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n-g-e — Unattainable
Published: 2007-07-30 13:34:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 299; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 3
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Description You’re so delicious
It’s sacrilegious
I swear I could eat you alive
You’re unattainable
On a pedestal
I watch your vanity thrive

Up on your steeple
The chosen people
Throw penance at your feet
I stand in line
You break my spine
This pain is ever so sweet

Shower of gifts
The pendulum shifts
Begging for ounce of your time
You’re out of reach
No time to preach
Everything is so sublime

The façade shakes
Your spire breaks
As you stumble to the ground
Not so divine
Could have been mine
But I am no longer around
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Comments: 11

Black-Roses-Fall [2008-07-16 11:10:00 +0000 UTC]

You know, I just came back to this again.. and I love it even more.. I wish I could fave it again.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

n-g-e In reply to Black-Roses-Fall [2008-07-19 21:14:26 +0000 UTC]

Thanks mate. It's still one of my personal favourites...one of the very few poems I'm glad to have written

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Black-Roses-Fall In reply to n-g-e [2008-07-20 03:26:59 +0000 UTC]

You're quite welcome man.

Good work deserves to be appreciated.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

LonelyMortal [2007-08-03 12:53:17 +0000 UTC]

this is great.
I is good feeling to read poems after a while- especially yours

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

n-g-e In reply to LonelyMortal [2007-08-03 18:02:40 +0000 UTC]

Awww... *blushes* Thank you

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LonelyMortal In reply to n-g-e [2007-08-04 00:00:03 +0000 UTC]

it's nothing

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Black-Roses-Fall [2007-07-31 08:17:05 +0000 UTC]

Oh heck yes.

Fave this in a second

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

n-g-e In reply to Black-Roses-Fall [2007-07-31 08:18:27 +0000 UTC]

Haha...thanks

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Tar1988 [2007-07-30 16:58:23 +0000 UTC]

The last stanza is by far the best. Just tell me why you left out the word 'you' in the second last line ?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

n-g-e In reply to Tar1988 [2007-07-30 17:16:08 +0000 UTC]

Hmm, I thought it had a better rhythm with "you" omitted and it felt "better". Sounded that way in my head at the time of writing anyway. Funny though, the last stanza was the one I had the most problems with. I was toying with the idea of having:

You're not so divine
You could have been mine

then decided to drop the Yous in both lines.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Tar1988 In reply to n-g-e [2007-07-30 17:49:13 +0000 UTC]

Yes, your way is probably the best.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0