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Acceptance (adj) as defined by Mr. Webster is to believe in, to understand or to take for truth.
Acceptance as seen in my eyes sometimes means settling, I cannot do that. But believing in something, seeing it as fact, knowing the reality of things..and embracing that is sometimes more difficult than even settling.
For me Acceptance of situations that I don't agree with, of sets of  events that don't make me happy or don't fall to order as I would have them is simply not  an option. I will do all I can to change, fix, rearrange and otherwise modify the outcomes. And when all that fails, I have failed. This is why acceptance is hard for me, because it isn't the situations I refuse, it is my own shortcomings, feeling as if I-alone and in my own way, allowed less than what I should or did less than what I could.
And when there is no longer a twist or a turn to make, when reality is stark and cold, when there is no control but to admit your lack of control, THIS is where I break. At this point is where I  rant, I cry and throw myself on my own criticisms and finally, exhausted and disillusioned, can find a bit of clarity to revisit situations that truly aren't of my making or in my control. It is in that darkest and lowest point of self doubt and even a tad of self pity, that dawn breaks and the true process of acceptance, in the adult sense, for me begins.
Where I realize that I cannot always have the power to mend the broken, to fix the flawed and to rearrange things to fit my way of thinking.  It is at this point that the decision is made to stand and live …to take what you have and make of it what you CAN or to turn and run,
I have never been one for running.

So, this is the point where it is best to have someone at my side to help me to find my way of the clutter I usually leave in the wake of acceptance, not physical clutter, but the utter pandemonium of my own head. This is where I let go, where I need a guide and a voice, a hand …because acceptance does not mean surrender, at times it simply means taking a different path to reach the destination.
This is where you turn it all over, and  hope that faith and love will see you through.