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Description
The Jurdall Mountains cut into the sky's bright, purple canvas as dawn drew near.  Clouds served as….

-Hey!  Wait a second!  Hold on, Borg.-

What is it now, Randy?  Can't you see I'm narrating goddammit?

-For as much as the audience cares, you're narrating an obituary.  It literally made me want to kill myself.  Where's all the action or dialogue in this fantasy?-

It's all up your furry ass!  I've been reading high-order fantasy long before you left diapers.  As far as I know, good fantasies start with good exposition.

-I can narrate better than you using my eyes.  But before we kill each other, maybe we should lift the confusion off of our readers.-

Alright, but don't think this is over.  Hi, I'm Borg – the narrator of this story entitled A Tale of Nikedemia.  Everything I say is in exposition.

-I'm Randy – co-narrator.  Everything I say has hyphens at the ends of my speeches.  It's my job to bitch-slap Borg if he does something wrong.-

He has never succeeded though.  Hehehehehe!  Oh, shit!  We have to wrap this prologue up in a few paragraphs or the author and editor both will have our heads.

-Correction!  They'll have your head.  But that's fine.  Go ahead.-

Fucker!  Okay, where was I?  Oh, yeah!  The Jurdall Mountains cut into the sky's bright, purple canvas as dawn drew near.  Clouds served as paintbrushes that stroked the sky with grandeur pigments and stunning shafts of light.  God, this is gay!  Down below, the city of Garasequbo – or whatever the hell it's pronounced - lit up preparing for the upcoming night.  Merchants closed up shop to return to a good night's rest.  Light shone off the tall structures of the church.  Spires jutted out of the church like Randy's….err, err….at a lively frat party.

-Oh, fuck you Mr. Pedophile!  I'm getting really sick of your sexual affiliation remarks.  I'm straight Goddammit!  I have dated before.  You make….-

Whoa!  Easy, Love-Machine.  Save it for the rehab sessions.  You know, I'm beginning to think that is whole duo was a shitty mistake.

-Oh, gee, ya think?!  The author probably assumed that since we lived in the same town together, we were best pals and shit.  I miss Mqwryun.-

Don't say such nonsense, Randy.  That dickhead made me say….nice stuff….in those stories.  (Shivers)!  I vomited for nearly a week after I apologized to those rats.

-Mqwryun gave me a purpose, Borg.  He gave me the job of foiling your evil deeds in those….-

*HEY!!!  WHY ALL THE CHITTY CHATTER?  GET TO NARRATING!*

Oh, shit!  Our editor!  Y….ye….yeah, I'll get started.  (Waits until editor leaves.)  Son of a bitch!

The Jurdall Mountains cut into the sky's bright, purple canvas (sigh!) as dawn drew near.  Clouds served as paintbrushes that stroked the sky with grandeur pigments and stunning shafts of light.  Down below, the city of Garasequbo….wait!  Oh, fuck!

-Huh?  What is it?-

I just found out that you were a guy.  Pffffhhh….heh, heh, heh!

-Grrrrrhhh!  That's not funny.  You should really get going with this prologue or your ass is hauled.  Does this not register to you, Borg?-

You know very well how much it registers to me.  I'm Borg after all!  It's just that if I can whoop your furry hide with ease, what can two humans do?

-They'll fire you; that's what they'll do.  Next thing you know, you will be kneeling in front of Mqwryun's doorstep pleading for a spot.-

Unlikely!  First of all, these humans are weak-willed.  I can literally make them shove their heads up their asses just by starting a conversation on Speedos.  I even got Mqwryun to one time talk on the telephone with the cord snapped, and he still thought he was talking to his grandpa.  You should know better by now!

-Do you honestly believe that will save your narrating career?  "No, I never completely narrated a full-length novel, but my last editor did end up foaming in the mouth."  Seriously, you make Keanu Reeves look stable.-

Keanu Reeves; what an amazing actor.

-Borg!-

I'm just fucking with you.  Anyways, our time is up.  Oops!  Well, let's just say that in the city of Garasequbo, nothing happened.  There!  Prologue ended!  Now, after I receive a scolding from our editor and writer, we'll move on to Chapter one.  Oh, and Randy!

-Yeah?-

Is it not too much to ask for some of those Maxi-Pads that you keep hidden?  I find that they make great pain absorbers for the beating I'm going to receive.

-(Sigh!)  This is going to be one long novel.-

Description
The Jurdall Mountains cut into the sky's bright, purple canvas as dawn drew near.  Clouds served as….

-Hey!  Wait a second!  Hold on, Borg.-

What is it now, Randy?  Can't you see I'm narrating goddammit?

-For as much as the audience cares, you're narrating an obituary.  It literally made me want to kill myself.  Where's all the action or dialogue in this fantasy?-

It's all up your furry ass!  I've been reading high-order fantasy long before you left diapers.  As far as I know, good fantasies start with good exposition.

-I can narrate better than you using my eyes.  But before we kill each other, maybe we should lift the confusion off of our readers.-

Alright, but don't think this is over.  Hi, I'm Borg – the narrator of this story entitled A Tale of Nikedemia.  Everything I say is in exposition.

-I'm Randy – co-narrator.  Everything I say has hyphens at the ends of my speeches.  It's my job to bitch-slap Borg if he does something wrong.-

He has never succeeded though.  Hehehehehe!  Oh, shit!  We have to wrap this prologue up in a few paragraphs or the author and editor both will have our heads.

-Correction!  They'll have your head.  But that's fine.  Go ahead.-

Fucker!  Okay, where was I?  Oh, yeah!  The Jurdall Mountains cut into the sky's bright, purple canvas as dawn drew near.  Clouds served as paintbrushes that stroked the sky with grandeur pigments and stunning shafts of light.  God, this is gay!  Down below, the city of Garasequbo – or whatever the hell it's pronounced - lit up preparing for the upcoming night.  Merchants closed up shop to return to a good night's rest.  Light shone off the tall structures of the church.  Spires jutted out of the church like Randy's….err, err….at a lively frat party.

-Oh, fuck you Mr. Pedophile!  I'm getting really sick of your sexual affiliation remarks.  I'm straight Goddammit!  I have dated before.  You make….-

Whoa!  Easy, Love-Machine.  Save it for the rehab sessions.  You know, I'm beginning to think that is whole duo was a shitty mistake.

-Oh, gee, ya think?!  The author probably assumed that since we lived in the same town together, we were best pals and shit.  I miss Mqwryun.-

Don't say such nonsense, Randy.  That dickhead made me say….nice stuff….in those stories.  (Shivers)!  I vomited for nearly a week after I apologized to those rats.

-Mqwryun gave me a purpose, Borg.  He gave me the job of foiling your evil deeds in those….-

*HEY!!!  WHY ALL THE CHITTY CHATTER?  GET TO NARRATING!*

Oh, shit!  Our editor!  Y….ye….yeah, I'll get started.  (Waits until editor leaves.)  Son of a bitch!

The Jurdall Mountains cut into the sky's bright, purple canvas (sigh!) as dawn drew near.  Clouds served as paintbrushes that stroked the sky with grandeur pigments and stunning shafts of light.  Down below, the city of Garasequbo….wait!  Oh, fuck!

-Huh?  What is it?-

I just found out that you were a guy.  Pffffhhh….heh, heh, heh!

-Grrrrrhhh!  That's not funny.  You should really get going with this prologue or your ass is hauled.  Does this not register to you, Borg?-

You know very well how much it registers to me.  I'm Borg after all!  It's just that if I can whoop your furry hide with ease, what can two humans do?

-They'll fire you; that's what they'll do.  Next thing you know, you will be kneeling in front of Mqwryun's doorstep pleading for a spot.-

Unlikely!  First of all, these humans are weak-willed.  I can literally make them shove their heads up their asses just by starting a conversation on Speedos.  I even got Mqwryun to one time talk on the telephone with the cord snapped, and he still thought he was talking to his grandpa.  You should know better by now!

-Do you honestly believe that will save your narrating career?  "No, I never completely narrated a full-length novel, but my last editor did end up foaming in the mouth."  Seriously, you make Keanu Reeves look stable.-

Keanu Reeves; what an amazing actor.

-Borg!-

I'm just fucking with you.  Anyways, our time is up.  Oops!  Well, let's just say that in the city of Garasequbo, nothing happened.  There!  Prologue ended!  Now, after I receive a scolding from our editor and writer, we'll move on to Chapter one.  Oh, and Randy!

-Yeah?-

Is it not too much to ask for some of those Maxi-Pads that you keep hidden?  I find that they make great pain absorbers for the beating I'm going to receive.

-(Sigh!)  This is going to be one long novel.-