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Description
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Cappy’s Random Rant
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Tales from the Cap! I figured I might as well type up my real-life adventures before, like all the geniuses before me, I’m struck with Alzheimer’s and left only to think that American Idol is NOT karaoke. No. NOOO!!

Remember the series ‘Unsolved Mysteries’? It was a show narrated by Robert Stack about stories that were…well, you know. The opening music always freaked me out. Anyway, most of the stories involved reenactments of events. Mind you, this is Jason’s ten-year-old brain processing this stuff. One of the stories involved a runaway case, and the narrator calmly said “The young boy walked out the door, never to return again.” In all seriousness, I complained to my grandparents “Why doesn’t the camera guy stop the boy if they know he’s running away?”
They didn’t answer. Probably convinced they misheard me because nobody could say anything that retarded. Hey, at that age it’s pretty clever to know the camera guy was contributing to the delinquency of a minor!

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Cappy’s Rockin’ Rendition
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Oh snap, I’m totally a hardcore nonconformist by stating I didn’t care for the Matrix trilogy. I’m literally fighting the system, you sheeple! Actually, the first movie was interesting, the second movie was fine, and the third movie had me turning over the DVD box in shock “Ebert thought the last movie was the best cinematic experience of his entire career? Never shall I trust his cholesterol-laden opinions.” Seriously, the final debate between Neo and the Father Brain:

FB: LIEK OMG U R SOOO DED!!!!!1
Neo: Would you stop your decades-old blind psychotic slaughter rage if I erased the Smith Virus…and gave you a hug?
FB: LOL U ISH TEH KEWLIEZ!!!!ELEVENTY!!

THAT’S what was ticking the machines off; they couldn't run a Norton scan by themselves?
Technology sucks.
Instead of making products smaller, I wish they’d make them more reliable. I’ve had videogame cartridges die, headphones sputter…but we ALL have a television in the closet with a turn dial nob from the 70’s that still works like the day it was assembled. Lo my children, that is the true conspiracy of the machines: they shall devolve into a box of wires and complete suck, forcing you to spend money every week just to define it as functioning.

Whenever technology breaks down, whether it be a PowerPoint presentation crapping out on a presenter or the Internet abruptly shutting off, I joke that that’s why the Matrix could never happen. If the machines ever decided to rebel, they’d last a good week before they caught a virus or hit a bug and crash. So, my Matrix fans and Matrix haters, hope you enjoy the sad, logical conclusion to the short-lived uprising. Try making that into a three parter!

Misc:
The good thing that came from the Matrix is the very cool Animatrix movie…much more satisfying than the third installment.

The spider-esque Sentinels were pretty neat. In fact, anything that has ever been named ‘sentinel’ in a series comes out sweet. I’d have been just as content if Father Brain looked like a giant pimped-out Sentinel rather than Zordon from Power Rangers. Although…if a dozen Neos and a dozen Smiths connected and dueled each other in a Megazord death match…the two hour blahfest would have easily been worth it (Smithy Sword Attack!!).
-The “There Can Be Only One…More Matrix Slo-Mo Parody Before I Murder The Person Next To Me” Cappy

For the copycats: Micron Pigma pen 03 (linework), discontinued Crayola educational watercolors, mechanical pencil with shading stump (some gray).

Description
====================
Cappy’s Random Rant
====================
Tales from the Cap! I figured I might as well type up my real-life adventures before, like all the geniuses before me, I’m struck with Alzheimer’s and left only to think that American Idol is NOT karaoke. No. NOOO!!

Remember the series ‘Unsolved Mysteries’? It was a show narrated by Robert Stack about stories that were…well, you know. The opening music always freaked me out. Anyway, most of the stories involved reenactments of events. Mind you, this is Jason’s ten-year-old brain processing this stuff. One of the stories involved a runaway case, and the narrator calmly said “The young boy walked out the door, never to return again.” In all seriousness, I complained to my grandparents “Why doesn’t the camera guy stop the boy if they know he’s running away?”
They didn’t answer. Probably convinced they misheard me because nobody could say anything that retarded. Hey, at that age it’s pretty clever to know the camera guy was contributing to the delinquency of a minor!

====================
Cappy’s Rockin’ Rendition
====================
Oh snap, I’m totally a hardcore nonconformist by stating I didn’t care for the Matrix trilogy. I’m literally fighting the system, you sheeple! Actually, the first movie was interesting, the second movie was fine, and the third movie had me turning over the DVD box in shock “Ebert thought the last movie was the best cinematic experience of his entire career? Never shall I trust his cholesterol-laden opinions.” Seriously, the final debate between Neo and the Father Brain:

FB: LIEK OMG U R SOOO DED!!!!!1
Neo: Would you stop your decades-old blind psychotic slaughter rage if I erased the Smith Virus…and gave you a hug?
FB: LOL U ISH TEH KEWLIEZ!!!!ELEVENTY!!

THAT’S what was ticking the machines off; they couldn't run a Norton scan by themselves?
Technology sucks.
Instead of making products smaller, I wish they’d make them more reliable. I’ve had videogame cartridges die, headphones sputter…but we ALL have a television in the closet with a turn dial nob from the 70’s that still works like the day it was assembled. Lo my children, that is the true conspiracy of the machines: they shall devolve into a box of wires and complete suck, forcing you to spend money every week just to define it as functioning.

Whenever technology breaks down, whether it be a PowerPoint presentation crapping out on a presenter or the Internet abruptly shutting off, I joke that that’s why the Matrix could never happen. If the machines ever decided to rebel, they’d last a good week before they caught a virus or hit a bug and crash. So, my Matrix fans and Matrix haters, hope you enjoy the sad, logical conclusion to the short-lived uprising. Try making that into a three parter!

Misc:
The good thing that came from the Matrix is the very cool Animatrix movie…much more satisfying than the third installment.

The spider-esque Sentinels were pretty neat. In fact, anything that has ever been named ‘sentinel’ in a series comes out sweet. I’d have been just as content if Father Brain looked like a giant pimped-out Sentinel rather than Zordon from Power Rangers. Although…if a dozen Neos and a dozen Smiths connected and dueled each other in a Megazord death match…the two hour blahfest would have easily been worth it (Smithy Sword Attack!!).
-The “There Can Be Only One…More Matrix Slo-Mo Parody Before I Murder The Person Next To Me” Cappy

For the copycats: Micron Pigma pen 03 (linework), discontinued Crayola educational watercolors, mechanical pencil with shading stump (some gray).