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mouseluva — Human
Published: 2009-09-18 05:15:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 140; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Description It was a beautiful clear night in England, 1888. I was taking a walk along the wharf, I did not know why. So, walking alone late at night, I was surprised when a stranger took my hand.

"Sir." I asked him, astonished by his boldness, "What are you doing?" He looked deep into my eyes and pulled me closer. Frightened now, I tried to pull away, but his grip was like rock, unbreakable. He smiled, then sighed into my face.

Blackness.



I awoke some time later in a large room. It had a wooden floor; plaster walls and no windows, except for a small barred one in the door.

Rising from the elegant four-poster bed where I found myself, I tried the door. Locked. I rattled the bars on the window, despite knowing that no matter how loose they were, the window was far too small for even a slender girl like me to squeeze through. Threading my arm between the bars, I tried to find the handle, which was out of reach. Light footsteps pattered towards my door and I hastily withdrew my arm. A young boy's voice whispered instructions and his hand passed some items through. Doing as he said, I hung some cloves of garlic that were threaded on a rope, on the nail above the door, probably put there for that purpose. I then placed two bottles of water on the fireplace and clutched the other in one hand. The boy had told me that the contents of the bottle would burn the man who bought me here, but surely a man of such strength could not me beaten by water? My other hand found its way to the large crucifix the boy had told me to wear around my neck.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of a bolt being drawn back. I dropped the crucifix back down my flimsy blue dress and held the bottle of water behind my back.

The man flung the door open and recoiled as he saw the garlic. He produced a knife from nowhere and hurled it at the garlic rope. The knife clattered noisily against the fireplace and the garlic fell to the floor. Nimbly hopping over the garlic, he entered and closed the door behind him, turning the key in the lock. I was still a prisoner.

Uncorking the bottle behind my back, I backed up against the wall as he approached.

"Come, do not be afraid," he purred as he drew nearer. I screamed and threw the bottle at him. It missed and shattered against the far wall. He hissed as one drop splattered on his arm, drawing a line of blood. I huddled against the wall, shrinking to the floor with my hand on my crucifix.

His face grim, he hauled me to my feet by my wrists. I yelled in pain as he tore the crucifix from my neck and hurled it towards the fireplace. Gritting his teeth he showed me the crucifix shaped burn on his hand.

"See the price I have paid for you?"

In seizing crucifix he had dropped me to the floor again. I crouched against the wall and sprung, aiming for the bed. I had barely moved when he grabbed my wrist with such force, I slid onto my back across the floor. He lifted me to my feet again with that same iron grip.

"I will have you, this chase is pointless," he told me. I looked up, pretending to have obeyed. He chuckled and slid his hands down my back.

"Good girl." He crooned and moved his face closer to mine, until I could smell an iron tang in his breath. As his hands reached my hips I flung myself to the side. As I fell his fingernail ripped my dress from hip to ankle and I fell flat, winded as he locked my ankle in those granite hands. He rolled me onto my back and pinned me to the floor. I looked up into his eyes. Then I was mesmerised. He freed my arms and I wound them around his neck.

Then he was kissing me, hungrily, everywhere. He lifted me up and his lips lingered on my neck, but continued pecking me. I was under his spell and I felt his mouth against my racing pulse.

Then he bit. The spell broke and I struggled and pushed as he drained me. My feet scrabbled for purchase but found only air. I pushed against his shoulders but he was so strong I may as well have been lying still. Eventually I went limp, shuddering as he drained my lifeblood.


A long time later, I awoke on the floor. There was dried blood on my collarbone and I traced its source to two puncture marks on my neck. My fingers had fresh scars on them, deep but more healed than they should be. With no energy left to fight, I crawled onto the bed and fell into my thoughts.



When the light from the door was fading, I heard his footsteps approaching. Swiftly, I dived under the bed and huddled against the wall, heart pounding. I lay still, trying to quiet my breathing, willing my heart to be silent.

"I know where you are dearest," he told me, "Even if your breathing wasn't such a dead giveaway I can still hear your heartbeat. So you might as well come out". Still I remained silent.

"Very well then" With a sigh he dropped to the floor and had my ankle before I could blink. As he pulled me out, I gripped the leg of the bed and curled around it, weeping, as he released me. He brushed a lock of hair from my face and I squeezed my eyes shut tighter and buried my head in my arm. Gently, he cupped my chin and pried my face upwards. As he wiped the tears from my face he whispered to me. Sweet things. Things about a destiny together, creatures of the night. I stayed put, trembling until he uttered the dreaded word. Vampire. Screaming abuse at him I threw myself to the side. He scooped me up and kissed me. I pushed against him as he kissed me again on my neck.

This time when he bit there was no spell to break. I continued to struggle until I went limp from blood loss and passed out.



Again I woke on the floor. The room was blindingly bright. I hissed and retreated under the bed. Then I remembered what he had done to me. I forced myself to come out. In disbelief I touched the crucifix. It felt hot to the touch, my brain rebelling against it. The tiny cross disgusted me. I tried to approach the garlic. It was completely repulsive. I couldn't get within a metre of it. I didn't even try the water. There was no question about it.

I was a vampire now.

Frantic, I charged the door. It fell like cardboard. Gasping with shock, I charged down the hallway at an impossible speed. Thirsty. I was so thirsty.

I reached a window and stepped onto the sill. I made peace with my god, even though I thought it ironic for such an evil creation. Then leapt. No life flashes. Nothing, just one thought.

Thirsty. I'm so thirsty. Over and over as I fell. So thirsty. I hit the pointed rocks with a sickening crunch. It hurt. But not badly. It hurt as if I had jumped into a bed of roses from a first story window, instead of a hundred foot drop from a castle window.

Thirsty. So thirsty. The first rational thought I had as I picked myself up was that I could quench my thirst with a nice cup of tea when I got home.



Even a whole teapot of tea did not work. Frustrated, I wandered outside. I picked a rose from the garden and plucked off its leaves until only the petals and thorns remained. I clutched the stalk until I felt the thorns bite into my skin. I watched with a sick fascination as my tainted blood turned the rose black. Kneeling on my front path, I let it fall to the ground. I watched the rivulets of blood run off my fingers and splat onto the ground. In bed the scene played over and over in my mind. The droplets of blood splatting on the dirt, almost in slow motion. Over and over. Then I knew. That was what I was thirsty for. And I could not control it.



At about three in the morning I came to my senses. I was on a cliff, blood on my lips, carrying a man's lifeless corpse. I was no longer thirsty. I rolled his body off the cliff and stood. I stood for a long time. As dawn broke I had made my decision. I knew what I had to do. A single tear trickled down my cheek. Followed by another. I shuffled closer to the edge and stepped off. My thoughts continued as I fell. I knew that it wouldn't work. Nothing could kill me now. And did I want to die? Not really. It was a sense of duty. I had to do this to keep humankind safe. I hit the water and sunk. I did not need to breathe. Down here my thoughts were clear. I had to drink human blood to survive. But I didn't necessarily have to kill good people. Reaching a decision, I swum to the surface and climbed back up the cliff. It was now midday. Days pass fast for a vampire it seems. I was amazed at my skin. It had a slight transparency to it, almost luminescent. I flitted home; making sure no one could see me, running faster than sound.

As I reached my room, I looked in the mirror. My dress was torn in many places, barely covering my chest. My hair was still the same red but the curls were limp from the seawater. My skin was even paler than it had been as a human, barely a shade above white. It made my hair look crimson and my eyes glow an even deeper jade. The jade hue was pricked with red, not like veins, but like blood drops. Even though the water had washed away all the blood on my face, my lips still looked coated in it. I bathed and changed.

The next time I was thirsty, I visited a prison. I have never looked back since. I try rid the world of evil people.

A few years later, the vampire who blooded me wanted me to join his entourage. He had been blooding beautiful girls from all over England. I was the only one who had escaped. I refused him, and like a gentleman he left. I think it peculiar, that he kidnaps young girls but was so chivalrous.

Together we protect you. You will never see us, although some of the vainer ones may pose on the catwalk. But someone needs to save humankind from themselves. Yes that would be you. Watch out for that deep thinking though. If you hate human damage enough, you could find yourself on our patrol.
After all. Someone needs to keep humans in line. Wouldn't want to hurt the planet now would we?
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Comments: 3

Emmysarus [2010-04-09 19:25:24 +0000 UTC]

okay, i have mixed feelings about this. SO far wu have you have some really good ideas and two effective characters wrapped up in there. these are your strengths so i would provide more focus on them. i was more interested and captivated in the way he spoke and purred to her and the weird situation and relationship between them over all the other things that happened. try not to rush this story, add more detail and emotion to build up feelings and attention from the reader.great opportunites for this include what she felt lik and how the blood tasted when she was up on those cliffs. i think if you work on detail and emotion rather than just the storyline it will be a really good read!
hope you put up more on this!

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mouseluva In reply to Emmysarus [2010-04-09 20:42:00 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the feedback (: (: I'll look into it if I get time.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Emmysarus In reply to mouseluva [2010-04-10 01:01:51 +0000 UTC]

You are welcome

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