending fit well I think.
nice work
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