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Published: 2012-07-22 20:23:18 +0000 UTC; Views: 1037; Favourites: 18; Downloads: 8
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Description
She felt it every time. The rush. The adrenaline.The thrill.
It was an accidental discovery. She hadn't meant to... it just sort of worked itself out. There she was, cramped up on the tube with everyone else, when Jane noticed the neck of the girl in front of her. It was beautiful. Such clean, soft skin, lightly peppered with hairs, snaking down to the secrets held underneath her pinkish collar.
No-one was looking. And they were all packed in so close together. So she just gave it a little lick.
Just a light brush with the tongue. A dab. She barely even made contact - just the faintest of pecks.
And it was beautiful.
The lady barely even knew it had happened. She looked around, absently rubbed the back of her neck, but continued flicking over her iPad as if nothing had happened.
That was when Jane realised that people didn't expect the unexpected, and as such they didn't react to it. The rush she'd felt.. that fleeting intimacy, that slightly salty taste just tingling on her tongue. She thought about it for days. Nights.
And so, inevitably, she did it again. This time it was a gentleman, dozing in the seat opposite her. He'd been basically unconcious for the last two minutes, and Jane spent the whole torturous time staring at his neck. It was brown, brown like milk chocolate, and ever so lightly stubbled.
When the train stopped and she was left alone with him on the carriage, she didn't waste a second. She switched seats, leaned in, and raked her tongue greedily across his skin.
He woke up with a start.
Jane was prepared, though. She stared intently at a newspaper on her lap, trying desperately not to wonder if she was blushing, or how hot it was on that empty train, or ohmygodthatwasamazing.
The man left at the next stop without saying a word. He hadn't given the slightest sign that he knew what Jane had done - to her, that made it even more exciting. Such suspense...
It became Jane's private little game. Whenever she could, she'd sidle up to strangers on the train, hold her breath, wait for the perfect moment and then -
- then she tasted the thrill.
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Comments: 67
Shyanne-Kai [2012-08-28 16:23:02 +0000 UTC]
This sure is a strange piece! It's unique and works well, at least she's found something to do on the tube!
'...or how hot it was on that empty train, or ohmygodthatwasamazing' - I like this line, it get's into Jane's head and turns her strange rush into something potentially appealing to the reader.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
monstroooo In reply to Shyanne-Kai [2012-08-28 20:53:30 +0000 UTC]
Thanks! This one's proven quite a hit, which scares me a little
No-one else has picked out that line, but I liked it, too Always appreciate the feedback
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Shyanne-Kai In reply to monstroooo [2012-08-31 17:28:37 +0000 UTC]
Haha, maybe it says something about your watchers
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kaleidofish [2012-07-30 19:48:54 +0000 UTC]
Eurghhh. I squirmed while reading this, haha. It was nasty, yet hilarious. Great job!
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monstroooo In reply to kaleidofish [2012-07-31 10:18:43 +0000 UTC]
Thanks Appreciate the fav, too!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
foodpsycho [2012-07-28 15:03:28 +0000 UTC]
This is a really fun piece! I really enjoyed it: sneaky, exciting, with an air of strangeness... all mixed into one delightful cocktail. Paced perfectly.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
neurotype-on-discord [2012-07-27 08:36:05 +0000 UTC]
oh man I would shit a brick if this happened to me...if I even noticed
Whimsical. Nice.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
xlntwtch [2012-07-27 04:34:49 +0000 UTC]
Now I want say it here, as well on your page ... ... ... ...
(I believe that the lady in the fifth row back [on the right] is leaning forward to have a little thrill! What say you?)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
monstroooo In reply to xlntwtch [2012-07-27 07:11:06 +0000 UTC]
Actually, I think she's just leaning forward to have a little lick of the chap in front...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
xlntwtch In reply to monstroooo [2012-07-27 09:39:23 +0000 UTC]
That's what I meant by "have a little thrill"...I saw her, too. lol
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toska9 [2012-07-27 01:26:56 +0000 UTC]
Very nicely done! You are surely talented to produce this in 20 minutes!!
This is exquisite- I never thought I would appreciate the viewpoint of what most people would consider an abhorrent act...you have added a new and quite creepy facet to the term 'assault'!
Thanks for sharing this amazing work!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
monstroooo In reply to toska9 [2012-07-27 10:58:04 +0000 UTC]
Thank you for sharing such a lovely comment!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
ElegantFaith [2012-07-26 19:06:24 +0000 UTC]
This made me smile. I love this piece. Fantastic work, great idea, and very well written. Congrats on the DLD. It's well deserved.
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monstroooo In reply to ElegantFaith [2012-07-26 21:07:25 +0000 UTC]
That's such a lovely thing for you to say - thank you
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LiliWrites [2012-07-26 18:57:19 +0000 UTC]
That was a different flavor of delightful. Congrats on the DLD!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
monstroooo In reply to LiliWrites [2012-07-26 21:07:57 +0000 UTC]
Cheers!
I've always thought that 'neck' is the true flavour of delight
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
LookingGlassInk [2012-07-26 13:44:00 +0000 UTC]
This is so delightfully clever. It's a fun idea, especially for the twenty minute write-off. Very well done. Kinda creepy and kinda appealing at the same time and I can't decide which makes more sense. Awesome story!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
monstroooo In reply to LookingGlassInk [2012-07-26 16:13:23 +0000 UTC]
haha I'm not sure about clever But I'll buy 'kinda creepy'
Hope to see you at the next one!
Do I say that to you every time...?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
LookingGlassInk In reply to monstroooo [2012-07-26 20:00:59 +0000 UTC]
Pretty much. One of these days I'll make it to one too! Probably once the summer is over. Always too much going on during the summer. I'm crossing my fingers for Septmeber!
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Sammur-amat [2012-07-26 11:10:13 +0000 UTC]
This is just too weird and too awesome of a story!
Props
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
Sammur-amat In reply to monstroooo [2012-07-26 11:59:04 +0000 UTC]
You're welcome, keep amazing me with your awesome story-weaving ability!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
monstroooo In reply to Sammur-amat [2012-07-26 12:08:11 +0000 UTC]
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSH!
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wh0rem0ans [2012-07-26 10:42:15 +0000 UTC]
We know bio when we see it. (teasing)
This is very real.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
monstroooo In reply to wh0rem0ans [2012-07-26 11:56:20 +0000 UTC]
Alright, alright, maybe it IS a true story. But I'm not the one doing the licking
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
wh0rem0ans In reply to monstroooo [2012-07-26 16:44:31 +0000 UTC]
LOL ... that never occurred to me!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
glossolalias [2012-07-26 07:01:27 +0000 UTC]
strange but very well-written; i can't say i enjoyed it so much as i was intrigued by it. i do have to say, it's an interesting piece and expertly crafted considering the time constraints. well done.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
DailyLitDeviations [2012-07-26 06:33:30 +0000 UTC]
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by =DailyLitDeviations in a news article that can be found here: [link]
Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by ing the News Article. Keep writing and keep creating.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
monstroooo In reply to DailyLitDeviations [2012-07-26 07:04:51 +0000 UTC]
Good lord, are you sure your readers are ready for this sort of nonsense?
Thank you for the feature - it's a surprise and an honour!
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Alessaandra-the-Fair [2012-07-25 23:23:37 +0000 UTC]
For some reason, I don't think this is odd. I think it's novel and compelling, but nothing too strange happening here. Jane seems like someone I'd like to know better.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
monstroooo In reply to Alessaandra-the-Fair [2012-07-26 06:56:42 +0000 UTC]
Quite a few people are saying similar things - I honestly don't know where I should be concerned of comforted!
Thank you for the kind words and the favourite
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Alessaandra-the-Fair In reply to monstroooo [2012-07-26 09:31:01 +0000 UTC]
It seems pretty obvious to me that Jane is about to taste something that changes her life forever!
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Queshy [2012-07-25 14:48:10 +0000 UTC]
This was awesome!
Probably one of the strangest things I've read next to the nutcracker who loved playing with fire, but awesome for sure!
Thank you for making me laugh today ^.^
*favorites*
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0hgravity [2012-07-23 19:26:37 +0000 UTC]
ha! this was quite a thrill to read. It was weird and a bit awkward but still the character and her strange
adventure I can oddly relate to. I think we've all wanted to do something wacky in public just for the thrill of it.
or maybe just me
nice work!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
monstroooo In reply to 0hgravity [2012-07-24 08:06:23 +0000 UTC]
Well, if you ever get around to doing something wacky like that, just be sure to put it up on YouTube, k? I'd hate to see such bonkersness go to waste....
Thanks as ever
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0hgravity In reply to monstroooo [2012-07-24 14:58:39 +0000 UTC]
haha! I don't know about that. Maybe I'd just write about it.
of course
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Rebeckington [2012-07-23 13:49:05 +0000 UTC]
Oh my goodness this is terrific! I love this, it's so thrilling to actually read too. This definitely does the prompt justice, and for a 20-minute session makes it even better. I suppose it was a case of: the idea came into your head, then your fingers were tapping away before you knew what was happening and BOOM! There's the weirdest story you ever wrote, which is actually pretty darn good. (Although I think my banana one is weirder (but definitely not better).)
I quite like the idea of being a neck-licking thrill seeker. Not on the tube though, with all those sweaty people in such a dry, dusty, dirty environment. Watch out, train passengers of Sussex!
Bravo, me sweet
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