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muddpuddle — sleepy
Published: 2007-05-23 13:57:34 +0000 UTC; Views: 211; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 1
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Description
the sun is pale and soft on the skinhesistant but cheerful, insistent and childlike
a stranger's smiling eyes over the edge of the bed
waiting for your own to appear.
a mornings beginning
varied, constant, demanding, languid,
she has a cup of coffee
her job is boring, but money is money, right?
he is desperately late for a class
he doesn't even like this class, but there is a cute girl in it.
over there, she is dancing to her favorite song.
this one will have a wonderful day.
and on the other side, he has just realized he is in love.
the girl beside him however, is not. he will not have a wonderful day.
the light creeps from the chin up to the nose, across the sensitive eye lids.
it is liquid encouragement
laughing and silent
expectant.
it is a day, noticing, and awake, waiting for you to live it.
there are many days, but what can be done with today?
there will be many interruptions, but what can be done with those?
and there will be
many sunshines
to wake up the sleepy
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Comments: 6
I enjoyed this very much. If I were to change one thing however, I would get rid of the first two lines of the last stanza. To me, they completely change the feel of the poem.
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yeah i think i would agree. i was reaching, ill admit it. i got a phone call and completely lost the ending. dont you hate that? thankyou.
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I completely hate when that happens. My problem is that I can come up with stanzas, but they don't always go together at all.
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that is truly annoying as well. whatever are we to do? ^.^
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I really like the light imagery - the subtle tones of the skin, the rays of liquid encouragement to wake up the sleepy. Is there any way to incorporate more of it?
Is it a finished piece or are you still working on it?
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i dont know. i get bored at work.
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