HOME | DD

Description
It's Not Real

The small boy stood, staring at the grave. Tears ran down his face. It wasn't right, it just wasn't. Nothing was ever right for him. His blonde hair was ruffled by the wind, and he looked up to the sky, caught in his memories. This shouldn't have happened. His entire life he barely even existed. It was all he remembered. He had no friends, everyone around him though he was strange. He barely knew his father. He had been forced to leave the boy's mother long ago. His mother had shown him only false love, pretending that she had cared about him, but always he knew that she didn't really feel it. She couldn't even if she wanted to. She just continued to pretend. It had hurt so much knowing that she wasn't able. So the boy continued to live without it. Then one day, She came along. She stayed with him, and she did something that seemed impossible. She loved him. She loved him and the boy couldn't understand. He had spent so long being hated and despised. Neglected and unloved even by those who were closest to him. Yet here She was, caring about him, loving him.
"It can't be real!" his mind screamed, "It's not supposed to be real. Everyone hates me. I've never been loved. I've never felt happiness. I am alone, that's all I know how to be. No one can love me. If I am loved, then what am I supposed to be? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE?" He didn't know the answer. He hadn't ever been happy before, yet now he was, and at the same time it hurt again. How could he be loved? He was unlovable, untouchable, and undesireable. It wasn't possible. As he stared at the grave, and a new wave of tears ran down his face. The anguish was too great. Finally, the diggers threw the last shovelful of dirt onto the mound. People began to walk away. Leaving the 11 year old boy alone. He couldn't be loved. Even now he didn't believe it, though She had loved him. It couldn't be real. It was never real. Finally he stood, and looked one last time. Even now, with all the crying faces he didn't see it, didn't feel it. The tears shed had meant nothing to him. He was broken inside. He had spent too long feeling nothing. Dying in his suffering. He turned and walked away, fading into nothing as She laid flowers on his headstone.